General Chat

Nite nite all i'm off to bed soon

Babs, You're right! Sadly, it's not only stupid people, but it often appears to be nice people, who are naively replying to what seems like a genuine apology for previous bad behaviour, in order to provide what they think is comfort or support for the 'remorseful' poster. You'll notice that by about reply number 12, the whole of the previous (by now forgotten) trouble is being discussed once again and people who knew nothing about the original problem are asking to be filled in - surprise, surprise! Exactly what the poster wanted! I'm not saying that all apologies are insincere, but if the poster wants to say sorry for some offence they have given, it's best if they make a simple, concise statement, say it is to be read only and ask that no replies be posted. That way, it won't all be raked over again and more distress caused. As someone said on another thread, it's so sad that people are in such need of so much attention.

Babs i agree with that and well put too

Ron, Not only CAN'T carry it out, but wouldn't want to. I now think that some people only log on to provoke trouble and for no other reason. Others, despite expressing disapproval, are loving every minute of it. In fact, they are often the ones who resurrect arguments that have calmed down. I really do think that ignoring people will make them stop. The only people who respond to them will be people of a similar inclination and that's fine as they can go to a corner and argue amongst themselves.

Amanda, yes very true what you have wrote but,,,,,we have tried that in the past and nudged nice threads up to get a bad one of the front page and you will just think yes and relax then someone stupid will add to it;;;hence the need for mods to delete any troublesome thread straight away;; Babs

Amanda while i agree with what you say, not all people can carryout the advise you give. If they could then the problem would not be here and this thread would not be needed, as i would not be able to say whats in the header. I would just as much as you would like to see this site be a happy and safe site to use again.

Joy you make a good point and i agree treat everybody the same.

as much as i,d like moderators,we dont need them.if genes were to stick to there rules.and make EVERYONE stick to those rules. if it says no swearing and someone swears 4 weeks suspension.not allowing one and suspendeing another.teat everyone the same. genes have a list of basic replies.they press the button,and answer that way.they cant even answer properly.

Ron, I'll rephrase what I said: I'm not sure how many people are registered to this site, but the fact remains that only a minority of them use the General Topics board. I don't doubt for a moment that some people find this board a great support and comfort but I do doubt that GR would think it worthwhile employing moderators - which is not to say that this board doesn't need them. Incidentally I'd be very happy to be contradicted by GR on this matter. But the fact remains that if everyone who regularly uses this board didn't renew their membership next year I don't think GR or ITV would go bankrupt.

Although I've been a member since 2004 I didn't really look at the boards until a couple of months ago. Even within that short space of time I have noticed this general board deteriorate with each passing day and I have noticed the number of posters gradually reduce. In fact, the general board, to all intents and purposes, is now almost like a separate website and bears no resemblance to the rest of GR. It's rare to find people from any of the other boards posting on here these days, unless they're using different IDs. There is a simple way of avoiding threads getting out of hand and people getting victimised and bullied. It doesn't require any moderation, any checking into people's credit card details or any checking into computer Ips. It's this simple: If anyone posts anything on a thread that even hints at nastiness, whether direct or indirect, at anyone else, DON'T ADD A SINGLE REPLY TO IT. Even if the temptation is there to add something nice in someone's defence, or to express a positive thought or even to discourage the poster from carrying on in that manner - DON'T! It is just supplying fuel for the flames. Make the thread stop there and then by just letting it slip quietly down the board. Within two hours it will be on page two and by the next day it will be so far back that nobody will know it exists. It will only stay up on page one if someone intends it to be there and they will reveal their purpose by nudging or adding to it. I don't know any of the main contributors to this board, but from my occasional scanning, even I can see who's out to cause trouble. Some people even disguise it by starting a thread with an innocuous or even nice sounding comment that is really there to draw people in so that the real trouble can begin. When the argument threads have slipped away, you can guarantee that someone itching for a revival will start a new thread referring back to a previous argument. It might even be disguised as an apology, but its purpose is clear. DON'T reply and it will quietly go away! Psychologists say that people who need attention would rather have negative attention than none at all. A child knows that even if she is wicked and is sent to her room, mum and dad will later come up and there will be 'sorry' and hugs all round: attention she wouldn't have had if she hadn't been bad! A bit like some of the people on this board really. Don't reward them. They will stop if nobody pays any attention. Make the board a nice place to visit again.

Added by Sheila in West Wiltshire on 17/05/2007 23:07:46 I have to agree with Bendy on this one. I think it's sad that this forum has reached the stage where moderators are seen as the only answer. I would much much prefer 'self moderation'. Also how can one ensure that moderators are unbiased and fair? If they are seen to be biased and unfair then a new one can be found in no time and the unfair or biased one can be removed. I bet a few members would do the job fairly.

I have to agree with Bendy on this one. I think it's sad that this forum has reached the stage where moderators are seen as the only answer. I would much much prefer 'self moderation'. Also how can one ensure that moderators are unbiased and fair?

Borobabs Lets hope they do, do something like, put a few Modarators on here, as the members want them now not two days befor GR decide enough is enough. The members have had enough now.

Ron think they have decided to do something tonight, and good on them just a pity they dont work there fingers a bit quicker ;; so maybe just one instead of a couple ;;; Babs

Borababs Deb and Blondie Nearly everybody on this site agree's MODERATORS are needed badly on this site. So i have a question for GR WHY wont you put Moderators on this site after seeing so many members request them for so long? GR please put your reply on this thread for all to see.

GR can't be held responsible for the type of people that join and post. ALL members are personally responsible for everything they say and do. If anyone has so little self control they can be 'goaded' into acting in a manner that is likely to get them into trouble or offend others they need to rethink their suitability to belong to any internet forum. No-one can force us to behave in a manner that will cause distress to others. Less blame and more mea culpa.

i would say if you ban one for swearing ban all that swear a lot of unrest just on this subject alone at the moment , im pretty iillerite but i dont swear would be easyier for me to do it sometimes i wouldnt have so much steam comming out me head i think people are getting annoyed gr said to someone today if you see goading ignore it why dont they deklete it , any way im supposed to be in my basket

Ron, Have to say I agree with all the others Moderators 24/7 is the only way all this silly and sometimes nasty backbiting and fighting can be controlled, just a pity GR wont do it ;;; Babs

agree about the moderators, all other sites I belong to have mods 24/7, mind some of them are personal chat sites. OH is a mod for three different sites as he's a night owl. Most of the sites that are well moderated seem to be in it for the fun of the site rather than the monies it generates thou.

Added by Fiona aka Ruby on 17/05/2007 22:00:24 I know that this has been said before by different people on different threads, but the General Topics Board is not an important part of the GR site and the vast majority of members never use it. Sorry Ruby but i disagree and think many of the members use the topic boards, and as for it not being important to some members it can be the only lifeline they have with the outside world due to ill health or what ever reason. What may not be important to you dose not mean it's not important to others.