General Chat

There was no way of following it up then, it is still not illegal!

So often, those who have come from loving supportive families, fail to comprehend the misery of the child who does not.

I have boiled inwardly as I have listened to people publicly psychologically abusing their children when I have had no way of helping that child.

I have been known to say very loudly " What sort of mother would stand by and allow their child to be treated like that?!"

My aunt did once tackle my mother when I went to her house semi-hysterical following one of her performances. Did I suffer for that one! Going round Aunty's making people think what a poor little bugger you are.

But did the person who you told follow it up Sharron?

When it is 'just' a total lack of emotion support what is there to to tell?

I am sure it would have come out in conversation with me. I can remember telling somebody that I couldn't tell them what my mum called me because it was too rude.

She had taken to calling me slut at the time. I think I was seven.

How would emotional abuse of a child come to light though?

Children are instinctively loyal to parents, particularly the mother, regardless of behaviour or character. It would be a rare child who questions their lot in life and manages to convey their situation to someone who would believe them and do something to stop the abuse.
How many have only come to realise that 'things weren't the norm' until the mother has become helpless through illness or, indeed, died? Oppression can, and does, go on for decades.

I was not able to hear the debate this morning but have thought that, should emotional abuse become illegal, and I certainly hope it does. then Narcissistic Personality Disorder will finally be taken seriously.

I wouldn't mind betting that childhood obesity rates might decline too.

There might well be a feature on Newsnight tonight.

Did anyone listen to the debate on 5 live this morning that I added re the Cinderella law?

It was very interesting, lot's of different views, on what emotional abuse actually means to different people.

A couple of things made me think more deeply about emotional abuse, a child say brought up in the 40's, who was told they couldn't have anything more to eat until they had eaten what they had in front of them, because certain foods were scarce, would that be considered emotional abuse now, or as an instance Sharron says she was left alone at 8, was this more common up until the late 50's, where children were often out for the day at that age?

Glad to see your thread back again Sharron.

I can empathise, and have now had over twenty years of not having to find a card, without flowery words, that just said "Happy Mother's Day". Anything else just wasn't suitable.

I now know it was the fact that she had (very) early onset Alztheimers that made her so difficult and hard and that from when I was very young she was starting to lose her grip on.reality but when you have a Mother who is constantly telling you that you are useless, or fat or ugly then you begin to believe it.

How many Mothers would dye their ten year old daughter's hair blond because it had darkened with age and wasn't such a pretty colour any more ?

Funnily, my sister, who has always been very dark, never had the same treatment that I did and had a very different childhood.She is also a lot younger than me, and my brother, well he was a boy and disabled so was treated very differently as well.

I had a lovely Mother's Day yesterday with some of my children, two couldn't make it home, but rang and sent flowers, and I was thoroughly spoiled.

Lovely as that was,I do also feel there is far too much hype about such days they have become far too commercialised and where did Father's Day come from, we never had that one when I was a kid !!!

M.

Sharron - Just read the OP - nothing there that would upset anyone - unless it was RR'd by someone like your mother and mine.

I know Wend, but she is only calling you what everybody else does!

The interesting thing is that your grandmother, who had been badly treated, chose to behave in the same way, whereas you determined to learn and differ from the behaviour.

My own experience was similar. Fred's excellent mother looked after me while my own was doing anything she could rather than care for her own child. Sadly, Nan died when I was six but it didn't really suit my mother to be there looking after me so, from that time, I was often left there alone for the day while she did whatever she did.

I can certainly remember being home all day alone when I was eight.

My mother was a wonderful person Sharron, but when she became ill, I was brought up by my maternal grandmother and she was a cruel monster, as her own mother had been towards her :-|

When I had my own 3 children I was determined never to treat them the way I had been and we have had, and continue to have, a very loving relationship, even though my eldest daughter calls me 'Bag'. :-D

Hi Sharron,

Yep. Got it in one. Mothering Sunday is a Christian concept way back from the Middle Ages. It is also known as Refreshment Sunday and the 4th Sunday in Lent. In the Roman Catholic church is was also known as Rose Sunday when the priests purple vestments were replaced by rose coloured ones. (I only discovered that fairly recently and have teased our RC priest friend no end about him wearing pink). :-D

It was also the Sunday chosen to allow workers home to visit their mother church and their mothers.


Mother's Day elsewhere is only about 100 years old. Anna Jarvis was the name of the woman who began it in the States.


Not a clue about Father's Day, but it sure doesn't have any religious significance that I am aware of.....just another marketing ploy! :-S

Ever since she died I have been completely honest about the relationship I had with my mother, to the point of telling people at the time that the sympathy was much more appropriate when I was growing up under her tender care.

It was quite surprising how many people have felt able to confess that their own mothers were very unpleasant as well.

It would be good to think that I had freed a few more from living a lie by posting on here.

Didn't manage to get on to GR this weekend and so have only just read this thread.

Why on earth was it reported?

Everyone is entitled to their own viewpoint and Sharron's is based on her own personal experience so why has anyone else the right to/need to report it?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-26814427


you have my support and understanding Sharron <3

I remember many Mothering Sundays............. I would make a nice breakfast for Mum & take it to her in bed..... close the bedroom door & leave her in peace and quiet.

Then I'd go back to the kitchen and feed a lazy father & 4 lazy brothers.

I don't think Mum ever got a Mother's day breakfast in bed after I left home.

Ann you are so right.

My mother loved me far too much. As an only child I was not allowed to do so many things my friends did. This was the cause of many arguments in my home.
My friends who lived on the same street did not have to be in until 9.30, I had to be in for 8. So if we went anywhere we all had to come home as they would not let me go home on my own for safety (and vice versa). She just did not get it. She drove both me and my dad potty with her totally illogical parenting.

Loved her to bits, but there were times when I had to just walk away or lose it completely.

Miss her and my dad everyday. Things regularly happen which I know we would all laugh about.

But I am not overly sentimental and find some 'Mothers Day' stuff so OTT.

I never got a chance to read the OP - nothing wrong with it at all and sense has prevailed for once - as has been said, not everyone was lucky enough to have a lovely Mum

Of all the 'special' days that we celebrate now.

Only Mothering Sunday and Valentines Day are from way back.

All the others Fathers Day Grandparents and numerous other et al are all the invention of the US greetings card market and we fell for them hook line and sinker.

Hyped is an understatement! :-D

Am I right in thinking that the Christian concept is Mothering Sunday and the commercial aspect is Mother's Day and that Father's Day is purely commercial?

I briefly spotted Sharron's thread had been reported but didn't know what it had said and the rest of the day was too busy for me to pop back. (Day of rest? Don't make me laugh!)

Having now read it, I can't see why anyone would wish to RR it. What Sharron said was personal to her and her sentiments are perfectly acceptable to many of us.

I do get a bit cross when something which, in this country, is essentially a Christian holiday, gets turned into a great OTT commercial money-making exercise which totally ignores the roots of the whole event. There is plenty of info on Google. Mother's Day has a different history in Canada and the US.

I will say though, that the church is very well aware of the shortcomings of many parents. and those who have suffered unhappiness within their family life are not forgotten or ignored on Mothering Sunday, but are remembered in prayer. We don't just pray however, because emotional and practical support is offered too. That's the 'mothering' part of church....caring for and loving the people within the parish.

Good thread Sharron.........keep 'em coming.... :-D