General Chat

I don't strangle Fred but I have my fantasies as, I am sure, does he!

Dad was registered blind, but did have a little vision, in fact I was sure he could see more than he let on! He did live on his own, with a lot of help from us and carers. Lol, if he'd lived with me I would have ended up strangling him!

It must have been very hard looking after your dad if he couldn't see.

Having his cataract removed has had such an energizing effect on Fred. Double edged sword if ever there was one!

My Dad was a member of Saint Dunstan's (for blind ex servicemen), and would go down to their place in Ovingdean for a "holiday" once a year. Great, but getting everything and him prepared for going, then getting him sorted out when he returned outweighed any benefits! :-D

Today, just so I don't get out of practice, we have another by-passing catheter.

Actually Ronald probably did nail the one big downside.

I have not had a night away from here in seven years. Apart from OH being a financial train smash, Fred hated the one night he really did have to spend in the care home, where I would have liked to have been I can tell you. It was lovely and so was the matron, his mate was able to go there for his lunch and there was a glass of sherry with it.

I wouldn't make him have a night where he didn't want to, I would have to live with the consequences, and I would not really relax if I was away and leaving somebody else to deal with whatever might crop up.

It is better I stay here for the duration and moan like hell on here sometimes. Sorry, you know what you have to come now!

l think you and Fred are bloody amazing:))

jude :-)

Sharron another new exciting day for Fred let's hope you can relax a bit . Do what Liz has said write a book on your experiences I bet it would help an awful lot of people out there who are going round in circles , maybe once you get the hut sorted out for yourself you can start but keep notes now on all the funny/sad/annoying wee things that happen. Keep on going Girl your a star x

It's pretty obvious that you inherited your spirit from Fred in the first place and it's that that keeps you both going. He would probably hate to be babied anyway so you did him the biggest favour by taking the attitude to caring that you did. i still think if you could write a book it would help others as well as provide great entertaiment and amusement amidst the helpful hints.

Keep up the good work!

Lizx

FGS Sharron - you are human (and lovely with it), so is Fred.
You're both going to have 'off' days, bolshie days and 'I've had enough' days.
The fact that Fred has 'disappearing' days is thanks to your allowing him the freedom, and his trusting you.(mainly, it seems to 'sort things out)

....Pissy though it may be :-|

Have a moan - you deserve it.

Nothing wrong with a good moan Sharron and I hope you feel happier with the support you've had on here.

Thank you Ronald but we are well sorted for all that.

The hard part is having some idea where he is and what he is up to.

I couldn't keep up his social calendar and, indeed, work load.

He eats out three times a week and we have to get him fish and chips in as well. Then there is the village lunch and his washing, including the tablecloths from the church hall. He has to deliver those back to the churchwarden.

There are the eggs to be bought from round the village and horse-dung to be collected. On top of that there are the blackberries ripening and the crab apples.

As if that wasn't enough, the church has slipped a fete in for next Saturday.

I don't think there is time for any respite. he was sent home to die because he was making no progress in hospital. That was six and a half years ago and he has not had time to even fit that in yet.

Problems arise when one cog jams in the works and I have to re-organize the structure of our lives.

SSAFA were very helpful when he first came home and the Burma Star Association gave us a good whack toward a shed which will be my bolt hole when I can afford to get the rest of the insulation and electrification done.

I have been very fortunate with help, far more than I ever expected to be, but sometimes I just need a bloody good moan!

Sharron Have you tried the Royal British Legion to see wot help you can get. The RBL have 2 or 3 places where Fred could have a respite break and you could go to as Fred's carer provided Fred qualifies. Cant remember wot Fred did during war but if he was Merchant Navy there's still help available. Worth trying - nowt ventured nowt gained. There's all sort of help available these days

:-D

:-D :-D :-D

It wasn't half dull today.

Sharron ....................

I hope that today is a much better day xxxxx

But I am not patient and kind. I do what I have to do, the same as everybody else, and I give him grief when I am doing it for him and he makes things difficult.

Sorry to hear about your day, Sharron, and I bet you were looking forward to a day out. I know how self centred the old and disabled can be, and how they think the world revolves around them.
Your patience and resilience amazes me, it really does! Hope you get some much needed time to yourself soon.
Lynda x

I don't feel guilty about the hissy.

My thinking is that his stroke was never going to make me Mother Teresa and he is not ill. he is inconvenienced and so bloody am I !!!!!! Big time.

He was always awkward and would be considerably more so if I let him get bored.

When he first had the stroke and was in hospital I, and everybody else, thought I was going to be doing what we all think of as caring. Like looking after a huge baby.

There is so little information as to what to expect or do that you really need to work out your own strategy. I have never been very interested in helpless babies so I treated him more as a toddler finding his way in the world. It couldn't have fitted him better.

If I was being a selfless, hard-working, tender, caring nurse I might be inspirational but I am like one of those mothers who would give their child to anybody for a quiet life.