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I need to cry

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

~flying doctor~

~flying doctor~ Report 5 Mar 2012 21:48

How old r u Uzzie and how old is your mum. Has she had her life as she wanted to live it. Well time for you to have yours. That does not mean dessert her but keep distance between you and be there if she needs you. Elaine. <3

Wend

Wend Report 5 Mar 2012 21:36

Sharron, you're SO norty.

Sharron

Sharron Report 5 Mar 2012 21:35

Leave the awkward old beesom on the island.

Wend

Wend Report 5 Mar 2012 21:34

You are so right Elaine, but it's really difficult for Uzzi to know what to do for the best at the moment - I met her mum last week and I could see the problems, say no more . . . . .

~flying doctor~

~flying doctor~ Report 5 Mar 2012 21:19

Oh bless you Uzzie. I think you must find your mum a place in England where she will have people she can talk to. To uproot her I think would not work and if you were on 24hr call with her it could affect your marriage and your life. Do your very best for her but here not in Spain. This is only my slant on things but think very carefully before uprooting her. <3 <3 <3. Elaine.

JackyJ1593

JackyJ1593 Report 5 Mar 2012 21:16

First of all how old is your mum? Is she in good health? Would she cope with the travel to spain, the different lifestyle, would the medical assistance be there, the other sort of back up you would need that is available over here? If she did come to you in an annexe could you afford for help to go in so you wouldn't have the 24 hr call problem? Do you have any relatives/friends over here who could help out if your mum stayed in her own home or if she went into residential care? Would it be viable for her to go into assisted housing/sheltered accomodation over here with visits from friends/relatives and you come over regularly to see her? Maybe over here she would get the benefits that are not available in spain.

A lot to think about but I have several friends going though something similar albeit in this country.

Good luck :-)

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 5 Mar 2012 21:16

Sending you a massive ((((((hug)))))) Uzzi, just to let you know I am thinking of you.

UzziAndHerDogs

UzziAndHerDogs Report 5 Mar 2012 21:14

wednesday is good as I am out all day checking on care homes so Thursday T is back at work all day ..

Wend

Wend Report 5 Mar 2012 21:05

Right, I shall put my mind to Skype very soon - not tomorrow, but Wednesday xx

UzziAndHerDogs

UzziAndHerDogs Report 5 Mar 2012 21:02

Wend it's not a problem ..I know you are there if I need (even without Skype :-D) .I'm just finding things a tad difficult ....

Wend

Wend Report 5 Mar 2012 20:54

((((BIG HUGS)))) Uzzi. Sorry I haven't been in touch - will be soon, I promise. <3

Wend xxx

PS Trying to help one or two good friends at the mo.

UzziAndHerDogs

UzziAndHerDogs Report 5 Mar 2012 20:40

I am finding this decision making for Mum so hard, the decision to agree for her to come to Spain isn't /hasn't been the easiest. I am trying so hard to do the best for her aswell as the best for me, OH and my mutts.
I have several ideas but which are viable I don't know, I know what Mum wants and that is live with me and that is a definate NO .I couldn't do it and she would hate my dogs, but a granny annex is a thought.
Can I cope with that ? 24hr on call.
Then ofcourse there is the problem of does she take out residencia, wills and living ..

I just feel at the moment it's all too much and I want to bl**dy cry.

afterwards I will be okay and strong again but I'm scared that if I crack so early I won't be able to help later.

Sorry cry over no replies needed