General Chat

My Dad died in March 1983 age 54, same age as me now. Still feels like yesterday, can remember every minute. He held my youngest son only once, four weeks old, too weak to hold any longer than ten minutes. My daughter (born 1994) would have loved him - they are very much alike. I could always twist him around my little finger, much to my Mum's disgust probably. Knew how to 'work him' - got my dog that way. lol. He was a bus driver and I used to wait up for him when he was on the last bus - shared his supper of roast ham cobs, as opposed to boiled ham, with BUTTER (we only got 'Stork'). Shared smutty jokes as I got older but not in front of Mum !! My sisters and I, along with Mum went to his grave on the anniversary of his death this month, two days after finding out that my Mum has been diagnosed with cancer of the colon. Miss you loads Dad, still can't listen to Jim Reeves or Johnny Cash (who would want to!!) without crying. Wont give up my Mum withought a fight though!! There are loads of things about my Dad, such as him parking his bus outside my house when he was running early, for a brew. Hanging his teeth out of the bus window when I was with my mates when I was about 15. Love you Dad. You were and always wil be my bezzy. Libby x

My Dad passed away on Friday. I have so many memories and reading some of your words on here...... God i miss him.. Alyson

nudge because this is so lovely reading about dads and how much they mean to us all.x

my dad he was everything to me he was 43 when i was born and my mum 32 but she rejected me as she wanted aboy and she had two breakdowns because of having ababy girl,so from the age one one i went everywere with my dad even to work as he was night watchman,he took me for all my clothes to get photos taken when i was 9mth ,even took me to see the queen getting crown and then one day in june my live fell apart,i had being playing out with friends and i had to be in for 7 as iwas just going on 14,the house was in darkness i knew my mum had gone to see if she could get ajob,so i lit the light and there on the floor was my dad he was bleeding form the mounth so i knock on the next door niebours and sak if she would stay with dad while i got docter but the was no reply so i phones amberlance to take him to hospital, my mum came back and we both went the hospital were he died two hours later he had astroke and other things and thats when i knew i had lost not only my dad but my best friend as never realy had any closeness with my mum good night dad i never have forgotton you in the 53yrs youve been gone joyce from holland

my dad died dec 2006. he saw both of my sons though. anyhow, he was very strict but i knew how to get what i wanted and get away with anything i did or wanted too. which really annoyed my sister as no was no was final answer to her. i dont know if this is because i was a manipulative little cow when younger or because i was the youngest child, or whether it was cos he wanted peace and quiet!!!! he adored both of my kids and spoilt them rotten, he would pay for anything frrom a 10p pack of sweets to paying my mortage when i hadnt been paid. he couldnt do much physically with me (playing tennis etc ) as he was disabled. we all iss him sooooo much. xxx

My Step Dad ( to me he is Dad).....he was a monkey for filling up with petrol, always leaving it to the last possible moment. When my Mum went into labour with my brother........we took her to the hospital and Mum said, i bet you didnt fill up with petrol......course i did says Dad.........anyway, he took me to my Grans once mum was safely at the hospital........on the way to Grans,he said....dont tell Mum we almost didnt make it and with that we cruised into the petrol station, he was so lucky as he had run out of petrol! Took him a while to admit it to Mum lol. Such a great Dad he is. Donna xx

My Dad IS lovely... he will be 75 this year This is just one simple tale but it's one I remember with humour in my heart... My Dad well... he tries to be tough but underneath he is a real softie. I can remember probably when I was about 10, he was trying to tell me off about something.. Now I was a good girl usually and did as I was told but...We had a big dining table in the middle of a rather large dining room... and because he was one side of the table and I was the other, I decided to be a bit brave and answer back. Of course he was very cross and decided to come round the table to give me 'what for' but I just ran around to the other side. The more he chased me.... the more I ran around the table - you get the picture. He became so frustrated that he just started to laugh and said -'I just can't stay mad at you chasing you around the table!' I still have a chuckle about it to this day. I suppose you had to be there but it was very funny at the time. Gaynor :-)))

