General Chat

nudge

I shall not be adding anymore to this thread after today. The funeral takes place this afternoon at 1pm UK time. I shall of course be thinking about the family and will say a prayer for them all.

I will visit the thread this evening though not sure yet at what time simply to say a final thankyou for everyone who has offered their condolences and shared their time.

Your friends and the family are in my thoughts. I hope your friend can reach out to his new wife after the funeral and start to get back to the life they share together while helping support the young widow and her child too.
Such a sad time, such a waste of a young man's life and sad that no one realised how brokenhearted he was over the death of his Mum.

Bless them all.

Lizx

If you have the time tomorrow at would you please try to say a prayer or positive thought at 13.00hrs for the young man who will be buried tomorrow, re-united with his mother. It was the sudden death from natural causes that broke this young mans' heart to the extent that he committed suicide 5 years later.

Thank you from all his family and friends for showing such care and concern and how you all have expressed your understanding and kindness for all affected by this tragedy.

That is very sad.

Thinking of them all.

Thank you all for your kind and considerate messages. I do agree that his new wife needs to give him some space but she must also feel a sense of despair.

I feel so sad for his young child and for the mother of this child, I wonder how she must be feeling.

Maybe after the funeral life will slowly get back to something approaching normality. I wnder how do you tell a child either now or in the future that your father committed suicide and what affect that may have.

They are of course in my thoughts and prayers

It sounds as if his new wife needs to give him a bit of space just now while he gets his head around it Bridget. He is still in shock with his thoughts all whirling around with guilt and maybe anger with himself for not seeing it coming. He doesn't think any less of her. He may just feel that this is part of his life and feelings she can't help with. Obviously if it goes on too long then he will need medical help. The poor woman must feel helpless.

His poor wife, she is closest to him so he is hurting her because he is hurt. I hope he soon realises. She is in my thoughts. As also are the young man's wife and child. They are going to need a lot of support. what a tragedy for all of them.

What a dreadful thing to happen. A tragedy for him, his family and for society too as we can all play a part in these things by how we treat people. I have heard talk of these things being cowardly or how selfish it is not to think of those left behind. How unthinking people can be, I for one am too cowardly to have the courage to do it.

It sounds as if he was still grieving the loss of his mum or her support and may not have found it easy to talk about it to anyone let alone seek help. When depression sets in, confidence goes and any enjoyment of life along with the ability to think in a rational way. He would not have wanted to hurt his family, he just couldn't cope any more. Now his poor father will be running a gamet of emotions. Very best wishes to him in this difficult time.

Please remember the wife of this young man's father. The father is so completely devastated that his wife of 4 years sent me a heart wrenching message today. He will not talk to her and keeps a photo of his first wife in sight all the time. I suggested that she seeks medical advice but I think she is to afraid to do so incase it upsets him.

This morning I received an email about this young mans' funeral. I wonder if we could all just have a minutes silence to think of everyone who will be attending, The family remain devastated and tell me that they cannot think of anything else and are finding the situation unbearable. I am worried about the lads father as he is inconsolable and withdrawing from his wife of 4 years and other members of the family.

The funeral will take place on the 9th of March at 13.00hrs.

Here in Peniscola in Spain all his friends will be gathering in the bar and we shall have 2 minutes silence and then what I call a "Wake"

Thank you everyone for your kind comments and prayers

How awful for him to be going through such pain, presumably the loss of his Mum caused upset with him and his wife to the extent he left her and their little one. So sad he didn't try and share the load, with Samaritans or similar or his gp perhaps.

It must have been dreadful for the youngsters who found him tho, obviously his mind was so disturbed he didn't think of those who would come across his body but I dread to think how upset they must be too.

My thoughts are with them and with all this young man's family and friends. One desperate act has changed so many lives for ever.

Lizx

an update on this tragedy.
after many rumours we found out lasy night that the young man who hanged himself did this in the local park and was found by "some youngsters".
My heart goes out to both our friends , the son and of course the people who found the victim. I chose the word victim deliberatly because havib=ng had the ime to think aboout him and to read all the wonderful messages of support on here, I realise that he was/is a victim of loosing his very much loved mother and this coupled with the news that I heard ysterday that he had in fact left his wife and two young children I believe that he was in even more distress.than was realised.

I thought about hime a great deal this morning inmy quiet time and hope that he has found solice and been re united with his mother in one way or another.

Thank you everyone for all your kind comments and your support. we still do not know if there has been an announcement re the Coroner.

