General Chat

Re Ajay, my Gt gt nephew that tragically died. i have just found out what actually happened.

what actually happened was the Emma picked up AJ first
thing in the morning, then just lay down with him, presumably for a short
while while she 'came round', but unfortunately fell asleep again. She keeps
saying 'if only I hadn't fallen asleep, AJ would still be alive'.

She'll never get over it, will she. Just learn to live with it eventually.

Aw God love her, the poor poor girl... I used to do the night and early morning feed with my babies in the bed with me, propped up on cushions.... it was the norm at one time.

Ann, I am so so sorry.

Love

Daff xxxx

How tragic - my thoughts and prayers for all the family.
Rest in peace little one.
Love Mary xx

My thoughts are with you all Ann xx

Oh Ann, so tragic as so easily done!

Love and thoughts for you all

xx

Prayers and thoughts are with you and all the family Ann.
R.I.P Baby AJ
xx

Thinking of you all,especially the young mother who,as you say will forever live with this tragic death.So sad.

Brenda x x

This is so tragic, the poor young mother, my heart goes out to her.

As others say, it is so easily done.I fed my 5 children in bed during the night feed.

Hope Emma can come to terms with the loss of her precious baby Anjay one day.

Eileen xx

Ann,

Your family's sadness is felt by so many. The pain will ease with time, but the 'what if' will remain. Many of us can say - there for the grace of God.

Much love to you all.

Elisabeth
x

Thank you all for your kind thoughts.

The funeral is tomorrow, it is not practical for us to go as we would have to be there by 11.30. My sister (his Gt Nana ) will represent us as she can get there more easily from Hampshire. It is a church funeral and a burial, not sure which church but his father is Nigerian/something (sorry not sure as we have never met him) so his family may be Gospel or free church. They are paying the bulk of the funeral costs with the rest of us, including Emma's dad chipping in. As neither Emma or her Mum would be able to afford it all.

The funeral will be a meeting of cultures as my sister's daughter was married to a Muslim (Emma's dad) who is Morrocon and married to a Polish lass, Emma's sister is married to a Muslim, then Ajay's Father's family and my sister and Emma's Mum, plus no doubt their many friends who are from all cultures and ethnic groups. not sure if Emma's Granddad, my sister ex, will be there as he is a methodist minister down near Torquay.

Please send Emma a few thoughts tomorrow.

Ann
Glos

Rest in Peace Ajay

Regards
Jackie

How sad for you all.

Marion

Still feel so very sad for you all. As you say, she'll probably never get over it but hopefully she will learn to live with it and remember the good things. I still somewhat believe in fate and that if something is meant to be it will be. She must be racked with guilt but there's nothing to say that if she had put him back in bed the same might have happened just a different way. Not really a comfort though, I know. Heart goes out to her and you all.

The funeral sounds like it will be very multicultural.

very sad i do hope mum doesnt blame herself too much but the what ifs will live with her forever. I'm sure tomorrow will be unbearable, i'm so sorry my heart goes out to you all.

Someone sent this poem to me the other day when I had put up the thread about the little baby who died in our local Shopping Mall. They knew I had lost a baby as they had, theirs in sadly similar circumstances to the little one I mentioned.

Your Greatniece will find this loss so much more difficult to bear because of the circumstances, so I do hope she will have been offered counselling at some stage - it is obvious that with such a big family she will have all the love and support she needs but my heart goes out to her and all Ajay's family. Time will ease her pain a little but only to make it more bearable and it will be a long time coming.

I too had my son in bed with me many times because he wouldn't sleep and I too fed him in bed, there but for the grace of God go I and many of us.
Rest in peace little Ajay.

Lizxx



THE CORD
We are connected, My child and I,
By an invisible cord not seen by the eye.
It's not like the cord that connects us 'til birth
This cord can't be seen by any on Earth.

This cord does it's work right from the start.
It binds us together attached to my heart.
I know that it's there though no one can see
The invisible cord from my child to me.

The strength of this cord is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed it can't be denied.
It's stronger than any cord man could create
It withstands the test can hold any weight.

And though you are gone, though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there but no one can see.
It pulls at my heart I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline As never before.
I am thankful that God connects us this way
A mother and child, death can't take it away!

Thank you Liz. Emma has a support worker who phones her every day.

thank you for the poem

Ann
Glos xx

Liz
I have sent a copy of the poem to my sister, and also to my daughter in Law, you may remember that she had our baby Grandson born asleep (Toby) in October 2000.

Ann x

I am so very sorry to read this, my thoughts and prayers go out to the family, and you too, Ann,......


Liz that is a beautiful poem,thank you for sharing it....

Jean x

I am sad to hear of this case.

So many of us have slept with our babies beside us. It always seemed the obvious thing to do after a night feed.
One of my friends did that and couldn't find her baby in the morning. He had slipped down the side of the bed and rolled underneath. Fortunately he was safe and asleep under the bed but it took my friend a while to work out where he was.

I hope the poor girl may find comfort in her family and friends.

Sue
x

Thank you to the person who sent the poem to me - I hope she doesn't mind me sharing it. I am glad Emma has a support worker and hope the poem gives a little comfort to your sister and your daughter in law, Ann. So many lost little ones.....


Lizxx