My dad was an ordinary man and when I was young I just accepted him for who he was. Basically he was just Dad, he went to work in the morning, came home in the evening and was happy enough to spend time with his family. His one passion was football; he played football when he was young, managed youth teams when my brother played and finally became a referee for the local minor leagues. Football was the 2nd greatest love of his life, the 1st being his family, to whom he was dedicated. When Dad became ill in 1982, I was expecting his first grandchild and the 2 of us would spend a lot of time together and I would go with him to all his hospital appointments and when he was feeling weak I would drive him anywhere. The day he was told he had the big C I couldn't be with him as I was in hospital myself with pregnancy problems so he was on his own when he was told. Dad was in hospital when I gave birth to my daughter but the doctor allowed him to come and visit me and as it was Easter he brought the biggest Easter egg he could find. It was in a huge wicker basket with brandy liquer chocolates. Dad spent most of the next year in hospital but I would visit him most days and when able I would take my daughter even when I had to drive into London. On his 52nd birthday I took my daughter to visit him in the hospital and we had cream cakes and tea to celebrate. I remember Dad walking her round the ward with pride as he showed her off to staff and patients. This is the Dad I remember; the loving Dad and grandfather. He never shouted and never belittled us but stood by us through everything we did. He taught us the true values of family life by being who he was. Sadly Dad lost his fight for life 5 days after his birthday in 1984 and it was only then that I realised what sort of man he was. His obituary was a half page spread in the local newspaper recalling his work for local youth football. Flowers were delivered from football leagues and local clubs and representatives attended the funeral. Even now when we mention his name someone will say 'I remember him' and it's always to do with football. To us he will always be just Dad and after 23 years I still love and miss him.

This is a lovely thread - maybe we can keep it nudged till Father's Day? So many wonderful memories.

My dad is 87 now and last January 2006 we nearly lost him, he took ill with pneumonia and water infection, one afternoon I took a day off work so mum could go out for break, while mum was out dad god love him wet himself so I took him in the bedroom and changed him, as I was putting his slippers back on his feet he said to me 'I use to put your slippers on like that when you were a little girl' the lump shot up to my throat and I could have cried buckets. Dad was rushed to hospital that night, the doctors told us it was 50/50 but he survived and recovered. He wasnt a strict father but a firm one and always told me as a small child 'take care of number 1 and yourself is always number 1'. We even speak a special language together which gets on mums nerves as she doesnt know what were talking about. Dads are so special and I love him to bits. Yvonne xx

My dad was a 'new' man before the term was ever thought of. He would come home from his night shift on a Sunday morning, cook us five kids and mum a full English and bring it to us on trays to eat in bed. He would then prepare the veg, and put the roast in the oven before then going to bed for a few hours. He always did far more for us than any of my friends father's did...this was in the 70's...

My Dad was a very caring person.He always had a thing about older people,especially his mother after his dad died in 1945.He had 2 sisters and 2 brothers,and one sister lived 1 penny bus ride away and hardly went,as my gran got senile dementia,but my dad went 2 bus rides before he went to work,and after work to cook her a meal and see everything was OK.This is the only time I remember listening to my mum and dad having an argument,and she had a point,as she said that I was in bed when he went off in a morning and was in bed when he came home at night.His reply was that you only have one mother! The fact that neither of his sisters bothered really did hurt him.His youngest brother was in the forces and his older brother lived in another town. He eventually got a companion in to live with her as he wouldn't have her put in a home(they were like institutions in those days). His father had told my mother when she married him that he was 'the flower of the flock'.How true that was! He was a strict father,even though I was an only child.I had my jobs to do,and if I was sitting in his chair,I immediately got up when he came into the room. We always sat at the kitchen table for meals,and it was my job to wash up.He never hit me,but threatened many a time with the buckle end of the strap,and one time chased me up the stairs,hitting it on every stair,because I wouldn't take my Syrup of Figs(it was a bad batch and must have gone off!!!)The old fashioned Friday night ritual! He was a wonderful carpenter,having had 7 years apprenticeship,but he was in a horrific train crash in 1953,where 10 people were killed in the same compartment after the train plunged into a river.He had a broken shoulder blade and collar bone,but the trauma to his mind,meant that he didn't work for over 2 years,and my mother was waiting for me to come home to hand over my wage packet,and I got half a crown back for spends! He eventually got a job working in a big park,where it was quiet,and as he loved gardening,it was ideal. He carried my mother about!She had rheumatoid arthritis,and he would say when any problems came up 'I'll sort it'. When he retired he got up at the same time and went off doing voluntary social work for 'old people' and he would come home on the dot of 1 o'clock for his dinner,and fall asleep.He got sacked (from a voluntary job!) with the Cripples Aid Society,for doing too much,but that didn't stop him going to see them and doing their shopping etc. It was this voluntary work that eventually killed him. On a cold February day he was going to one of his old ladies with some meat,and the car was icy,so he started the engine,and getting the ice off,the car moved and he must have strained himself trying to steer it away from a house and it went into a wall.He said he had hurt his back,and Mum called the doctor,who said he must have bed rest.I lived 3 hrs away at that time,and my daughter was in hospital having gone into labour early.She had a 30 week 2lb boy,and she had pneumonia.I was going to see her at visiting time,but I said 'I'll just see my dad before I go' I was talking to him,and saw him go purple in the face,and he died whilst I was there with him.He was 74. He'd just been made a g.granddad,and only saw a photo of a little baby covered in tubes! That was all in 1980,and my mum,who had suffered most of her life,died nearly 3 years ago aged 92. Yes my dad was a very good man,very thoughtful for others,and thought he'd go on forever,as he walked a lot,and kept fit. I get sad for children today, a lot of whom,do not know their fathers.I may be old fashioned,but I think they miss out without a father's influence in the home. Brenda