Purple

Thank you for this very kind message, a young life coming to such an end is always so very sad.
We have heard that he Hanged himself very close to the place his beloved m....r is buried. Yes he did miss her a great deal, she was a fun but straight forward lady and would have been devastated if she thought for one moment that her son would ever have such depth of emotions. I feel for his siblings and his new wife and her child as well as the father.

We do not know when the funeral will take place because of course the coroner will have to deal with the situation first.
I am meeting the friends who were with the father almost immediately after he had heard the news so perhaps we will learn more tonight.
Thank you everyone for your concerns and comments.

B

I do hope this awful tragedy doesn't split the dad up from his new wife, but it sounds as tho he is in turmoil himself and if he shuts her out, things will become very difficult for both of them. At the moment, loving support is what would help him best but if he doesn't allow this lady to help him through things could go badly awry.

One of my friends who took his life, had a wife and two young sons, the second one was very badly handicapped and I think along with money worries, he just couldn't accept his son's handicap. The young wife coped admirably tho altho most of her time was taken up with the handicapped son and the other one felt a bit pushed out especially after his beloved Nanna died too several years later. She had always had time for him.
The wife set up a group helping handicapped children through music, it became a charity funded group that spread across the city and helped many parents with their children. Sally has done so much for others and Mike would have been very proud of her.
Sadly the handicapped lad died a couple of years or so ago while away at his residential school - he was in his late teens I think. His Mum still helps run the music group and has a new partner I think, and of course her eldest son still around.

I hope your friend's young wife and child can find strength to carry on and that they have a lot of loving support around them.

Lizx

Only just seen this Bridget - I am so very sorry and my heart goes out to the father, wife, child and all the family and friends of this young man.
May he RIP and meet up with his dear Mom.
Mary xx

I found this prayer this morning whilst looking for something else. I do hope that no one objects to me posting in it on here.
Thank you,
We have tried to contact our friend but without success, so I am sending some positive thoughts to him and the rest of the family.

Almighty God, Our Heavenly Father, we understand that Thy sixth commandment, "Thou shalt do no murder," includes self murder. But in Thy Divine Mercy, we beg Thy forgiveness especially for our friends son, who has been so confounded by the pressures of his life that he felt there was no way he could continue. Grant, we beseech Thee, that he be accepted into your Divine Providence, and that he may come to understand Thy ways and Thy nature. We ask this in Jesus Christ's name.
Amen.

I have adapted this slightly.

What a tragic thing to happen, I feel so sorry for all of them, I can't imagine what they must be going through.

I hope the young man is at peace now.

They are all in my thoughts.

Thank you everyone for all you good and kind thoughts. My husband arrived back from the airport very tired and feeling very concerned about the boys father.
I was not trying to say that the father is to blame and I apologies if that is how it read. As you can imagine I also am in shock as I have known this young man for about 10 years.
I would never condemn anyone because I believe that "there but for the grace of God, go I". I have done things in my life which I regret and I know that I have also hurt people.
All I was saying is that our friend was feeling such a mixture of emotions and and guilt re his wife was one of those emotions. He would not talk to the lady he is now married to, who was also very distressed and he simply sat holding a photo of his former wife and talking to her.

You are all such delightful people for sending your kind thoughts and prayers.
When our friend has been through all the formalities and the funeral has taken place I will be letting him know how positive thoughts are being sent to him and his family and of course the prayers etc.

Last night I learned that the young man has left behind a wife and young child.....how on earth can one imagine how they are coping and what can anyone do to lighten their burden.
Deana, I was not trying to put down his father or indeed condemn him in anyway,,,,I was trying to explain the extra pain he was experiencing and the guilt he was feeling....and of course the added pain that this is giving to the lady who he is married to now, who was in Spain with him and he simply will not talk to her , he tells her to go away and holds a photo of his first wife the young mans' mother. So sorry if it did not sound like this.

B

I am so sad to read this news Bridget, and can only wish your friend and his family my deepest sympathy as they come to terms with such a sad loss.
Poor lad, he must have missed his Mum so much and if he is happy with her now, you cannot wish him back however hard it is for everyone to understand such an action.

I have known two male friends who found suicide to be the answer, one took his life when in his twenties and the other in his fifties, both were loved so much by their families and friends, but couldn't cope with the things life threw at them.

Having suffered depression myself for much of my life, I can relate to the black hole but have managed to keep thoughts of suicide out of my head. I have come close to the despair that can push people over the edge tho and no one can make a difference however hard they try when a person is feeling so lost and sad that they cannot see any other way out.

May this poor lad rest in peace now, hopefully reunited with his Mum at last.

Lizx