General Chat

Thank you Liz x

That's very sad news to read on facebook, I am so sorry as it will leave you with more unanswered questions now, I expect. I hope you can find a little comfort that your Dad is now hopefully at peace with his daughter and maybe later on you can have a closer relationship with your remaining half siblings.

Give it time and allow yourself to grieve if it feels right and not to if it doesn't (if that makes sense)

Once more, my sympathy, treat yourself kindly

Lizx

Feeling very confused today. I have only spoke via messages to my oldest half sister,she hadn't managed to tell my other half siblings and dad that we were in contact with each other as he was an acholic and had been drinking more due to the inquest of my other half sisters beening held this week. He died last night.She hasn't told me but some of my other siblings facebook accounts can be read without being 'friends'. I have message her to say i know to save her having to write a message to inform me. But now so confused as to my feelings about it all. xx

well done and good luck hope every think turns out well for you both

Thank you all. :-D

Great news, hope all goes well and you can find more info and get to know your half sister too.

Lizx

Wonderful news for both of you.

I hope that 2012 is a special year for you all..

Oh wonderful Tina!!! I remember reading this when you first posted, I'm so glad that you've made such progress.

All the best for the future! xx

Thats good news. Wish you luck and do hope it all works out for you both.

Take it a day at a time.

Hazelx

Hi all, finally after yrs of searching and many genes helpers (I so wish Joan Allan was around to tell )I have made contact with an half sister,early days yet but thank you all so very much xx

I have taken on board what you have all said.I did send the second letter a couple of weeks after the first adding more info.However i didn't send it recorded delivery.
So i thought about everything you said and looked at the items i have saved about this search and realised i do have the ladies mothers address. So working out,hopefully i got it right, she'd be about 60 and hopefully in good health so i sent a letter to her. Recorded delivery. I did debate about an Xmas card but then thought against it.
I think now is going to be a good time as i am so busy that i won't have time to watch for the postie or check emails.
Thank you Tina x :-)

My father was born in 1912 in Dublin and within 24 hrs he had been baptised and handed over to foster parents...so far so good, ..I thought.

We could never find his parents! Very recently I discovered why. It was not his birth record. He had never been registered!! He was with the family who brought him up until he was in his 30s and he was active in politics, and left Ireland to come to tne UK, where he remained for the rest of his life.
I recall many people visiting him re political discussions , even from South Africa,
The person we always thought he was died two days after birth.....somene in the family decided that I should know and sent me a message....I was and still am full of different emotions.......so never give up hope, just put your longing for the right info to one side and who knows what will come to you when least expected..
it took nearly one hundred years !!!
Bridget in Spain. <3 :-0

Look I know you are a Detective but stops reading my mind lol

I came back on here to post that I thought a Christmas card might be the way to go next, just to say thinking about family and friends at this time and wondered if you received my previous letters re....

I always put my address on the back of snail mail in case people have moved on and forgotten to tell me or whatever, takes months for stuff to be returned tho.

Good luck

Lizx

like every one is saying dont give up

i tryed to get in touch with one of my dads sister to see if she could be of some help to me with my tree.

i sent a stamp address envelop and my aunite daughter sent me a letter back saying she did not want to bother her mum with such things as she was not to well.

so maybe you half sibling is not in to good health and famliy members dont want to bother her at the moment

but i do hope thay get in touch with you soon

I wouldn't give up hope but would certainly make real sure that you had written to the correct address and that they hadn't moved on. People's circumstances can quickly change. If they had left the family home, the letter might not have been forwarded?

I am unfamiliar with the correct protocol but am wondering if more research could be done within the immediate area to establish whether they still reside there?

wishing good luck, it must be very hard to be waiting for acknowledgement of your letter but I wouldn't give up hope.

Give her time to sober up.

What a surprise for her. A kind of Christmas present maybe.

It took you a long time to compose the letter in your head and you had all the information. She is probably drafting and re-drafting in her head right now and wondering whether to make that phone call, as well as buying sprouts and bread sauce mix.

You just wait now. Get on with something else, buying sprouts and bread sauce and stuff.

How about sending a Christmas Card, with something like your name and half sister?

Put your address on the back of the envelope as well as on the card. That way, if she doesn't live there any more, the card 'might' be returned.

Tina dont give up eyt on that you may get a reply. I wrote to a family member and after a few months just put it down they may not wanted to know or they moved or died.

Well 2 yrs later i got a reply back and we have been in touch since. As he lives in the usa and very old we have never met but have spoken on the phone and emails.

Good luck and lets hope they will get intouch,but if not at least you have tried.

Hazelx

TinaElizabeth my OH has discovered family through similar circumstances.

He and his siblings were broken up in early childhood and fostered or adopted out. Then his sister's children were likewise broken up as a family and fostered out.

Without going into a long story I can tell you that one of his nieces searched for living family about twenty years ago and then gave up. Four years ago I started searching for my OHs family and with help from the "authorities" who have access to records we can not have (in Australia), we are finally piecing his family together. Three streams of searching from different areas just clicked and we are now finding answers.


I have a real reluctance in advising you to give up. Almost six months has passed and the person has had the opportunity to get used to the idea that you exist. Providing of course your letter ever reached them. Keep in mind that the post is not infallible, and things do go astray. People put off doing things, lose paperwork and then give up. Imagine how you are going to kick yourself if you make contact again and the response you receive is, thank goodness, I lost your letter.

What is the worst that can happen??? If the person really does not wish to get in contact with you, even to tell you "no thanks", at least you know you have done your utmost to make contact. I really believe a second letter is justified, and if possible give them an email address which adds that alternative method of communication. Good luck, give it a try, you never know!!!

Perhaps the person never got the letters ? did you send by,,, to be signed for and it was the right person?
perhaps it a road the person doesnt want to go down to open a can of worms of emotional feelings as it could be there wasnt a good relationship with the said father and wishes it to remain closed?

keep an open mind as one day things may turn when you least expect it,as hard as it is now,,fingers crossed for you,,, 2012 could be it.