These are memories of my life... Points of pleasure, scars of strife. Some from giving, and some from need. None from hating, and none from greed... When heroes fall, or fathers cry, When a tear appears in a mother's eye, The soulful keening of the Western Wind For the loss of a precious friend. Like a seed that's never sown, Like a hermit living all alone, Like a house that's never home, More's the loss of a love unknown. I'm like a note in a bottle on the sea, A question mark in a mystery, A rambling soul in eternity, Always wandering but never free. These are memories of my life... Points of pleasure, scars of strife. Like a mule packs a heavy load, I sing a song of the open road... When heroes fall, or fathers cry, When a tear appears in a mother's eye, The soulful keening of the Western Wind For the loss of a precious friend. Like a baby yearns for a warm embrace, I search the world for a special place. Like a gentle rain on a summer's day. These are memories of my life... Born from darkness, gleaned from light. They cost me dearly yet they all were free, Like the setting sun on a mountain seat... When heroes fall, or fathers cry, When a tear appears in a mother's eye, The soulful keening of the Western Wind For the loss of a precious friend. And when my time has all been spent, Sing for me no sad lament. I'm like a thought that's here and gone, And like the breeze, I'm moving on. These are memories of my life... Clouds of darkness and beams of light. They touched me dearly and they all were free. Just like the love you shared with me... When heroes fall, or fathers cry, When a tear appears in a mother's eye, The soulful keening of the Western Wind For the loss of a precious friend. Author Unknown

Being second youngest of 10 children, being born on Fathers Day, and given the name Laurel by my Dad as he was resting on his Laurels at my birth, I always knew we had a special relationship. Elder siblings tell of an angry Dad that came home from the war, but I never knew that side of him. He was very strict, manners and respect for elders . . were the most important thing in his eyes, and I think we did him proud. Although we were a big family, we had a front door that was never closed to anyone, and there were always many more than just family at the dinner table. Dad brought a combivan in 1970, and I was enlisted to help him do some renos to it for him and Mum to set of on an around Australia trip. We needed to put bigger, stronger springs under her and I got the job under the van, with Dad watching giving instructions. OH was in Vietnam so I took 2 weeks leave to go home and help. It was the funniest time, and one that gave Dad & I many laughs - both of us stuborn as ox, both knew better than the other - he did, I thought I did!! We got the job done, but I am sure anyone writting a comedy script would have got a lot of material had they been listening, my poor Mum spent her time doubled up in agony from laughing at us. Right to the end if he wanted to make me laugh he would say 'Pass me the wrench, wench' The last few years, before Dad died, they were special too . . . he relied on me, trusted me, and respected my judgement - little things that bring me great comfort. The most important lessons learnt from my Dad were love & respect ;- parent/child, husband/wife, family, friends, country, nature, and all the while being a total larakin! Bugger you Tony . . . but many thanks too . . . luv Laurie xo

