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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Taff

Taff Report 27 Jan 2009 08:36

OOh Posie, all the best at the vets.
I have a 16 year old one as well, have you tried a chicken breast as a treat?
My old one is like Lazarus, but as soon as he gets a sniff of chicken, He's like a kitten again!!

Taff

Taff Report 27 Jan 2009 09:01

Ann of Green Gables 18th December 2008 18:58 Request review
I know I put this on once before but feel it is worth another airing!!!!




How To Give A Cat A Pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little beggars front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.



How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.


ShimmsRedRoseAndMistletoe

ShimmsRedRoseAndMistletoe Report 27 Jan 2009 09:15

Oh Taff, you have cheered me up this morning, truly you have lol! :))

Morning everyone :))

Rose, forgive me ... have been reading about your puss, has been hard of late to speak on the boards.

Do hope Buttons will be okay. I 'lost' one of my lovely cats last year, yet my other one has taken the house over,bosses my son's dog Cass who is soooooo much larger than her lol!

We make a little bed in the cat basket, put some cat biccies in and leave the door open. Once in and happily munching, we quickly close the door.

Many years ago I had JennyJemima who was very poorly at the same age ... she lived to be 18/19 years.

Am thinking of you and Buttons.

xxx Shimms xxx

Glenys the Menace!

Glenys the Menace! Report 27 Jan 2009 09:18


Taff, you little minx, you! :-))

Rose, hows about some catnip? We can usually tell with any of our five, if they're not responsive to that, that they're not well.

Good luck with little Buttons.
x

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 27 Jan 2009 10:43

Aw Rose..... I do hope all is well with Buttons.... everything crossed for you and for her....... xxxxxxxxx

Love
Daff and her trainee tigers xxxxx

JoyBoroAngel

JoyBoroAngel Report 27 Jan 2009 11:14

any news yet get well soon buttons

Muffyxx

Muffyxx Report 27 Jan 2009 11:25

Just nipped on to find out the same Joy.......

Hope no news is good news xx

LadyBarbara

LadyBarbara Report 27 Jan 2009 11:49

Any news anyone???

Muffyxx

Muffyxx Report 27 Jan 2009 13:09

nudge for news xx

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 27 Jan 2009 14:09

I'm glad you dug that up Taff - I was just about to look for it!!!

*~~*Posh*~~*

*~~*Posh*~~* Report 27 Jan 2009 14:11

Hoping all is well with Rosie's cat.... xx


ShimmsRedRoseAndMistletoe

ShimmsRedRoseAndMistletoe Report 27 Jan 2009 14:12

Me too xxx

Taff

Taff Report 27 Jan 2009 15:15

Ilove it AnnGG,
I bookmarked it!
Hope you didnt mind me "nicking it".
Any news yet?

X Lairy- Fairy

X Lairy- Fairy Report 27 Jan 2009 18:47

Hi Everyone .
Thanks all for you concern your all very kind.
Managed to get the cat in the box she wasnt happy.
The vet says there is nothing wrong with her , no temp lo lumps or bumps, he said shes in great health and for me not to worry .
he said for her age she is in tip top condidtion , also take her back if she is still not eating in a couple of days.
Ive just given her some chicken and shes eaten most of it , must have been the fresh air she had.
once again thank you all for you concern .
Rosex
Ps Taff the joke very good lol

Muffyxx

Muffyxx Report 27 Jan 2009 18:53

Aw that's great news Rose.........pleased to hear it xx

Taff

Taff Report 27 Jan 2009 19:05

Aw, Rosie, Glad your cats in good health,
and Glad you liked the Joke, (in all fairness, I copied it off AnnGG)
xxx

StrayKitten

StrayKitten Report 27 Jan 2009 19:06

brill news hun xxxx