General Chat

I went to a conference on domestic abuse today ...wow it was powerful stuff

There was a fantastically brave lady speaker who has survived domestic abuse and gone on to help others. She shared her story with us. It was so moving. She read out a poem which i would like to share with you. I hope this is not too upsetting for anyone in a similar situation, that is certainly not my intention . If it is please say and i will delete straight away

xx

I Got Flowers Today
I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today,
and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers...today.

By Paulette Kelly

© Copyright 1992 Paulette Kelly
All Rights Reserved

Yes very powerful indeed. My heart goes out to all who are in this sort of situation and feel trapped.
I am very lucky and have a husband who has and would not raise a finger. I count my blessings.


Lots of love
Tina xx

Very touching. Not sure what to say, as i've been there but i survived. It was a long time ago. I dont think you need to delete xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Linda

I have a friend who works in this field and have a lot of respect for what she does helping people. I know I couldnt do it would upset me too much.

Think we must remember though it is not just woman who are victims there are menthat are abused bytheir partners as well.

d x

Powerful indeed!

Don't delete.

Angela

n

OMG... will phone you tomorrow!

Two women per week are killed by current or ex-partners, and that one in four women in the UK will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.

45% women and 26% men had experienced at least one incident of inter-personal violence in their lifetimes.

One incident is reported to the police every minute.

In any one year, there are 13 million separate incidents of physical violence or threats of violence against women from partners or former partners.

For more information and links to local helplines and refuges for support and advice visit
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

Tina please do phone me i will pm you my mobile number

xx

that is so touching

luv
stray
xxx

I have been there and still am married to him. He has not hit me for a long time as I eventually stood up to him and he is a heart a coward. Now he uses psycological weapons, most of the time I can cope with these but if I am ill and feel weak that is the time I am vunerable. Elaine.

Whippet Lady, I have been married to him for 50 years this August. I have made my home and work near to it, I have bolt holes when I know he is in a mood I either go out for a long walk with my dogs or as I work at the local school I can go up night or day and give him time to calm down, it doesn't usually take long. I know that I am the stronger of the two and at last he has realised this. I do not argue with him I just walk away. I know what you are saying but where would I go if I left my home. Elaine.

I also suffered at the hands of a mental and physical bully.
Leaving was one of the hardest things Ive ever had to do but it was also the best thing Ive ever done. Ive never looked back I feel more alive now than I ever did and I no longer have to watch my every word or action.
No one should have to live their life that way.

Thanks all for your support, I have good friends I can talk to and it appears I also have them on here. Sorry I had to take out the dogs, they know 10.00pm better than I do. They are also my friends and Merlin our recue springer who has very little sight and is deaf,rescued with his problems as no one else wanted him gaurds me against any agro from OH. He is supposed to be his dog but if he gets angry and starts waving his hands about Merlin puts himself between us and snarles, bless his heart. Elaine. Nite nite all dogs say it's bedtime.

elaine, i hope you are safe at home, even if there is no actual violence and your abuse is 'only' verbal and emotional , you are worth so much more than that. tc and remember there are people out there who will help you if you ask for it xx

My Mum was a victim of domestic abuse for 13 years and she had 6 kids to worry about but had the courage to get out in the end. My Dad died a lonely man a few years ago with the result of it.

I just read that back and my Dad died no reason of my Mum just incase people read that wrong.

please dont delete thats powerul tears in my eyes ive have crossed that path thank god i didnt get the flowers if it saves one it as help

grannie your right it is heart rendering xx

very moving and powerfull poem

julia x

Good evening Whippet lady, Sorry I did not answer your greeting but only get on the puter btween 7.30 pm and 10.00. All has been well today, at the moment we are having a quiet period. Thanks for caring. Elaine.