General Chat

I haven't posted because there's now't to post on !! Hey.........will someone for gods sake post something relevant !! Valleykins. Hi Valley, perhaps you should post threads on topics that you are interested in rather than waiting for people to post something that you are interested in. The general board is only what we make it. Personally, I think there is room for all sorts of topics. What sorts of topics grab your interest? :-)

I won't be renewing when my sub runs out in August, for two reasons. One - I haven't forgotten the September thing, and that did more to make me realise that the Management of GR have not the slightest interest in this site, other than to rake in the money. It would be so easy to appoint Moderators and stop any nastiness before it gets going - every other site I belong to has Moderators, why not GR? The September thing also alerted me to the fact that there a few members of GR who are clinically insane and I am very anxious not to cross their paths again. And I have a big problem with the tree on this site - awkward, confusing and insultingly inadequate - it must be the only Family Tree programme in existence which does not allow you to marry off cousins, or brothers to another family of sisters etc. The other reason I shall not be renewing - this is not the genealogical site that I thought it would be when I joined. I had visions of like-minded people, all earnestly and thoroughly researching their trees. Most members are not earnest and not thorough. So be it - it is ME who is out of place, not the rest of the members. But to find myself the subject of vicious abuse, sneering and taunting, for DARING to suggest that you at least need a couple of bmd certs, shook me to the core, I have to say. I do not fit in here and shall go elsewhere. I have had great fun on here and some absolutely priceless help from other members. But I can get that elsewhere, mostly with the same people too. OC

Hi Colin, I have been a member for a short time, just read occasionally and posted about twice, I was unlucky when I joined, the site was suspending posts for a while and joined another site, but I can see what your side of the coin is and you are quite right to follow your own way, but just in the same way, other people who have left or are thinking of leaving, are just as right to follow their own way, as you do. You seem a very good person and I am in no way critisising you, there has (reading between the lines) been too much of that in the past, and only wish you well. Cheers for listening, mate from Captain Sparra

I agree with everything you have said, Colin. I have never posted on a contentious thread that I can remember. I believe the only way to deal with them is to ignore the nasty posts that come up. However, I have never been on the receiving end so I don't really know how I would react if confronted with a personal attack. I have just renewed because I enjoy this site and I have received a lot of genealogical help that has added greatly to my family tree. I have also found cousins through this site that I would never have known about otherwise. Going through the illness of my father and his eventual passing I have had tremendous support from a lovely group of people including yourself, Colin. As the so-called 'strong one' in the family the burden has been difficult at times, so this support has been wonderful because I can 'let go'. I do agree also with Paul in that we are all adults and it is really up to the individual as to whether they renew or not and for what reasons. A happy, healthy and peaceful New Year to everyone. Susan xx

I think there is room enough for everyone on the boards. We all pay so we all have the right to post as long as we are not attacking anyone else or being offensive. Anyone that is will be dealt with by Genes Reunited with any luck. Let's hope for a peaceful and happy 2007 xx

This thread is a great idea, and I thank you Colin for taking the trouble to put the thread up. :-) I am one of those seriously thinking of not renewing next week, but I'm still unsure of what to do. This is because I've come into contact with several cousins on here that otherwise I wouldn't have. I remember September so well, and things that have happened before then, and since. As an aside, I've got to go for the time being, as we have guests (only popped on for a few minutes), so see you all tomorrow, probably. x

Colin, For some people it has just got too much and I can sympathise with them. I've never been attacked on the boards, although I haven't always got on with everyone. My choice, in general, is to avoid those I believe are here just to cause trouble, especially those whose avowed intent was get others thrown off. I'm still not sure how I avoided the purge of last Seotember when GR made a lot of bad decisions. I certainly said how I felt at the time. However, GR have tried to put that right, especially with Jess, but for some it is too little too late. I've seen at first hand the misery some people have caused and I'm not sure I'd want to linger if they had started on me. Like you say you are, Colin, I am always on the side of fairness. I was taught to stand up to bullies and to help those who you see being bullied and I shall continue to do so. I'm not going anywhere. Gwynne 'Tell me thy company, and I'll tell thee what thou art.' Miguel De Cervantes

