General Chat

Yes, that could be true Jess !

I am sure it should be treated as an illness, aggravating though it is. I wonder if it is a case of low self esteem and the need to boost their image with other people. Maybe they are to be pitied more than scorned. But also maybe there is more than one type of compulsive liar,as in the teenagers who hopefully grow out of it and the adult who can't kick the habit/can't help it. having said that Mandy, I don't know what the answer is, unless one day she trips up and you can challenge her and ask her why she does it. Sad that she will lose friends because they are probably the people who need them most. Sorry not much help, just wanted to comment. Ann Glos

I know a compulsive liar. Ive only known Janice * (Name changed to protect identity) a few months, but it seems every week, I get an email from her, crying over her latest drama. And dramas they are, some are so far fetched its hardly believable it seems she is attention seeking 24/7. She mails her tale of woe, gains the usual load of sympathy / advice, then suddenly seems ok for a few days / weeks, then once the attention has died down, another drama unfolds. What is sad though is lots of her mates are at last realising that she is lying, and attention seeking. People are not bothered anymore to believe her tall tales. and to be honest people are now laughing at her, as no one likes to be made a fool of, least of all from a grown woman with children. Next week a tall tale is due......most likely aliens whould have abducted her.during eastenders E x

The shame is that if something really does go bad for a compulsive liar,no-one will believe them. xx Jill

Although it's very sad to read all these stories, I'm glad that it's not just me in this difficult position. Jill, that's exactly what I was thinking - sooner or later it will be 'cry wolf', she will tell her friends something that is actually true but none of us will believe her. Thanks for your replies, Mandy xx

I know one a relative the sorry thing is that they have always made up stories and their parents always believed them and if you questioned it you were made to feel you were in the wrong.. It at times has caused a lot of trouble for innocent people. Also when they do tell the truth you don't believe them I don't think they are as bad now as they were but the thing is like most people I always wonder if what they say is true . Something awful happened to them a couple of years back ( well if it is true) and though I think there may be some truth in it there is that nagging doubt. Sometimes I feel sorry for them and in a way blame thier parents as they just took everything as fact and took it out on other people. Germaine x

Been thinking about this (sad or what) and yes, there are two types of compulsive liars. My daughter worked in a bar to fund her way through college. One of the bar flies was a puny bloke, very young we all thought, but actually 29, who regularly managed to water-ski his way to work, tackle 14 muggers singlehanded and rescue ten people from a burning building, all before he arrived in the bar at 11a.m. sharp. He was always the hero of the hour in his own stories, so I guess it was an ego-boosting exercise. Everyone laughed at him, but my daughter is a soft soul and she was kind to him and listened to his ravings. It turned nasty - he started following her around, 'accidentally' bumping into her when she came out of college, phoning her and asking for dates. He bought her an expensive gold necklace for her 21st - I shudder to think where he got the money from - despite the fact that she now had a steady boyfriend. He told everyone he was engaged to her, carried a photo around. New boyfriend was a copper and warned him off unofficially at first, then they gave him an official harrassment warning. The Landlord banned him from the Pub, but he just hung around outside. To our utter horror and I still don't know how this happened, he and his parents moved into the flat above ours. He would lean out of his bedroom window, above my daughter's and tap on her window with a fishing rod. In the end, copper boyfriend and a few mates off duty, 'sorted him out'. I didn't approve of this really, I hate violence, but it worked. He now has a real girlfriend and someone who knows him says all the lying has stopped and he is just an ordinary sort of bloke now. Possibly he was just so lonely that things got out of hand when a pretty girl was kind to him and he was so used to his own fantasy world that he had no experience of real emotions and real people. The compulsive liars who exist in their own fantasy world are usually harmless. It is, as a previous poster said, the ones who try to drag you into their fantasies and make you play the part that satisfies them - the need for sympathy and attention, who are offensive, because in some way they have stolen something from you that they do not deserve. OC

My liar told an ex girlfirend a relative had died and left him a lot of money she unknowingly went and asked another relative how the family were and how sorry she was. It was her that the family turned on saying she had made it up caused a terrible upset luckily the people that mattered knew the truth. In a way sad that he had to resort to this to try and win her affection back. He was in another relationship at the time. Sad when people get to this state. Germaine x

OC - yes they do steal something from you: your time and trust and because of that they also steal from other people. Once caught is twice shy and there is a tendency for those that have been lied to to be wary of believing anyone quite so readily again for fear of being duped a second time. Consequently they are slow to respond to people that speak the truth. Mags x

Hi Mandy Compulsive lying is a really strong symptom of a personality disorder. People with personality disorders are becoming more common and I would love to see more information for regular people about them as a run in or relationship with someone suffering from one can be devastating Try googling personality disorders and have a really good read. You may recognise the full set of symptoms for your friend. The 2 I see most about are narcissistic personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder. In fact anyone reading this message should check out these sites,we all encounter these people on a daily basis sometimes in real life and sometimes on the internet,it is useful to know what you are dealing with so as not to react or become involved with them. Regards Tania PS I had my lesson after marriage to a Narcissist.

i know a whole bunch,,,of liars,,,,, Labour Party Cabinet Minister's.