General Chat

I think that EVERYONE has the right to to be treated with respect whether they are the ones asking for help or the ones that are giving the help. Sadly it doesn't happen on frequent occasions.


Claire in Lincs I will pm you

Wendy

I helped Janet once, and once was enough. Here replies to people are very abrupt, and she had been told about this on a thread. I thought it was just the way she answered me, until I read the thread. She has had loads of help from people, on Records,Tips,TTF and here on General. I thought she had a cheek to complain.
But that was just my opinion.
Julia in Derbyshire

Wendy,,is Santa Cruz nice? Are there any nice bars/cafe's?

I notice that Janet has deleted her remarks ,,what a coward

Just found this thread and I agree with what you say Wendy. I've had lots of help in the past and am extremely grateful for any info. I haven't found.

Good manners cost nothing and make the boards a pleasant place to be,but sometimes other members arrogance makes me mad. The self appointed moderators who actually have the nerve to tell certain members to delete their thread,yes I know they might have repeat requests but not everyone goes onto Tips/Records so please stop and think of your actions!.

Yes Claire Tenerife is in the Canaries if you are coming to Tenerife you will be coming into Santa Cruz the capital, it is about 30 minutes from us.

Wendy x

Is that the Caneries Wendy? I am going there in Sept on a cruise..

Its a lot warmer than Spalding isnt it?,,lol

Hi Claire

I was in Holbeach and then Spalding. I've been here, Puerto de la Cruz, since 2002

Wendy x

Whereabouts Wendy? I am in HOLTON-LE-CLAY

Wendy,In total agreement with the point's you've made.

There are a few on these board's that patronize and don't seem to be able to "Think,Outside the box" when they read a thread.

Cass

Thanks Claire

Wendy x ( I was from Lincs)

Wendy

Good thread,,,

We all started off knowing nothng,,and its totally wrong to make others feel inadequate just because they might not know as much as those of us who have been 'at it' for a few years,,i love helping people or pointing them in the right direction.

Thank you for all your replies, they have made interesting reading. I am pleased that nobody has taken this thread personally as this was not the intention.

I have been researching my family tree for about nine years and I joined GR in 2003. I didn't start using the boards until a couple of years after this but I read them.

When I did ask for help I was amazed at just how much info was found for me and given to me re other sites. I then I joined Ancestry, bought some parish records cd's and last year I subscribed to the 1911 census.

I decided to try and help others when I got to the point that my tree was more brick walls than branches.

Some people I have helped have thanked me. Some have ignored me and the thread completely, but I found whatever it was they wanted because I wanted to - yes they had asked for it in the first place but I didn't have to look for it.

I just find some of the remarks made by the minority of people unacceptable.I don't believe that it is necessary or right to make people feel inadequate or unable to return to the boards for fear of the comments made publicly to them.

I was interested to read other peoples views. Thank you again

Wendy

Ann and Daff,,,i agree with you,,
Janet you added bits onto your thread several times and not even a 'thank you'...

You're one of those people i shall make a note of not to help....

I do feel that there are some self imposed board monitors around. They don't pay any more than other members, they have the same rights as the rest of us. There is a way of saying things which as Rose said is more encouraging but some posts and indeed threads come across as superior. Don't get me wrong, they are not the enemy, they are kind helpful people but by the same token, those who seek help are not the enemy either.

I totally agree Tenerife Sun...I cannot believe the replies I have seen over the past months...cringe worthy! Along with. many replies replying it is against GR T&Cs etc etc etc. As a member of over 5 years I feel that the camarderie of this site is now somewhat lost....which is such a shame.

Linda x

Couldn't agree more Tenerife Sun,

I have with some difficulty held my tongue several times recently ...I don't mind 'abrupt' (at a pinch) if it is also 'correct' , what i object to is 'abrupt' and that person also being 'wrong' in the information they are 'imposing' on a newcomer.

There are ways of saying something, which are guaranteed to make someone feel foolish or inadequate ...and there are ways of being imformative and encouraging. It's not WHAT is said , it is how it is said...some are good at that...some are not!

Rose xx

I have been happy to help, mainly with advice, also with look ups, but am gradually deleting replies, going back many months, even years now, where the original poster has not returned.

Not pulled up Jane...........I just politely advised you that you had received replies and let you know how to find them. I feel sorry for newbies who don't know how the boards work because I was once in the same position. You didn't answer my message but I hope you found the info helpful. Cx.

can i just add,that i have been researching my family tree for about 4 yrs now,ive asked for help and ive given help in return,but about 12months ago i asked for some help from genes members,i was so excited at the info i was getting back(the 1911 census)that i got a bit mixed up,well you cant imagine the backlash i got,some horrible and sarcastic things were said to me,after trying to defend myself(with some help from some members) it was like getting thrown to the lions and i had no chance,i signed off and it was 9months before i had the courage to come on this genealogy forum again.x