General Chat

Lol, just seen the construction site one :-D :-D :-D

lololol that's why we luvs ya (I'll read it to himself later)

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Thank you Mr Daff
Take care
Von

Having browsed through some other posts from last night, earlier this morning, thought I'd stick this up for consideration ;-)

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus could have been Black:

1. He called everyone "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Fathers business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus could have been Italian:

1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus could have been a Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus could have been a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it..
3. And even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do.

Did you know the Pope holds a pilot's licence to fly the Papal helicopter, but has never learned to drive a car!


Lizx

Thanks Mr Daff........How nice to see us all with lots of Smiley Faces.Brilliant :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

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lololol Stephen, I just hope MrDaff doesn't post a couple more he has come up with this afternoon, boy they were funny but then we share the same sense of humour :-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D please wait until tomorrow, all this laughter is no good for morale you know ;-)

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LOL....ooh not very pc Mr.Daff.....but funny :-D

Last one for today, I think .... maybe more another time ??

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled...

"SUPPLIES!!"

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Lol Lol, one for the grandsons I think.

ROFLMAO :-D :-D :-D :-D that'll be going to my son ;-)

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A piece of black tarmac walks into a bar and says, "Oi. barman, give me a beer, I'm a piece of tarmac and I'm hard. I come from the A45 and lorries and cars drive over me all day but I don't give a damn"!
Trembling, the barman pours him a pint and gives it to him.

Ten minutes later another piece of black tarmac walks in and shouts, "You, bartender, give me a beer, I'm a piece of tarmac and I'm as hard as rock. I come off the M6 and have thousands of cars, trailers, juggernauts and caravans riding over me all day, but I couldn't give a damn cos I'm so tough.
The barman nervously pours him a pint.

Ten minutes later a piece of red tarmac walks in, sits at the bar and orders an orange juice. The two black pieces of tarmac get up and looking mighty frightened run into the toilet. The barman follows them in and says,
"What's going on, I thought you two was hard, why are you afraid of that little piece of red tarmac in there". One of the pieces of black tarmac replies timidly, "Are you kidding, he's a Cyclepath !!".

well I didn't see that one coming :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D Love it!