General Chat

to find 5 minutes a day to phone your kids????? I am getting sooo mad with ex - 'I'll ring again tomorrow' - yeah right! When he said that on Saturday I said that it would be nice if he did cos I thought the kids would be happier if he did phone every day. Guess what .... he ain't called them since. If I'm not careful I'm going to end up having a row with him and I know I'll come off worse cos I'm so crap at arguing. GRRRRRRRRR !!! Maz. XX (needed to get it off me chest!)

Jackie - that's exactly right - the sun shines out of his .... and I am the one they take it out on. Jilly - I'm waiting for that day to come lol but in the meantime it doesn't help them one little bit! He has been in Moscow for the last 18 months and they are always convinced he is coming back to the UK to live - however all the signs are that he won't be. They see him every 2-4 weeks for a weekend - not enough in my opinion, but not a lot I can do about it. Maz. XX

maz...i'm waiting on the day when my kids TELL him what they think of him!!! and I know that day will come one day....they're still too wee to be able to voice that at the moment...but believe you me I'll be there with bells on taking piccies of the event and will frame the picture!!!!! lolol

I know how you feel hun, sometimes its like talking to a brick wall and then when they do finally see the kids they are wonderful and the parent always there for them is the evil one. Jackiexx

Maz ..my ex never phones his kids....he sees them every second weekend (his choice) and other than picking them up on the friday evening and bringing them home again on the sunday evening he has no contact with them in between!! I'm long past fighting him to call them....they now see him for what he is!

a friend of mine has 2 boys 13 and 17 and they are only just seeing their dad for the useless waste of space that he is (and has been all their lives!) - so don't hold yer breath lol Maz. XX

Hmm this is sounding so familiar...

my son always has and probably alwasy will strive to get affection from his father......the middle daughter cant stand him and doesnt like going to his every other weekend...and the wee one is still a bit too young to quite get it all yet..... If any of them ever say anything to him I reckon its likely to be the middle one!! she doesnt suffer fools gladly and I would imagine that she will say something to him one day.....either that or she will just cut contact with him herself..... thou my divorce isnt actually through yet I'm thinking of reverting to my maiden name.....and the kids have said they all want to change their name too!! oh boy I can see that one going down well right enough!! lolol

Jilly, the only thing I worry about is that if they say summat to him, he will think I have put them up to it. I don't bad mouth him - in fact I am sick of biting my tongue! But of course he turns everything round to make himself the hard-done-by one. Maz. XX

i worried about that too maz...but I dont bad mouth him in front of the kids and if they were to say anything to him, then the way they actually said it - in their own words - would show him that i havent put words into their mouths.... my kids are 12, 10 and 7...how old are yours?? I'm always biting my tongue about him.....parents evenings are coming up again and school reports....in the 4 years nearly that we have been apart you know he has never been at a parents night, school meeting or even read or asked to read a report. He has no earthly idea of what they are doing or how they are getting on with school unless I give him the information...he has no idea of who their friends are or what they do on a daily basis....or their after school activities etc.......he's a complete waste of space!! in fact in hindsight all he has done right is provide me with my wonderful children in the first place so for that i'm obviously thankful!!

yes Butterfly - there ARE some nice men out there, but they seem few and far between lol Maz. XX

Jilly, Charlotte is nearly 11 and Jamie is 9. I give him all the reports etc to read, but he is rarely here during the week so can't come to any of the parents evenings or to see secondary schools (although he had an opinion of course!) or rarely to any of their concerts/assemblies. His solution to everything is presents. Great for them, but not for me when he buys a hamster - errrr who has to clean it?! - or a mobile - errrr who has to top it up?! - both against my wishes. Then of course he can afford to take them for a nice holiday abroad - but it's me who has to run round buying their clothes and toiletries and packing their bags and doing the washing afterwards. When he does have them for the weekend it's at his mum and dad's so he doesn't have to do much 'looking after'. He even managed to find another family to team up with on holiday last year so he could dump Jamie and take Charlotte scuba diving (supposedly for HER benefit!). I'm in a ranting mood today pmsl!!! Maz. XX

Well ladies when my eldest was about 15/16 she finally started telling her dad that he does not see them enough and they need him to be more like a dad not just an uncle they see from time to time, the difference has been nothing short of amazing, he phones and texts them all the time, is now taking an interest in what they are doing, makes time for them and at last puts his hands in his pockets to help get them the stuff they need. About the same time she realised that I have been there for her throughout everything in her life and we are now really close.the younger 2 haven't got there yet but I live in hope. So there is hope, keep your chins up. Jackiexx

Thanks Jackie - I do hold onto that hope! I hate to say it, but I actually feel sorry for him - he's missing out on so much and it's so unnecessary. He could easily get a job and a flat/house here IF HE PUT HIMSELF OUT a bit. But he won't, and he is missing out as much as the kids are. Maz. XX

men dont have the same feeling as a woman let him get on with it its his loss not yours

lol Jackie!! woohoooo there is hope!!! my ex dont even take the kids on holiday anywhere!! he has been to florida the last two years and didnt take them....they pulled him up on that one!!! he has promised them he is taking them camping at the beginning of may so watch this space!!! lol I need to go out now but I will check this thread out again later on to see what other comments have been made.. bye for now xxx

I hate to see the kids upset and missing him like they do Joy :-( it's just not fair on them. When they are with him for the weekend I ring every day - no matter what I'm doing - I know men are different, but it's still not fair! Maz. XX

Hi Maz i guess my kids have been lucky, they see their dad every weekend and he keeps in touch all the time. I felt guilty at splitting them up but its turned out ok.

The dad of my eldest 3 lives in the same town and has allowed his wife to destroy each relationship in turn with his kids, TThey dont want to know him and he deserves it,but it has damaged them Caz x

Maz, When they get to be fully consenting adults it gets even worse. My eldest lives 30 miles away, has driven a lorry all the way to Greece, Spain, Germany etc etc. but for some reason he is not able to negotiate the A12 !!!! The worse thing is when I do see him he says...'Be over to see you next week Ma'.....Only thing is he does not tell me which year. Kathlyn