General Chat

Independent Age Charity

We provide an information and advice service for older people, their families and carers, focusing on social care, welfare benefits and befriending services. This is integrated with local support, including one-to-one and group befriending schemes.

http://www.independentage.org/

One thing that has remained with me was something somebody said in a 'letters to editor' in a magazine some years ago. One thing they really missed when getting old that there was nobody left to call them by their name. I suspect that doesn't happen so much these days when there is more familiarity from nurses, etc but it always struck me as sad.

I think the internet is great for those of us who use it. Because of my hearing problems, although I can hear when the phone is on speaker, it is very tiring because people tend to drop their voices occasionally, even if they know you can't hear, so you have to concentrate hard to listen to a conversation. so the Silver Line would probably not be for me, or people like me. the Internet is great because I don't have to rely on speech.

But it is a great idea that somebody has bothered to think about all those who are lonely. I do hope it works. It will need to be publicised well though to get people to phone. and some older people will be too proud to admit that they need somebody to talk to. I don't know how you get around that.

I am thankful that I enjoy being alone, which is different from being lonely. I do wonder how long I will feel this way. I have friends of similar age and one only wants to stop in and watch her favourite tv programs. The other hasn't been out of her bedroom in a few years. She could afford a stair lift but doesn't want to make an effort as her husband takes care of her needs. What happens if he dies? I have tried to put it to her in a gentle sort of a way but nothing seems to motivate her to try other things. I have suggested a lap top but all ideas are rebuffed. Are some lonely people there by their own doing, have they gone through life not making the extra effort to say good morning to others because they didn't need anyone else. Now they are lonely they still expect others making that connection. I would love my children to live near to me, the same as I lived near to my Mum but it isn't going to happen. If I relied on them for company I would be a lonely person. I accept that they have a life which doesn't include me every day. If people don't have some interest in their lives, what are they going to talk about to these callers. In principle it sounds a great idea and I hope it work.

Good morning Det Samaritans will give follow ups with the the permission of the callers by asking if they would like them to call back.

The lonely and elderly Romanians and Bulgarians are more likely to have been left at home in Romania and Bulgaria if their children emigrate to earn more money!

Although the Samaritans is a wonderful organisation, I was under the impression that they waited for the person to phone them, rather than instigate follow up calls. Silverline, according to the TV news programmes, will call back the lonely elderly once a week for a chat.

I'd imagine that there many elderly people living alone who don't want to 'bother' their families for a chat or to tell them how they are feeling. After all, as parents, they still feel they have to be the 'strong' ones and would see it as a weakness to admit that they weren't coping emotionally.

A friendly if anonymous voice on the phone could make all the difference in their lives

What about the lonely and elderly Romanians and Bulgarians who are left behind when their younger family members leave to try and make more money to help them?


It must be awful to have to accept your sons and daughters and maybe grandchildren too will be living many miles away to try and improve their lives. Not every person coming here is out to fleece the system.

Lizx

Let's not overlook the lonely elderly Bulgarian & Romanian nationals who will soon become eligible to live & work in the UK.

You can feel alone in a room full of people. When my husband died I was surrounded by loving friends, family and colleagues. On the first Christmas without him I stayed at my sisters pub. There was no chance of being alone there, especially on New Years Eve which was my husbands favourite time. At midnight when the world was going crazy, I have never felt so alone in my life. <3 <3

When our daughter was having chemo we took her every two weeks to the hospital for her treatment . Both she and I are very talkative and we did get some "looks" some times cos we were laughing and joking with the staff.

We did befriend an elderly lady tho who lived by herself and was brought in by ambulance for her chemo. Poor soul sat all alone and was very insular ,didnt open up at all. somewhere along the line we did get her to speak and then relax with us as the chemo was being done. we used to have her in stitches too and her sense of humour was a bit raucous.

She ended up finishing her chemo before our daughter and on her last day she came over to us with tears in her eyes and said "thank you both it made everything more bearable and I will miss you" we said take care ,maybe we will see you in clinic ,but we never did .

Sad really cos we have both said wonder how Edith was doing

I know my mum gets very lonely since my Dad died. That's despite me visiting twice a week and phoning her most nights (Lol thing is if I ring when Emmerdale or Coronation Street is on I get told off )
The telephone line is a sound idea and worth the lottery grant it received which should fund it for a fair time :-)

'We're born alone, we live alone & we die alone. Only through our love & friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone'.

Orson Welles (1915-1985).

Objective for this week - get to know my elderly & semi-reclusive neighbours either side of me & give them a good opportunity to get to know me.

Its being talked about on This Morning now

I think it's a great idea to have the Silver line and there will be opportunities for people to have regular call backs too with someone they can get to know a bit so will feel like somebody cares.

I do think those who can't use the internet suffer more than those of us who can communicate with others as we all do here, it must make a difference altho nothing makes up for seeing a friendly face or hearing a cheerful voice.

My cousin of 76 poohpoohs the internet and anything to do with it, but does get lonely when she closes her curtains at night especially now the days are shorter. In summer she can walk down to the sheltered housing complet more easily to visit others or share in an activity, or sit out in her garden with her rabbit playing round her feet but now the dark evenings are here the rabbit stays in her hutch and my cousin is shut inside. We do chat on the phone sometimes but there's only so much news to talk about so it's not that often.

I know my Mum used to get lonely even tho she had lovely neighbours who would go in during the day, she missed company in the evenings. I used to take my son up after school sometimes and we would have a meal with her, that's something else people miss, having someone to share a meal with and the washing up afterwards. It meant my son was up a bit late some evenings but at least it filled Mum's evening for her and gave her things to think about after we left about 8pm

Hope the Silver line is as successful as Childline.


Lizx

You do a wonderful job Sue <3 <3

When I started working with cancer patients I was naive. I thought everyone had someone. I found out very quickly that sadly this isn't true :-( I cried when an elderly lady told me she hadn't been hugged or touched with affection since her husband had died five years before :-( I will never forget that moment and it has made me very aware.

A gentle nudge <3

No-one knows how lonliness can really feel apart from the lonely, it does not matter or how this has happened but to help in a small way makes all the difference....who are we to question??

Young or old it happens as many other things do......life can be hard and for someone to make it that little bit easier, in anyway possible can make all the difference <3

Fantastic idea.

I do wonder and worry a bit how either of us will cope when left to be on our own

~~~~~~~ @ Mersey xxx <3

They certainly are Paula, and what a fantastic job they do!!!

:-) <3 <3