General Chat

i keep a memory box,

i have things like birthday cards, pictures,postcards, a necklace from a games machine my grandad won for me when i was four. it's a tatty old thing but i love it. photos, a mixed tape of favourite music etc.

whenever i am feeling a bit lonely i have a little peek. i also have a scrap of a silk nightie that i had to sleep with until i was about 10. lol just for the odcasional moment when i feel down. i think the idea of taking pictures of the things you're getting rid of is a brilliant idea.

good luck,
Leanne.

Oh Helen..it is so difficult getting rid of parents and other relatives things. Sadly we all seem to have to do it at some point in our lives.

My in-laws and my Mum all died withing one year back in the early 1990's, and my Dad died last August.

My OH and myself are both only children and it has been heartbreaking to let some things go...but there is a limit to how much you can keep.

We have done dozens of car boot sales and given loads of things to our local hospice shop...so at least I know some things have gone to people who can make use of the 'good' stuff.

I've still got a lot of my Mum's gold jewellery...that I can't part with...purely because they were Mum's favourites..My daughter has M-i-L's engagement ring and my son has F-in-Laws gold watch plus a few other personal items.

I was delighted to hear my son say that we had to keep an old oak carved display cabinet of my Dad's...as he would like it when we depart this world. Being a joiner, he appreciated the workmanship.

My daughter only likes white gold and silver jewellery..so when the time comes the kids will have to decide what to do with Mum's and my collection of rings..though I have given them strict instructions as to which ones will stay in the family. All I need now is for them to marry and have children of their own.

Deciding what to keep is not easy....but as Kitty said......"Anything that makes you smile or feel comforted when you see it"

oh, yes helen, I had my girls house to clear, and nowhere to put anything but in mine, but got a few thing out, but its the personal things like, clothes, makeup etc,.

You had the same then Taff?

same here helen!

Kitty i have all the happy memories in my head and I think that is the best place for them to be.It's just getting rid of all this stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anything that makes you smile or feel comforted when you see it.

You will know what means the most to you.

OH things maybe good idea to do memory box.
What kind of things would you put in?

i always feel so grateful to Mum and dad as they adopted me,and I know if they hadn't i would have ended up in care as the rest of my siblings did .

Memory box is a good idea but I dont think it for me.
I think I will just keep all my memories in my mind and they will come to me when I call them up.That's just me ,maybe boxes are a good idea for others.
i still have plenty of things around me to remind me of my parents and others.the best one is of my Dad with a great big smile just before he was diagnosed with motor neurone disease and then he lost the ability to smile.That is a precious photo.

My children and my grandchildren all spent a lot of time at my parents home and have memories of the things I have.

Maybe one day I will part with them, but who knows.

Oh Helen, so feel for you hun. A memory box is such a wonderful idea. How about using your camera to take pics of things you might not be able to keep;, you could put those in your memory box too.

(((((hugs)))) hun

xxx

kitty ,my mum had dementia and was in a home.
my children are not really interested in mum's things except for what they can remember as things that their grandma had for them eg.the pots that she put their pocket money in and presents that they gave her.
I don't think kids these days have the same feeling of the past like we do.

When everyones happy that the time is right,the grieving process varies so much it is basically all down to 'time'.Maybe they'd compromise & let some things go?

Taff..................I would say when all of you feel it is time.

I feel for you (((hug)))

P.S I already have a memory box.
xxxxxx

can any of you advise me when is the "right time" to let go of my girls clothes?
I feel it should have been months ago, but her brothers think diffeent, or at the least they are coming up with excuses not to take the to a charity shop?

I have loads of my Mum's "treasures" here............mostly boxed up.

Different situation to yours as Mum is in a home with Alzheimers, with no memory of anything in the last few decades.......................but I can't ever imagine getting rid of any of it.

I think I will pass things down to the grandchildren and great grandchildren and hope one day they will pass them down with a story about the wonderful lady who dusted each item so lovingly every single day:)

I I Baby,I think I have picked out the right things to keep now.trouble is there is so much stuff, and it was all important to them at some point.But I have to put my practical head on and deal with it.

I know-just take your time.Ice's idea is brilliant.All the best. :)