General Chat

Joy....that is precious xx

Just looking through some World War One postcards to take to the history and politics class today - what do I read? My grandfather writing from the trenches - I am fine ...

Sue,

We have already said everything over the phone. It's a 550 mile round trip but I have to go. We are all huggers anyway so it'll be usual for us. The hugs will just be harder and longer this time.

Sue x

Sue - if you don't know what to say then say nothing. We always try to fill silences with words. Hugging is good.

Sue xx

Well at the funeral on Wednesday I will NOT be asking how people are! Because the answer would be distraught.

Just hugging everyone in sight!

I killed then revived the thread, Jill. Twas Janey and Uzzi who killed it again:-(

Sue xx

Who is trying to do battle to kill the thread?

LOL

Sorry, been off trying to sort out my Crowhurst / Buggs / Roots conundrum. Doesn't help that they're Baptists as well!

Jill

Jill you are right I will ask how are you coping ...even though I know she is hurting to shit, but its better than asking how she is.


allow me do kill the thread ,,lol

Here, allow me. ;)

I've killed the thread:-((

Sue xx

Hello Mrs. G and all. If it's a casual greeting I say "how are you" without thinking. If it's someone who I know is going through a hard time I say things like "are you feeling any better today" or "how is everything going" etc. But then I'm the soul of discretion:-))

Sue xx

I have been asked how are you when in the doctors surgery, I replied with the same answer, fine thanks . then thought , what am I doing here if I am fine,lol its a habit we get into to ask. I remember my mum coming home one day after talking to a elderly lady , who mum didnt know.When departing company,mum told her to have a lovely afternoon. The lady said "how can I have a lovely afternoon when my husband has just died". bless her

Jill.... the nurse was the one who tore the Gynae registrar off a strip..... I won't tell you some of the other stuff this registrar came out with.... but my Leukaemia nurse practitioner put in a complaint about her about the way I had been spoken to and treated, although that is another story.... and an all female thread, lolol! ;¬)) I was oblivious.... probably a good thing.

Love

Daff xxxx

Jill -- do notices of change of email address count? Surely they too should start out with "how are you?" !! ;)

Amanda my stock answer to friends is I'm alive ain't I what more can I ask for. It has a habit of moving the convo on, but I still say to friends how are you you, .

Ah but Uzzi in that case I would mean it. "How are you coping?" is a good question and she would understand where you were coming from.

And Daff's nurse could have asked the same question - at least it would have elicited a reasonable response! Poor nurse - I hope you tore her off a strip Daff!

It's the people that you see on a regular basis - you know how they are, what their problems might be, that's when it strikes me as a daft question to ask ...

And Amanda is right - it's our mask isn't it?

Looking forward to the e-mail from Hayley asking me how I am - LOL

Janey - did you find any emails like that? LOL

Jill

I think perhaps the honest answer to " how are you ? " should be " grinning and bearing it " ........it seems from most of the responces on here that that is what we all do . When you go out of your door into the world the " mask " is on and you hide whatever misery you happen to be feeling .

Jill but how do you not ask of a friend ?

I have to phone a friend soon who's OH died a couple of weeks ago (I have phoned previous) but how easy is it to say how are you, What a stupid question the guy she spent 50 years with has just died at the age of 66 how the eckers do I think she is.! and do you know she would answer I'm fine.

I remember feeling like death warmed up, drips and tubes coming from everywhere, totally zonked out and actually being in the process of ejecting my meagre fluid intake in a violent manner, when a registrar from another discipline visited.... she smiled brightly at my ravaged face.... well if it wasn't it blummin well should have been... and said *how are we today? Well I hope???

She almost got strangled with my collection of tubes.... and that was from my nurse, not me, lol!!

I replied.... *I'm fine, thank you* and said nurse then went on to enlighten.....

Love

Daff, who is wondering what the alternative is? xxxxxx

I clearly wasn't..... but have no idea why I felt the need to reassure her!

Julie - that's it. My life has been a bit gruesome over the last couple of months and I daren't tell anyone who asks me ... they'd weep ...