General Chat

Is it me, or do other people have problems getting replies from potential relatives? I have tried to contact several members, all of whom have just not responded or allowed me to view their trees and I am 95% certain in at least 2 of the members that they are relatives of mine.
Any suggestions?

I am beginning to feel invisible! Not getting response to this post either!

I have the sae problem, infact after I contacted someone with the same people in their tree as me, they removed themselves from GR.
I only asked how they were related to the same people as me.

Thanks for the replies, at least I know there is life out there! Agatha, I am really surprised at what happened to you. I thought this site was about finding relatives both live and dead so you would think people would b e interested to find out more. Perhaps they think we are stalkers!

Or they have secrets to hide.

well this query comes on the boards every week,

and there are many many good answers to it posted...but the simple fact is this...we all pay our money to use the service as we wish....for some that is to research THEIR tree themselves without wanting to help, or be helped, or contact possible relatives :)

Frustrating maybe, but an individual choice,

I have had people ask to view my tree, but when I look at their's which they have opened, they do not have any matches with my tree.

I removed my tree because of someone's constant insistence on seeing it, they said there was a connection, but not one of the names on their tree corresponded to mine, nor would they say who it was and got extremely abusive when I asked. I removed my tree.

But have just put a different part of it back on.... GR have sent me 4 hot matches today...and no doubt sent them to the 4 other people....one I have contacted 2 years ago....the other 3 don't come from the same county and one of those is from a different country!

Maybe that is one reason why people don't reply...mine is a fairly uncommon name...can you imagine how many messages someone with a common name might get!

If you send a message and it isn't opened it could be the person is no longer an active member on this site.

I was wondering about this - it would be good if there was an automatic notification from GR if this is the case, then you can forget it.
I can understand that people might be worried about other's motives in wanting to see their tree, but they could at least answer queries without opening up their tree.
Also, sorry to sound thick, but how do you know if they have opened the message?

Helen if you look in your 'sent' box the envelope will show as open (flap up) if closed after a length of time probably means they are no longer a member.

Many thanks RamblingRose.

Hi Helen, I have had similar problems. These days I send an email to the person via Genes but I include my personal email address incase the recipient is not a full member of Genes (I think you have to have a paid subscription to reply to emails using the Genes mail). Maybe some of the people you have contacted have not yet paid to join and so are not able to reply?

I know of more than a few members who have died in the last few years. Their individual tree will remain on genes reunited unless a relative requests that it be removed.

Non-paying members cannot send a personal message but can reply to one.

Thanks Emma, that is a very good idea I will do that in future. I must say I am finding it very frustrating when you KNOW that a person is a reli, but they appear disinterested. I was hoping that these people would be able to fill me in on family history. I did check, and my recent messages have not been opened which does indicate that perhaps they are not members now (or just being unhelpful).

I cannot count the number of times a thread like this is started.


at least once a week ....... but hopefully not each week for the 7 years that I have been a member!


The following information may help you to understand how GR works, and possibly why you are not receiving replies


GR says in its advertising that they have over 11 million members. That is a cumulative number from the day they started in about 2001.

GR was free at first, so lots of people joined.

They added a fee for Standard Membership in about 2003.

There are now 4 classes of Membership:-

Free
Standard
Gold
Platinum


Free members can load and maintain their tree on here, they can receive pms and reply to pms from paying members but they cannot send a pm unsolicited, they can read these boards but not post on them, they can receive Hot Matches.

Paying members have varying levels of access to records, but perhaps most importantly, they can initiate pms to all other members.


If a paying member does not renew the subscription, GR does NOT remove them, they are just downgraded to Free membership ........... their tree stays on here, the information on it is included in Hot Matches, and they can be sent pms by other members.

GR almost never deletes a tree from this site.


When you send a pm through GR, GR then sends a message to that member's personal email address ......... the assumption being that the email address on file at GR is up-to-date



so, people may not respond to a message from you because:-

they are dead

they are sick and can no longer use the computer

they are no longer interested

they only check on here at very irregular intervals

they have changed their email address and not informed GR



Regarding Hot Matches

It is not apparently a reciprocal thing

..... the fact that YOU get a Hot Match with ME, does not mean that I get a Hot Match from YOU


and, you may notice that you only get Hot Matches for the same few names!


This does not necessarily mean that those are the only names in your tree that also occur in other trees.


I was once told that the computer only screens down the first 100 names for matches.



sylvia

A number of years ago I made contact with the son of my father's cousin. I was very excited and we exchanged information. It was perfect - he knew things I didn't know and vice versa. He even sent me a photo of our great grandparents. Then the contact stopped. I emailed him and also sent him a message on here - it wasn't opened. Ok I thought he's busy. Awhile later I sent him another email and another message. That one wasn't opened either. About 9 months later I had an email from his son. My cousin had passed away suddenly from a heart attack. His son had been looking through his emails and family history stuff and found the messages from me. He sent me everything his father had and that was the end of the contact. Very sad. I know this isn't the case for most people but it does show that there are many reasons why people don't answer.

Sue

Sue

so sorry to hear that


I've heard stories form other people re discovering that their rellies had trees on here, while knowing that those rellies had been dead for several years.


Only the tree holder can delete the tree ............. and close relatives may not be able to use the computer, may not be willing to do it, or may just not be fit enough to do it.



sylvia

Thanks Sylvia - I was sad I hadn't had the chance to meet him.

Some people are totally unaware that their family member has a tree on here so if they passed away the family may not even think about it.

People may not be aware that if they drop their subscription that their tree is still on here. You may contact people who haven't been a member for years.

Sue

That's quite true


OH knows I come on this site, and on ancestry, and several others


.............. but I'm pretty certain that he wouldn't know or think to come on to these sites and delete information or end my subscriptions!


I did read a suggestion last year on another site that everyone should keep a listing of internet sites to which they subscribed, so that other family members could contact them in the event of that person's death .... particularly important if you have automatic deduction from credit card or bank account



Maybe there's a lesson for us ......... have a notebook with a listing of ALL sites on which you go, free or paid, with site names and passwords .............. and possibly even suggestions on "how to do"



sylvia