General Chat

do you ever feel so empty,don't know where your going in life.... feel like you'v come to cross roads and don't know which one to take...well that's where i'm at, at the moment,all my life i'v felt that everything as alway's gon wrong.don't get me wrong i have had some happy years but they alway's seem to end and turn into devastation,i'v alway's felt i'v given 100% to whatever i'v achieved threw out my life.and i'v always been a fighter.i'v been knocked down so many times and at to climb up......but just lately i feel i'v got no fight left anymore.my 10 year relationship is about to end.i'm so woried about being made redundant,woried about where to live,as we need to sell the property we'r in at the moment,woried about am i going to be able to support my two teenage children...god where does it end i'm woried about so many things at the moment.can't see the woods for the trees.

I understand ....been there many times....

(((((hugs)))) Been there many times, get days like that now, where everything seems just too much to cope with. You are strong, and you will bounce back again.

Been there too - you will bounce back - our motto is onwards and upwards. Mary in Spain

It's the end of a chapter in your life Sunshine. Time for a new direction, chin up, it's the wheel of life turning and time for pastures new. Hopefully it will bring you some lovely rewards along the way. Think positive.................. Nanna-Moo-G :))

yes, been there. all i can suggest is break your problems down into small chunks - maybe write a list of all the issues you have to find solutions for. then go through them and think about all the ways you could solve each, or where you need to go for help to solve it. if an issue is too big to think about, break it down again into smaller parts and solve the parts. knock them off one by one and feel proud when you've sorted each and every one item. the reason you feel so bad if you are like me is that when you have so many problems your head spins and you can't use your usual common sense and judgement to see through them. breaking them into little pieces and working them through piece by piece really does help. Angela

I don't imagine there's a person alive who hasn't had the bad times Sunshine, when they can't imagine where to turn next. You chose your lovely name though, so I'm sure you will find your way out the other side:)) Chrissie x

I agree with Angela, I suppose we have all been there to some point, but there is light at the end of the tunnel even though we dont think its there. What you need at the moment is to clear your mind, I know its hard at the moment, get your coat and go for a long quiet walk and just clear your mind and then do what Angela said. Big hugs Yvonne x

hello my friend, god, when it rains, it really does pour...no one can cope with so many problems at once, you need to put them in order of importance, and write them down, with the most urgent at the top.then concentrate on them one at a time. i'm not very good on advicing about relationships, as i messed mine up, but there's some great ladies on here, that can advise you, of that i'm sure. you know you can always pm me, and i will listen, you can even swear if you want :o) bryan.

PMd you Sunshine Gerry :-))

sending you a (((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))). I'm afraid I'm the last person who could give you advice but i understand how you feel. I think Angela has given really good advice and the only thing i could add to that is take it slowly and aim for a little acheivement every day (rather than aim for something big and not succeed because it was too much too soon. Good luck Jen

(((((((hugs 4 u))))))))))

sunshine yes i know where you are coming from but ask yourself this (as i did/do) relationship- am i really happy? or is it that this is comfortable and i just dont like change. instead of the end being a sad time, it could well be the start of something far better Work- is being made redundant so bad? would it mean i am destitute, or simply that i will have to curb my lifestyle and though i quite like my lifestyle, i could live without a few things if it meant i was less stressed/happier Teenage children, so they may have to do without a few things that they take for granted, but they could learn from it, we all want to give our kids everything, but sometimes the best thing we can give them is the experience of having to work for the things they really want, rather than going to the Bank of Mum all the time this is what i did, took a long hard look at myself and realised that a lot of what 'i was going through' was simply due to the choices i have made which made me realise i still have choices, and depending on which i choose it may mean me making what i consider sacrifices. it is like Angela said, you have to break it all down into managable chunks and really ask yourself, can i do thi, do i need this, do i want this hope that makes sense Bev

Hi Sunshine I know what you mean. I have felt like this at times in my life. Things happen for a reason don't they.I always tend to think that the bad times don't go on forever, there is always something else round the corner even if you don't know it yet. Try and stay positive, you have lots of friends on here, and we will always listen. love always catherine xx

Prioritising your problems is useful, when you've written them down. But it can also be a bit scary at the beginning. My personal preference at the start is to just brainstorm - chuck all the things you need to sort out on a bit of paper or in a wordprocessing doc, in the order they come to you. Then break them up into manageable bits, and maybe pick a few you can solve straight away, without too much trouble - and sort them now so you can tick them off. That gives you confidence. Then of the rest there will be some you can and should solve on your own, and others you need help for, some that are urgent and some that can wait. You cam group them however you like - but it really doesn't matter which way you choose as long as it works for you. Counselling can help you to calm your mind enough to do this and to see the wood for the trees. I hated the thought of it myself but I did it a couple of years ago and it did help. Angela

Tomorrow Phone your local Citizens Advice Bureau. Make an appointment to discuss your 'practical' problems. Chris

Don't usually have an input on lifes problems but somehow Sunshine I feel as though I need to show you some support like the rest of the thread. Been pretty lucky in life myself but I do know that it is important to get a list of priorities to work to - some semblence of order - to show the way. My youngest son has been through the wringer since last September - sure he had the support of Mum and Dad but he has been strong and although not entirely blameless in a domestic situation both my wife and I are proud of him. Take strength from the replies that I have been reading and feed from all the friendship around you. Bless!

just wanted to say to you all, thank to those who'v pm'd me with some really good support groups, and most inportantly to those who'v come to this thread,thank you so much for all your kind words.your all an inspiration to people that may feel like i do at the moment.i'm usually a very private person, but i feel so down today' i just hope i feel diferent tomorrow...................... love to you all gwyneth.

Been there and definitely got the T-shirt! You feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel - I know, I've felt like that too. But believe me, life somehow turns things around - it did for me on more than one occasion, just when you least expect it. So don't let it get you down because there is always something good around the corner, believe me. Stella

I was going to add about the Citizens Advice Bureau. They are good at pointing out what you are entitled to for redundancy payments and can help you know what other help you may be able to get if you do set up on your own. They also have a list of solicitors that give half-hour legal advice sessions for free. Does you house insurance policy have a free legal advice service that you can use? As the children are teenage, try to keep them involved in decisions and be honest with them so that they understand what is happening and won't resent decisions that have to be made. it is not going to be easy, but don't forget there is always someone to talk to either on here or at the CAB or other help organisations. You'll get through it, you were strong enough to come on here and say things were tough and think of all that you need to do. Good luck Claire