Hi Linda :):) I think for me it is the sadness of the whole thing that sometimes gets to me. Ive known many good people in my my time here, many I keep in contact with also even if they are no longer here. When I first joined Genes there was this air of knowing that if a disruption was to take place it would soon be sorted out and also that people were not prepared to allow the troubles to take hold. None of us really answered a thread that was or seemed contentious, if we did it was generally to say the matter had been reported to Genes. Within only a short while the person was no longer on Genes and we went about our normal community life again. Sadly now it seems that this is not the case, people are always ready to jump on something, reports going into Genes are rarely acted upon in a way that stops the escalation and it seems that even Genes themselves cannot find a real solution to all of this. Personally and this is just the way I am, if I see an argument I would request all parties not to have contact with each other until the situation is sorted out one way or the other. At least keeping it off the site itself. All of this though for me makes me think of those real reasons I enjoy the site so much and why I am here, the help that others can gain by staying. Hi Paul I have to agree with you that respect of a persons decisions of leaving should very much be respected and I really do wish all who do leave all the very best with wherever they choose to be and may they find the peace they seek. Colin :):)

Hi Colin, Just to say that I do agree with what you say, and also Jacqui. I am sure that the reason for the big problems in September was, as Elaine says, the failure of GR to listen to their members and react regarding having more than one membership name. I do wonder if we know what, if any, problems GR Admin had when GR was sold out to ITV. I know from experience that when large conglomerates take over small firms the staff often suffer in some way. Maybe there are new rules regarding taking decisions, maybe eerything has to go up to ITV managers, maybe the admin staff are them selves disillusioned and are unable to say. who knows? Personally I feel (and I can only speak how I find from what I know) people who were at the forefront of causing hurt and upset in September, didn't realise the ongoing effect their behaviour was going to cause. I also sense that at least some of them have moderated their behaviour and are joining in more in the normal threads. Maybe we should give them a chance. I know for those who have been targetted it is not easy to 'turn the other cheek' yet again, but could we at least try? I do realise this is asking a lot and I also realise that I have not suffered at all at the hands of anyone on here. Is it asking too much do you think? Ann Glos

I will renew Colin, yes there have been ups and downs in the 7 months I have been a member but I love it here and as in real life there are problems but the good out weighs the bad, The support I have found on here has been amazing and very touching, Caz xxx

Not much to add to what's already been said, but I will just say that - we're all adults, and we all make our own decisions. If someone decides the time has come to leave/not renew, for whatever reason, then we should respect that decision (as much as we'd like some of them to stay). My memberships is up for renewal in April - although I'm not as fond of the site as I was a while back, I have little doubt that I'll renew.

Hi Elaine I agree with you, it is the failure to act at these critical times which has left the site in the position it is in now. I also agree that these multi log ins should be stopped unless they are genuine and needed log ins for trees etc. All things that have been requested so many times and things that I really do hope that Genes act upon as a serious part of continuation of Genes itself. Colin

Ditto, Elaine ... :-) [ ... not forgetting the multiple-log-in people ]

I have just had a PM come in which asked me if I worked for Genes lol The answer to that is a definite No :) I am and always will be a people person :) Just thought I would like to clear that up :) Colin :):)

I think, personally if GR had monitored the situation some months back and took those who were out to ruin this site to task (Gr were warned back in May) then the situation wouldnt have reached critical levels in September....leading to the wrong people getting suspended leaving those who instigated it all wringing their hands in glee and since then doing their utmost to spoil whats left of the general board. I'm sure the attacks will continue, until GR stop people rejoining gr under false names, and under different email addresses when they are banned or suspended from Gr....as proved very recently. Still Regardless of the muck ive had thrown at me recently im not going, they wont win, so they can stuff their necks in their ...lalalalala ......scarves ...and go take a long walk off a short pier Elaine x :o))

I couldn't bring myself to leave as through the site I have been in touch with at least 7 second cousins that I never knew existed so I shall hang around just in case a few more are lurking out there to be met. Jacky :-))

Hi Colin my membership is up for renewal in a couple of weeks and I shall be paying it. I have had some great info through this site and made some good friends. I recommend it to others because it is not fair not to give them the chance to see what it offers I have not had any negative vibes and usually miss any upset so I will carry on. Janet

Hi Jacky :) You are so right in that storms have always been a part of GR although not on the scale of those seen. We have been members here for a long time and seen many of those storms pass us by and handled each situation has it happened. Back in the days when Genes could really be approached things were also sorted much quicker. Hopefully and I am forever hopeful that Genes will look in or be made aware of this thread and also have a re think of the way things are going and act accordingly on it. Colin

I won't be renewing Colin, although I'm paid up until August, there are some brilliant sites out there which are more user friendly (in more ways than one) than this one is. I could name two straight away .... but I won't :-))

Hi Trish :):) I think Genes can be the site it once was again. Other sites manage it. Genes have just lost the member first approach that they had in those early days. Colin