General Chat

SORRY DIDNT REPLY SOONER
OUTSIDE HAVING CIGGI OOOPHS
SHOULDNT SAY THAT

Sooo true in a lot of cases PP.
I went to a doctor (not my usual one) with a pain in my knee (turned out to be a cartilidge problem - usually suffered by athletes, but caused by sliding on icy pavements!). It was winter and I was wearing a big padded coat.
Without looking at me, he told me to lose weight!!
I asked him how much he thought I weighed - he said 'Your problem is you're overweight'. 'How much should I weigh'? I asked.
'Less than 10 stone' was his reply.
'Thats if I'm under 5'6' I replied. 'You are' was his reply - 'Yes and I'm 9 stone maximum' was my reply.
I left and made an appointment with my normal doctor!!
What really annoyed me (apart from his ignorance) was that he agreed my problem was normally suffered by athletes ( which I'm not), but assumed, in that case, it was because I was overweight!!!

Maggie - I've been told to lose weight by a grossly overweight doctor. When I asked why he felt he could advise me about my weight (not excessive) he said "I'm the doctor". Never went back to that one.

Sue xx

lpc, i think i would have made a complaint. whether or not you are overweight( and i personally dont know you so couldnt say) the doctor had no right to say it. if you are only a size 16, i think that is the average size of a lady thesedays and by no means is huge. i have a saying which is this
you can think what you like about anyone and anything, but if what you say may cause offence then you shouldnt say it but only think it.
im pretty shocked though, i have always said to my children wherever possible try not make personal remarks, you could upset someone.
chin up .flo

US doctors say that British doctors have a reputation of blaming everything on being over weight, or under weight. If that wasn't the cause celebre, it would be something else!

DET
before weight - smoking was blamed for everything!!!

...and if you smoke - that's why you've strained your back (apparently!!) LOL

(must be sucking in the nicotine too hard!!)

Of course, exhaust fumes are harmless!!!

....look! flying pigs!.... LOL

One interesting incident I remember from uni was sitting in the food hall with three girls from my course (one of whom was of the "if I think it, I have a perfect right to say it straight out even if it offends people" mindset, and just incidentally happened to be what you might call generously proportioned).

These two or three very pretty, very slim girls (who none of us knew) walked past eating something and the girl I mentioned above made a comment like, "I bet they make themselves throw up after eating that" which just appalled me, partly because I've had an eating problem in the past and partly because it was such an ignorant comment that was just made because these girls happened to be slender.

Slightly off-topic, but I also find there is a similar thing with working from home. A lot of people seem to assume that, because I work from home and therefore don't have to leave the house, I don't work and I just lounge about being lazy when actually I'm self-employed (so I work at times that don't necessarily fit the 9-to-5 pattern - I admit I'm not an early riser but some days I've been known to work up to 1am if it's needed) and have two extra unpaid voluntary commitments as well.

Ah Kate - your comments are exactly what my point was in my opening post. Some people truly feel they are being outspoken when in truth they are being rude.

I also have a problem with people thinking if you do work from home you are happy to have people drop round for a cuppa or ring up for chat. I've had to say so many times that I'm working and don't want to be interrupted. Well not much anyway because I should be working now:-))

Sue xx

"... and that my 28 y.o. son shouldn't be allowed to live with us and I certainly shouldn't be doing his washing etc."

Weeelllll......for the sake of any future wife/partner she's right about that bit ;-)


Sounds like you have an interfering neighbour who needs to be told. I wouldn't worry about offending her too much, if you do you'd get a bit of peace and quiet for a bit lol

Forgot to say the saying 'I/she/he call a spade a spade/shovel' irritates me. I find it's often used by those who want to find an excuse to be as rude as they want to other people and then expect those other people to just accept it.

I have two seperate stories about issues arising on these posts.

Story number 1. I had a GP, and the surgery has a monopoly, so at first I had the choice of just one GP or her husband. I went to her regularly for about a year... she refused to send me for blood tests, she refused to refer me to a rheumatologist. But she told me she had! She told me that I was fat, middle aged, middle class... she didn't add the white bit that time, but she had done previously...She did refer me 3 times to the dietitian... ok, so I am overweight, but I knew that wasn't the problem. I ended up reading the internet, and joining a thyroid website... my symptoms coincided with thyroid or Lupus problems. I paid for my own blood tests, drove to Cheltenham from Newport to have it done, and was worn out for days afterwards. These tests were specific, and not Full Blood counts so didn't pick up a problem

In the end, just a couple of weeks after bursting into tears at the dietetian clinic, I saw a new doctor in the surgery. I explained to him how I felt, and dramatically told him that I felt I was dying, and that I wouldn't see my 55th birthday if I wasn't taken seriously.

I had the blood tests. And was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. That was 17th October... I was told that I would have died by Christmas that year without treatment. That woman nearly killed me! Literally.

And, the best bit? Because I was overweight, my body could lose the weight without it affecting my internal organs... so it contributed to saving my life!

