General Chat

I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving.

As you well know, some of us have been lucky not to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from social sessions over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and then topped it off with a margarita. Not a good idea.

Knowing full well I was at least slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a taxi home.

Sure enough I passed a police road block but because it was a taxi, they waved it past.

I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise.

I have never driven a taxi before and am not sure where I got it.

:-D

You must have been well over for the police to mistake you for a taxi driver.

Hee hee

:-D

I hope you are enjoying your time here Barry.

Prickles. x

Barry. You must have been driving well over the speed limit and on the wrong side of the road for the police to think you were a genuine taxi driver :-D

Thanks for a giggle ;-)

I would like to share an experience with you Barry...........


Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.
...

As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday..'

I thought....well, that's marriage for you, but the kids..... they will remember.

My kids came bouncing down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my handsome boss Rick, said, 'Good morning, lady, and by the way Happy Birthday!' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock, when Rick knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.'

I said, 'Thanks, Rick, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Rick said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day...we don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind?'

He said, 'Let's drop by my place, it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, 'If you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.'

'Ok.' I nervously replied.

He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my husband, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there....

on the couch....

naked.


:-D

Prickly...


I loved it ....... :-D

You can just picture the scene can't you! :-D

:-D :-D :-D Barry

:-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

I had to give up drinking and driving.


I used to spill to much.

Andy

I had to give up golf for the same reason,
cant drink with your eyes on the ball........

Well you know what they say, if you give up drinking, all your favorite foods and the pleasures of the flesh you will live for longer, or maybe it just feels that way.
;-)

Mayfield

"All your favourite foods and the pleasures of the flesh". Sounds like The Silence of the Lambs, Mayfield :-D

i like the sequel to silence of the lambs


its called **shut up ewe** :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D

And Rambo - the sheep with a personal problem

David’s car is swerving all over the road so a police officer pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the officer, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyser test.”
“I can’t”, David responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the officer, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.”
“Can’t do that either,” David responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the officer answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says David “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds David. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated officer. ...Well, because I’m drunk :-S

Paula+ :-D :-D

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side the ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on, and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping zebra.

Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Sober up, and get off the carousel.........