General Chat

The day may be hard for you but it is vital that your living children are your first priority. If you are not very careful they may get the idea that they are not as good and they can never live up to the son you have lost. If their desire to honour you as their mother has to come second to your grief then I fear you may drive a wedge between you and them. The living must always come first in a situation like this. So I think you will have to be as strong as you can and hide your sorrow for a few hours. Sue

Your loss was tragic, but it is important that you let your other children know that you care for them as well. Don't make them feel that they matter less to you than their brother did. Reg

No, please let your children give you what they want - and you, please accept them for yourself NOT for passing on to Stephen. Its their time to remember you as their wonderful mother - not your worry , this occasion, to save them money. Its hard, but it will get easier, Ann

Going to be the hardest day of my life, if that is possible, where do I go from here? Sorry now o/h sayin time for bed-bloody heck!

I think your living children come first here. They will want it to be a happy day for you and may wish to spoil you. I am sure your son would understand. You can remember him every day. If it were me I'd postpone my plans and try not to let any particular date on the calendar become one to mourn. Spend the day with your other children then when you are quiet light a candle for your son, tell him you love him and sort out his grave another time. Sue

Other children may have already planned to spend time with you. Could you do the bulk of the work to Stephen's grave in advance, so that perhaps you could just visit and place flowers on the actual day, so spending most of the day with your other children? Jay

Jennifer. I think it is a day for the living. It will be a hard time for you though. Gerry :-))

Tha plan was, to save them money, each of them give me six plants, and just tell me the colour, and I would go to the grave early, plant them out, colour co-ordinated, and then celebrate his life, now I find it is Mothers Day-b....y h..l

yea, but, meant so much to me, now utterly lost. do not know where to turn, wanted it so much to be Stephens day-now what?????? I will have to expect flowers, cards etc. but can I face them and smile?

Hard one although if life is for the living maybe you should go with what the other 4 want - you are after all their mother too. you can replant the grave anyday, maybe the day before even

Just discovered Mothers Day is March 18th-the same day I lost my Stephen, had plans, took annual leave, was gonna spend ther day replanting Stephens grave-should I still do that-or what-got four other kids to consider-sods law or what? help please.