General Chat

I had all of those..

Sitting on a cold step would give me piles. (of what?)

Eating paper would give me worms (what else are school bus tickets for?)

Eating fish would give me brains (didn't I already have one?)

I'd catch my death of cold if I went out with wet hair (except at the seaside eh?)

I could grow potatoes in my ears (really)

Eating carrots would help me see in the dark (later found to be WW2 propaganda)

Eating my greens would make me grow big and strong. (didn't make them taste nice though)

Too much TV would give me square eyes

Sitting to close to TV would make me go blind.

Eating crusts would make my hair curly (it was already curly so I tried not to eat them)

Chewing gum would get stuck in my insides. (it worked for me too, I still can't swallow it)

Too much cheese would give me nightmares

Wear a vest or you'll get a cold in your kidneys,

Probably many more. I tried not to say them to my own kids, but I'm sure I'm guilty of saying them at one point, they seem to know them all *blushes*

LW, you don't just get earwigs, all sorts must live in there, they never get combed, also the same applied to dreadlocks, and anyone wearing a Tedyboy suit wasa gangster, I personally preferred their dress to some of today's

Just confirmed with my daughter also a Pauline that it wasn't her posting about being the only one with a liberty bodice, she also had a camphor block pinned to her vest, supposed to ward off colds.

My OH is always telling people to wear a vest, the young ones look at him as though he's crackers.

Another one,

Keep yer 'and on yer 'Alfpenny

O.K. Admit it! Who had to have goose grease rubbed on their chests in winter to keep the cold out. Oh! the smell.

LW

Bob are you a 5penny piece fan --- or giving Molly some simple advice!!

LW

You are sitting on your rent book!

If things get any worse we'll have to go and stand by Victoria's statue in Picadilly. what for? was it because it hadn't been bombed?

Lady who lived next door would come into ours in a storm and Mum had to turn mirrors round and hide knives and forks and spoons or else we would be struck by lightening, oh, and open both doors to let the thunder bolts roll through. She would sit in a corner in our kitchen and literally quake with fear. I was petrified and only really got over all this rubbish when I had my children and had to be brave for them

Poor teacher giving a lesson on the facts of life to my class of knowing young ratbags as several of us sat at the back singing'The Menstrual Flow to the War Has Gone.'

Girl haemmopheliacs only live until their first period when they bleed to death.The pub medical expert told me that.

Heard most of these,and many more,but the one which I laugh at the most is, and I imagine it passed on over the years,very, very Les Dawson fashion, is of a gt.gt. Aunt told by her sister-in-law. "She never married,did that one".. Well gt.gt. aunt in law, for your information, and a lot of my time researching for her, yes she did b.....well marry. In fact, in her mid 40's in 1908, she sailed to Singapore, and married a Sea Captain when she got off the boat. So there, with brass knobs on.
Julia in Derbyshire

They probably didn't use goose grease because butter was cheaper.

I wasn't allowed to wear new clothes until it had been washed to get the dressing out.

If you pick a guinea pig up by it's tail it's eyes will fall out.

Why did the Sunday roast have to be soaked in salt water when no other meat had to be?

Why did they have to get up at some ridiculous time and look like they were catering for a coronation to get the Sunday roast done anyway?

Not only would I get piles if I sat on cold ground,I would also 'ruin' myself and there was always 'later life' to be remembered at these times.Eh?

Well I had most of these ....

But one thing I feared most was telling lies.

My mother always made us poke out our tongues to see if there where any pimples on them.
So I learn t to keep me gob shut !!

But secretly I always went and looked in the mirror just to check .. LOL

In my house you only got piles if you sat on a school radiator, you got worms if you ate the orange pith/skin and bread crusts made your hair curly. Problem was, I really loved crusts and consequently I have hair that is practically unmanageable!

Oh and you didn't let a boy near you until you had a ring on your finger otherwise they wouldn't respect you. Obviously i had no idea what the hell my mum was talking about as I was about 10 when she told me this.

But I'm OK, my nan gave me her wedding ring and i think OH respects me. Well who else would tidy up after him.

Wasn't a euphemism but I remember telling my children that they had to behave wherever they were because the lights flashing on the planes passing were taking photos and could see what they were up to..LOL....they believed it for quite a while and we still laugh about it now :-))))

I remember once I was playing with my friend Christine at her house. We were being naughty and a real pain in the neck to her Mum. Her Mum said: "Just remember, you two, Jesus is watching you!" My friend said: "Oh no He isn't! The curtains are shut!"

I got sent home!

LW

i was always scared of being asked to be bridesmaid when little
cos i thought the bride and groom marry and move into their own home,
so the bridesmaids must have to leave home too,
i dont know what made me think that, but it just never left my head when i was small
and i sure as hell werent gona tell anyone, cos they thought i was gaga anyway

also the dark, terrified of that,
always used to cover my neck

and always had a repetative dream of someone a stranger moving round upstairs, i could hear um, but theyd suddenly come running down stairs towards me,
couldnt scream though i tried,
this dream has also haunted me as ive grown up