General Chat

Actualy it is the best five years I have had with him.

It's not so bad at all.

Being an only child is no picnic in this situation. It's good that you are tough, and please make sure you have plenty of treats and breaks.
It won't last forever, just feels like it at times.
Love from Lynda <3

Fred has even tried pretending to cry.

As I have explained to him,it never worked for me so why would he expect it to work for him?

He is still the same cantankerous old git he always was. it's just that he can't get it out so easily now.

Kindatakes the edge off an argument when you have to translate for him the insult he is trying to throw at you.

Good for you, Sharron! I couldn't row with my Dad, he'd just turn on the poor little old man act. I would simmer with resentment, but just got on with it.
However, it's all in the past now. Shouldn't speak ill of those who have departed.....

They would like to think they would be selfless in the same position.Yeh!

Many pose as selfless and I think it must foster a great deal of resentment.

Fred and I can still have a bloody good row if needs be but we seem to have sorted out the pecking order now.

Simple really. I'm in charge and I don't take prisoners.

OK, maybe not selfless care, maybe more like tough love. People used to think I was selfless with my Dad, but it was far from the truth!

Selfless care? Don't think so.

Sharron, you are someone I really admire.You have the right balance between encouraging your Dad to do things for himself, and selfless care.
Fred is a very lucky Dad, and it's good to see that you look out for yourself at the same time. Your sense of humour obviously keeps you going.
Well done, Lass!
Lynda XX

you are a genius!!!!!!

I was only thinking when I had him up on the hoist this afternoon,getting him up from his nap,that he never gives me a bit of trouble when he is hanging up there.

He used to watch himself when he only had a push wheelchair too because I could and would have left him wherever he had given me that grief.

When he first came home he was frustrated,naturally,but the stroke wasn't my fault and I was not prepared to take the flakk.

Having had several rows I finally explained to him that I didn't give a flying duck about him either but I did find life easier if I pretended I did.

That shut him up.

I think I may have succeeded by turning the anger and frustration into something more positive.

Well, he is not ill is he? He doesn't need that much looking after.

I take all the pressure off.He has little to worry about apart from how to get out of whatever I have planned for him.

It seems that when these carers took over from the hospital release carers they were worried about him making his own breakfast because he might burn himself.

Doesn't everybody burn themself occasionally?

Well done Sharron.
My friend is going through looking after a priest of almost 90.
She has been his housekeeper for over 30 years and she is on call 24/7 and she is almost 77 ,has polymyalgia and it is wearing her down .
She calls me everyday to unload as she says Im the only one who understands how hard it is....I looked after my OH for 5 yrs 24/7 .
I believe she needs to back off a bit as she's there for every little whim ...and he knows it!!
I know that they can play on it sometimes,but let them try for themselves!!
I love your slapdash attitude!...actually don't think it's slapdash...just plain common sense!

Nice of Fred not to disturb you Sharron, and well done to him for doing the drops himself.

I too think you deserve recognition for the way you have 'encouraged' Fred to help himself as much as possible and not just sit there waiting to die. His life has been interesting, fulfilled and exciting since his stroke, not many can say that!

If slapdash is what you call your caring skills, then good on you, keep up the good work.

Btw, does Fred know he is famous lol?

Lizxx

Har har Sharron, :-D :-D

well done Fred!!

In the kitchen.

Fred may well have managed to administer his own eye-drops....... :-S











...but did he say exactly where he had administered them? :-D :-D

Sorry, just couldn't resist that one!

Nuffink wrong with a bit o' slap dash :-)
Karen

Ann, all I have done is play it by ear. I am not one of the selfless people who devote themselves doggedly to their charges needs, I put upon others for that.

The hard part is the organizing which I was lucky enough to have been born with the intelligence to carry out.

My heart goes out to those people not given such intelligence who still have to carry out the same endlessly complicated fiddle.

I wonder if this is why so few stroke victims are encouraged to get out and do. The organizing is endless and many carers are afraid of getting something wrong.

It is a worry having him do all these things but he is 93 and was 86 when he had the stroke. Of course the Reaper is watching but I really would rather he had to go and find Fred than have him sitting waiting for him to call.

I think you should be put forward for an award - that is not a flippant statement by the way, I really mean it in all sincerity - you are a carer who carries on regardless and saves the country a lot of money - you have allowed your Dad to have his dignity and to live in a home rather than a community setting - you have my undying admiration - you really do and if I lived in the vicinity I would be putting you forward for some sort of recognition

That is what I think. If he had been looked after he would have no achievements to be proud of.