My dad 1926 - 1994 was away at sea a lot (Fleet Air Arm), but he never liked living in married quarters, so he'd find a home for the family - then go to sea, which is why we ended up living in such diverse habitations as a windmill, converted bus in the middle of a field and various caravans!! When I was 10 he came out of the servces, we moved to Cornwall where he ran a fish factory. This wasn't enough for him so we moved again and he got a job in Saudi Arabia, where he learnt Arabic, and converted to Islam. As well as his job, he taught religion (the true Islam) and helped out in Riyadh zoo - trying to get the animals in more humane enclosures etc. At this time he would bring home the odd 'lonely' animal,, desert foxes are cute and taking a cheetah for a walk is an incredible experience - people soon move out of the way!! lol I think it's true to say my dad loved animals more than humans, a trait I think I have inherited - animals don't lie or put on false airs like some humans do. Dad tried to be strict, but there were many ways around him lol. - He expected us to be polite and respect our fellow man, but also taught us that there are fools and bigots in all walks of life, but it was our job to make them see the error of their ways. After Saudi Arabia, mum & dad split up and he became a boat pilot on a river in Nigeria. this was okay for 2 years, then he accidently killed a pirate (there are lots in Nigeria) and this devastated him, as, despite what you read in the papers, for a true believer of Islam to kill a man is one of the greatest sins. He came back to England and (possibly to appease the sin) did voluntary work in the local hospital with head injury patients, and filled his flat with feral cats from rescue centres that no-one else wanted. When he was dying, these cats all died, apart from Peter, who slept on his bed while dad was in a coma, and died 2 hours after dad. Dad was proud of his children - he said we could talk to kings and beggars equally, which was what he wanted for us - no bigotry and no subservience!! He loved us but wasn't very tactile with us, his children, but when my children cuddled him, he admitted it was the best feeling ever, and he wished he had cuddled us more. My dad was a very profound man of great intelligence, depth and amazing humility. I'm still finding out things about him from my elder brothers - little things, like dad was an expert in unarmed combat!! I can feel he's around me now. Love you, dad xxxx maggie

Such lovely memories Thank you all so much. One memory My Dad well he was very special though we were not a family of cuddles it was the small things that you remember. When I was 4/5 my Dad contracted polio this was in the outbreak of the 1950's ( was one of the oldest people in the country to have this he was 42) they were told he would never use his arm again. But he rigged up a pully ( which they copied at the hospital later) and sat each day excerisng his arm. he went back to work after 12 month though was never able to raise his arm as high as most. He did all his own decorating etc and still did his job. People used to say you know you should claim money your are classed as disabled ( in fact his employers had him down as their disabled employee) But he was too proud to accept help of any sort. Can still picture him sat in the chair pulling his arm up and down up and down. People used to say I could wap him round my little finger we think he was softer with me than he would have been as they had lost a little girl in an accident only 2 years before I was born. Though thinking back if my brother had taken the trouble to be at home . Will not go down that road and spoil it. He was so patient with my mum she was in a very bad mental state with losing Pat and it stayed with her all her life, she was lovely when herself but when the demons arrived such hard work. One year they had got me a little bike for Chritsmas I grew to out of it but so missed it so he decorated a friends room for them and they gave him an old bike he painted it up for me good as new was so happy. When I was little and poorly it was always my dad I wanted wouldn't take medicene for my Mum but Dad could get me to take it and Oh if I had a splinter ( how I got so many splinters I will never know) but he had a little pen knife and I would stand and let him scrape it out now that was trust. Yes so many little things going out with him for work to pick things up and us going in a cafe for our dinner Oh loved that. Every Sat he would clean the offices at work for his pocket money and I would go with him we went on his motor bike and he would always be telling me to sit still. Oh happy days I miss my Dad still Germaine x

I never got to know ,or even remember my dad ,who died when i was a year old but mum rckons he was a bit of a lad. She told me that when she was courting he ,[my dad ] was seeing three other girl as well ,and slipped up,letting all the girls turn up at the station to see him off back to the airfield where he was serving. He told mum later ,that when he saw them getting together on the platform ,discretion being the better part of valour,he sat on the floor of the compartment until the train pulled out. She must have forgiven him though because they got married a year later.Fred.

This thread is so lovely and the tears are streaming down my face - my dad died 30 years ago and I still miss him. One thing I will always remember was how he helped me with my maths homework when I was about 14 - I was the only one in the class to get the correct answer - and I told the teacherr my dad had helped me. I always felt sorry for my dad as his father died when he was young and he passed the 11 plus or whatever it was called all those years ago, but his mom could not afford to send him to the grammar school. God bless dad Love Mary xx

Although my parents never parted, I never really knew my Dad until my Mum had her first stroke in 1997. My Dad & I became closer as he then relied on me to do certain things for them. My Mum died in August 2003 & my Dad & I have become closer through the loss of Mum. Last year when I was ill & thought to have a brain tumour, my Dad (along with my OH & kids) was there to pull me through the hard times - he was with me when I was told by the consultant how seriously ill I was. Dad has been there when I've needed him since I took ill - he has been my helper, chauffeur to appointments & helped with the kids - despite being almost 75. At Christmas he gave me a little plaque which I keep beside the computer - it reads 'I celebrate the daughter you've been and the friend you've become.' I'd be lost without him. Ails x

my dad died in 1985 when i was 9 and i love him with all my heart luckily i still have memories of him sundays when he used to come back from having a pint me and my brother used to curl up on sofa with him,we used to lie at the bottom of his legs