General Chat

I think you did the right thing, curtailing her time off base might have taught her to be a bit more respectful. If she wants to be treated as an adult, she has to learn to respect your wishes and your home. What a shame she didn't even stop in when she first got back, to spend time with you and the family and then said she might want to bring someone back after her night out and would it be ok?
I too think a letter setting out the way you feel, that she treats the place like an hotel when she comes back, and that you would like to spend time with her too, will pave the way for further discussion and better appreciation by her of having a loving home to come back to when on leave.
Good luck, it's hard being a Mum.
Lizx

When parents all over the country were laying awake wondering where their teenagers were having the adventures that they surely have your daughter brought a boy who evidently caused you no problems and did you no harm to the safest place she knew.The papers are not full of girls being stabbed,raped,drugged or beaten up by unsavoury characters in their parent's homes.

How would you have behaved had she not,quite sensibly,provided herself with a stable and safe home and job to go to had you not wanted her in your home?

Really,this is not meant to be a judgement but another perspective on the situation.

good for you. standing up for what you believe. If only I had done similar to my daughter then she might not be in the mess she is in.
I now have an 18year old son and I know the day will come when he will want a girl to 'sleepover'. Dont know what I will say to him but I am against the principals.

Sharron, can I just say that many years ago when my ex was a policeman he investigated a case where the boy that the girl brought home did infact kill her, in her parents home. So yes it has happened and may do so again.
I understand what you are saying and also understand where you are coming from, but I also understand their fears and the fact the Jessie wants her rules adhered to.
Angela

Hi Ladies

You are right that at least she was home,
the fact still remains that she disrespected our home and made myself and OH feel very uncomfortable in our own house.

Have spoken with her today and she says she is sorry and wants to come home next weekend but part of me still thinks that she doesn't seem to be concerned about what she did.

I think a face to face chat is the best way forward

xx

Glad you were able to talk with your daughter. Maybe it would be an idea to ask her not to arrange to go out on the first evening home if she comes back next weekend, or the next time she comes back, so that you can spend time together and chat, and discuss some 'ground rules'. For example, coming home, dumping her bags (did she expect you to unpack and do her washing maybe?) and rushing off out isn't particularly respectful to you, her family, and as you say she seems to treat the place like an hotel, then she needs to know that you aren't happy with that attitude and things need to be sorted out now. I hope you can find a way for everyone to feel comfortable at home and for your daughter to realise how lucky she is to have family at home to welcome her back when she wants to come home and see her friends as well as her family.
Good luck
Lizx

Being in the forces usually knocks respect into them,,
I think you did the right thing,,Your not disowning her are you? Its your house and your rules,
Sooner or later she will come round and get in touch Or maybe you could write to her telling her how you feel.
At least she left a note saying 'Danny stayed last night'.. She could have not done anything and then the first you would have known about ti was him emerging from her room,

Dont beat yourself up about wanting some respect,,,,,kids are a pain in the backside,,