General Chat

That's the way I see it too,Lynda:-)
In a professional environment its not acceptable.

I often think with overreactions like this, there is no wonder chivalry is dying. A lot of the boys at school (when aged 14-15, back in around 2000) were going through a very macho, "lads" kind of phase - pornography plastered across their technology folders etc - and now I wonder if they developed that attitude partly because they were hormonal and partly because they were too scared to open doors etc for girls in case the girls called them sexist.

Our car has just died (well, not died, but it would cost more to fix than the car's worth so my parents aren't bothering) and we went to look at a car yesterday. I know car salesmen lay it on a bit much being nice and interested because they are basically hoping to sell you a car but it was so nice that someone was actually bothering to open car doors for my mum and I when we came back from the test drives!

Jean

You just go on being you.

I'm sure there are situations in life where you wouldn't think to use such friendly terms, but on here or much of your day-to-day dealings, I'd say just go ahead with what comes naturally.

Gwyn

Jean, you just carry on being you.......it is only when it is said in a way meant to offend it sounds offensive, otherwise in London and the S.East most shopkeepers say Ta love! or cheers love......means nothing harmful.....

As for 'girls'.......my MiL goes to her club on a Friday and is always saying 'the girls this or the girls that'......they are all in their 80's or 90's.....lol....

Sally....me too. It is completely disrespectful
and hopefully doesn't happen often these days.

I really am going to have to try very hard to just say thank you for kindnesses in future and not add anything else:)

Jean x.

I don't really mind, as long as its not in a sarcastic way, and that has never happened to me.....

What I am glad to see the back of is the custom before and just after the war, of so-called superiors calling those that they thought beneath them by their surname alone........to me that is disgusting.....

Well, I'm worried now. I call people sweetheart, darlin, petal, my love. I don't mean anything by it and I would hate to think someone would be offended by this. I might add I wouldn't call an older person any of these endearments it's usually younger people and generally girls.
Sue xx

I find them all offensive - honey, duck, love, darling, sweetheart - the list is endless.

My second mother-in-law called me girl - yuk

If you do not know me then don't call me anything at all.

Well, I find it *normal*.....

Sorry if it offends, but I call everyone LOVE.
I am a bit more demonstrative with my friends and family... but i have never thought of love, as an insult.

Hen... hinny... honey.... love... sweetie ....chuck... ????

Deanna X

Lol Gwyn.... I can hear him now!!! Much better to be a lady than a camp follower, wmsl!!

I don't mind any of the colloquial (sp) terms of address, in most circumstances... they are generally used to address someone in an informal way when a name is not known or appropriate.. most other languages have a formalised phrase or word I believe!

However.. I do hate it when I am called by my Christian name by some jumped up little upstart who has knocked on my door uninvited to sell me windows/gas/double glazing..... or telephoned intrusively to persuade me that they have the best/phone/loan/debt buster scheme... if they know enough about me to know my name and telephone number they should know my marital status/correct and polite address (Mr, Mrs Ms, and then surname) and use it.

I agree with you Island about the care homes.... but I do believe that some of the staff develop a very special bond with some of the residents..... and it is acceptable then, but with the permission of the resident or family! All residents should be asked what name they prefer to be called by.... the care standards state that!! I would mention it to the Care manager, as your father objects there is no way he should be addressed like that...

Take care

Love

Daff xxxx

I think you can tell when someones Sincere I dont mind a person calling me ,Love,Sweetie or any other little endearment,I think its sweet.
but....
I had an area manager who called me Honey once,I nearly hit the roof!!
it was most certainly patronizing,and I told him so;-))

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. There is far more going on in the world to be outraged about than a simple word. The guy clearly meant no malice in it.... I think it's very sad. x

I feel the same Norah. I don't mean to be patronising when I say it. It is usually when someone has been kind and polite to me.

Gwyn.....MWAH.

Jean x.

Well I'd rather be called that than something nasty. As a Scot from Edin where everyone seems to call each other dear then now in Yorkshire where it's love I don't mind in the least it's only a saying it doesn't mean anything derogatory or patronizing just a colloquialism
Just my thoughts!

Norah

Roxanne
...not big trouble...
He was new to the job and being shown round.
On leaving the typists' office he said something like "Goodbye and thank you Ladies" but was told by his hostess that that was not pc.
....Stored information away and next time he had to go in the typists' office said, "Good morning.....er.. I was going to say Ladies....but I understand you're not !"

Nobody bothered to mind after that.

Sorry Jean....... :)

Gwyn

Im From Lancashire and it is used alot,I have never thought of it as Offensive.
One of my friends is a georgie,she always uses "Pet" and my best friend is from Glasgow she says "Hen",I surpose were all very Naughty;-))
lol

No dont bother me in the slightest you could be called much worse lol

But if I like someone will call them hun, luv or sweetie but it is meant as a term of endearment I dont call everyone it and not strangers.

Jax xx

I saw James Martin, on t.v. call someone sweet pea and I wish it was said to me lol the young lady he said it to was visibly weak at the knees....I would have been on the floor!! seriously though I would probably not like a sranger being so familiar.

I have a habit of saying if someone does something good - Good Girl, or Good Boy.

When I was working I said this to another woman, who had done something good, and she looked at me and said 'Dont you call me Good Girl, I am a grown woman'

This amused me, because we had an old aunt of 95, who always referred to her friends as 'The Girls' even though they were all well over 80.

As for sweetie, I would not mind, and living in Lancashire at one time, got used to being called Love.

It appears to ME, being an Old'un. thats it SO difficult to pick a term that wont be taken the wrong way..

What WOULD be acceptable? in the manner of addressing some one you dont know?
you cant say Mrs,(missus) cos not everyone is married.....Miss is indeterminate? and I personally hate Ms...... Madam.......?LOL

( I HAVE been known to refer to ladies? younger than me, as girls......LOL)

Bob