General Chat

Hi Carole,

I've just read through your thread and think you've been given some good advice.

The only suggestion I would add is that if you want to speak to this lady to let her know how she made you feel and stick up for yourself (as you've every right to do) what about writing it down in advance. You can take your time to make sure you're happy with how you've worded it - along the lines of what Ann of Green Gables said - and then when you approach her if you get tongue tied or anxious or if she interrupts you, you can hand her the polite note and leave the ball in her court.

Hope you get it resolved in a way you're happy with.

Best wishes,

Maria x x

im sorry to hear how rude this lady was to you.god at 73 you would think she would have more manners.
if you are as timmed as you say you are she will probobly be more shocked that youve said anything than what you say to her. been strong & beleive in yourself...you know you can do it deep down im sure.good luck.

Carole you thread has been driving me nuts since I read it!
Why didnt you stop the car and say "apologise or get out and walk". Cheeky old bat!!!!
Glad to hear thing have got better now though!!!
take care
xxxxxx

another way to put nasty people down is to say something along the lines of "Why do you feel the need to be so unpleasant to me?" Usually puts them on the wrong foot!!

Ann GG, you sure your not Irish? cos you sure have the gift of the gab!!LOL
xxx

you saying I got a big gob!!! I have but I'm Welsh!!

LOL , so am I !!! Well half and half!

As you are probably aware Carole, I am shy and quiet myself lol, but all joking aside, what you did you did well, and that was to keep your dignity and self respect and not let her get you cross, so one up there girl.
Try to imagine her naked sitting on the toilet next time you see her, works for me every time.
x

Carole ............. me again lol

First and foremost this woman owes YOU an apology!!

Whether you intend to drive her again or not!!

She knows she was wrong or she wouldn't have said anything to Linda.

Take her to one side and say ' Linda tells me you've apologised to her for your behaviour the other day - well it was me you were rude so perhaps you would like to offer me the same consideration????'

Then after she has or hasn't had the humility to do so, tell her your intentions regarding the lift!!

Don't let it pass just cos you have both spoken independently to Linda !! *wags finger*

Thank you all I've been asleep ! Plenty of good advice here. I'm going to make a note of what to say. and will let you know how is goes!
Really appreciate you all taking time to read and leave replies

you must come back on Monday and tell us how you got on!!!

Carole, I haven't added my two pennorth because i think you have plenty of good advice here. I particularly like McAnne's idea of telling her you know she apologised to Linda and is she going to offer you the same consideration. Then tell her you know her views on illness but you are seeing a doctor and value his/her opinion more than hers. Then tell her, in view of the way she spoke to you in such an uncalled for manner you will not be giving her a lift in future as you can't guarantee you will be well enough to be on time and can't take the stress of her disapproval.

sorry I gave my two pennorth after all Lol!!!

By the way, have you ever been offered a assertiveness course to boost your confidence in situations such as this? It would be a great help.

Ann
Glos

I chickened out! I didn't speak a word to her all day. I decided that when the travel arrangements are made and I am asked to travel with her, I am then going to say no! It seemed such a long time, a week since it happened, to start bringing it up again, I should have
spoken up for myself there and then.
At least now I don't feel so stressed about it, and know I need not show this older woman any respect,
she doesn't deserve any !

Just seen this carole love,


You sound so like me, but as i get older im getting more assertive, Ive had rubbish at work and now wont take it, but it isnt easy!!


Good luck love, stand tall!!


Caz xxx

Don't worry Carole at least you have your self respect and you will get over this, but this woman will always be unhappy.

Stay strong sweetheart.xx

Well done for getting through this stage Carole, and hope you will feel able to say no when it comes to travelling with her again. At least you won't be feeling so stressed now and can get on with life without that hanging over your head.
Today I went to the docs and parked in the carpark behind my house, it is permit only for us people and our visitors. There was a white car there with a space either side near where I needed to go, and as I drove in to the one on the right of the car I glanced across, knowing who I would see. It was the bitch of a neighbour who listened to someone's lies and took against me several years ago. We had all been friends and then something happened because of this older woman and she lied to hide her embarrassment, but said wrong things about me. I never got an apology but it made things very unpleasant in the street and is one of the reasons why I am not sure about moving back to my house for good. The person started damaging my car and eventually it went to court but the prosecutor got the wrong end of the stick from my statement and said there was no case to answer so she got off. She has smirked at me ever since and I find it hard to walk past her, I try to outstare her as often as I can but usually turn away, altho with a sneer rather than my head down. Today I just glanced at her, got out of the car and walked away to the docs. I knew even she wouldn't dare touch the car as there were workmen nearby, thank goodness.
It's a horrible feeling tho, isn't it? I rarely fall out with people and this makes life so horrible in a place where I once was happy to live.
Hope the rest of the week and beyond, goes well for you Carole.
Lizxx
Lizx

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