The 2nd story? I knew someone who used to constantly say rather proudly, that they liked to call a spade a spade... and this seemed to give them the right to be blunt, direct, and downright rude and abusive in their tones to others especially when they disagreed. They said they liked other people to be straight, too... to give it to them like it is.

So I did, one day, when this person was being particularly rude and hectoring... and do you know what? They hated it!! Didn't like it one little bit. I have met others who claim to like to call a spade a spade as well... and do you know, almost universally, it is ok only when THEY are the ones calling the spades!!

Me? I would much prefer to pussyfoot so as not to hurt people's feelings, most of the time... and do try to be diplomatic (well, I am human, so I fail sometimes to) if I feel I have to say my piece, lol

Love

Daff xxxx

I too was in the same position as Daff, overweight, middleclass, and abit past being middleaged. But I had been this on and off over the years, so I just took it for granted, and was at times slimmer than others, but at times weightier than others. Also like our Daff, I lost 3 1/2 stones last year through ill health, and over as many months. Despite several medics saying that, although I could do with losing the weight, and I have to agree with them there, non actually questioned it. I had already started with my medical problem, by about 18 mths. when the weight loss came into play. Despite a whole new wardrobe of clothes many sizes smaller, did anyone remark how good I looked. No, no-one did. But, I do know that if I put some of it back on, ribald comments will be made. We should be accepted for what we are, not what we should steroetypically be like.
Julia in Derbyshire

So rudeness is a fairly widespread occurence:-))

Daff - I have to say whenever you have been annoyed enough to tell it how it is you do so in the nicest possible way.

Sue xx

Aye, I think we should all take lessons from Daff on getting our point across in the nicest possible way ;-)

*blushes* Thank you, lolol....

Love

Daff xxxx

Yeah - well you weren't so nice on the "be nice" thread, Daff:-))

Sue xx

wmsl..... oh I know, but that was cos you weren't nice to me first, lolol you said I was silly.... which of course I am so not...... poor Robert had already been frightened away by then, lolol.......

You are a very NICE nutter!! :¬)))

Love

Daff xxxx

I HAVE SAID THIS BEFORE
WHEN SOMEONE PASSES ON INFORMATION
OR GOSSIP
DO YOU CHECK BEFORE REPEATING IT
OR POSTING IT
SOME BAD JOKES GO ON FOR YEARS
BUT WAS IT TRUE IN THE FIRST PLACE
OR SOME ONE BEING REAL NASTY

Ladylol Pusser Cat,Maggie,SueMaid

I can't believe how rude, arrogant and insensitive those doctors have been towards you all.They have no right to talk to their patients like that-
qualified or not.It doesn't give them the right to be rude to a patient just because they are overweight.If any doctor treated me like that,or spoke to me in that way,I would never go back to them either.I am lucky in that my doctor always listens to my concerns and treats me with respect.

Dianne-I love your mother's comment to the nasty neighbour-good on her!

Dizzi- love yourself-ignore the nasty comments-HUGS :)))))
Don't repeat gossip or information-keep it to yourself.If you can't do that,at
least check whether it's true or not,if you must pass it on.

Daff-what an incredible story-lucky for you that you saw the new doctor,
who listened to you,and acted positively to address your concerns,after
the other lady doctor refused to take you seriously.If we're not happy with the doctor's treatment of us,sometimes it is good to take responsibility for our health into our own hands,and get a second opinion.

My family has a history of glaucoma on both my parent's sides,and my parents have always been very insistent that I get the pressure in my eyes checked at regular intervals,which I did,at least yearly.My eyes went very bloodshot,I was under stress,so I went to my local GP,who was also my parents' GP and was well aware of their glaucoma,and that I was their daughter.The doc. told me to irrigate my eyes with those false tears eye drops,and told me to come back in a week's time.He didn't seem too concerned.After 1 week I came back with my eyes still very bloodshot,so
he said,very airily,"I suppose that I had better send you to the eye specialist then,"and gave me a referral to the one 2 minutes up the road.
I went immediately,as it was an emergency.The pressure was 26 in the good eye,and 41 in the bad eye.41 is almost enough to lose your eyesight.
(My Grandfather lost his sight in one eye,because he wouldn't take his eye drops.) When I found out the pressure in my eyes I was furious-I had been walking around for a week,with dangerously high pressure in my eyes, because of the casual attitude of this idiot doctor.I was lucky that I hadn't gone blind in one eye. I never bothered to go back to him again as I didn't trust him with my health,and found the doctor that I attend now.
I have been diagnosed with glaucoma now,since 2004,and have to take eyedrops twice daily,but that is a small price to pay for keeping my eyesight.The eye drops keep the glaucoma under control.It is a painless disease-so unless you have your pressure checked regularly,you don't know that you have it.

But I have wandered off the point of this thread-if you can't say anything nice,best not say anything at all,then no-one gets offended,or upset.

Thans margot well i wont be going back my GP says she has enough information from the mri etc to treat me for now, thing was waiting in the clinic your usually called to give a sample and be weighed i said no to that knowing what he could be like lol oh well not bothered now bet he has no friends xx
sorry to you suemaid that similar has happened, daff i remember you going through all that rejection you couls see you were ill xxx