General Chat

Agree with you there Deanna,My OH cousin married a girl who just sits and lets him do it all, even to making a Christmas cake. Needless to say she is as big as an elephant.
Us two daughters in law cook clean etc, but have help from our husbands.
Think son in law can cook, I know he was a hands on father with the five kids.

I taught my boys to cook, wash, iron, clean... and they were treated the same as the girls. They can both sew buttons on too.

The thing is, do the girls they meet know how to cook and clean etc... ?

Sometimes the girls are not good enough for our sons!

Deanna X

What a wonder M-I-L I had, she did not spoil any of her three children, When they were living at home, if they were not home in time for meals, they had to cook their own. If rooms untidy, all mess in black bin liners to sort out, and put away, if not, went in dustbin.
All learned to decorate, including the girl, all learned to cook, clean, wash and iron
What a bonus us three inlaws have had, all now been married 41 years, 40 years and 35 years.
OH brother does all baking, jam making etc.
His sister does all the painting and decorating,apart from bringing up five children.
and my OH can cook, clean decorate, and sort all problems out.

Maybe it was because Mum had been left a widow at the age of 45, and had to work and the kids had to help with money and household jobs.

At her funeral, we all said how happy us inlaws had been with a mother in law that had not spoiled her kids.

the title of this thread refers to "child" A child he ain't even though he's acting like one - his parents obviously are never going to cut the umbilical cord and he's not bothered. If they cared for him they'd kick him out - doing him no favours at all by treating him like a child

My friend has three brothers. She and her elder brother are married.

The other two brothers are now in their late 50's early 60's and never left home because as my friend says, her mum had them from their cradle to her grave.

She passed away a couple of years ago and they are still living together in the family home and squabble like a pair of old women!

She thinks they are a slab short of a patio!

Aileen xxx

My daughter and her fiance live between me and his parents. Daughter pays a minimal amount to me each month as I have lost a room to them, but I never clean it (neither do they!!) They pay nothing to his parents - but I know his mum cleans his room!.
I don't cook for them, being a carnivore and them being vegetarian & vegan respectively!!
I do their washing (mainly daughters - because it makes a full load) but don't iron (she's known as 'Miss Wrinkly' at work )LOL
Even if they're going to his parents, they meet up at my house as I am nearer to where they work - they go on to his parents house from here.
His mum cooks for them BUT phones me up to see where they are as their dinner's on the table and they're late etc - they hate that!
I don't drive and daughter introduced an allegedly spayed cat into the house who went on to have kittens. I expect them to get the cat food - even though I have 'adopted' the kittens - the cat food weighs a ton.
If my daughter had a 15 minute walk - I would expect her to do it or get the bus!! Occasionally she phones her fiance to pick her up from work - (30 minute walk), if she has shopping, but usually walks home.
If I go away for the weekend, they have to stay here and look after the cats, whatever their plans may have been (who was responsible for them? - not me)
Her elder sister (2 children) still thinks I spoil her!!!

maggie

My middle child, a son left home, but then came back because it was so expensive out there.......he finally left home at 30 and is now married with a baby.....

He did everything for himself, and I left him to his own devices.....he was virtually a lodger, apart from the fact that we loved him to bits.......and oh boy......did I suffer from the empty nest syndrome when he left.......

......treating adults like children does them no favours at all, it is not spoiling them.....it is ruining their lives......how can they be expected to find out about what life is like out there if you are always behind them, picking up the pieces.....

glad to see that the board members feel much the same way.....

I think this lad needs a shake. Or else someone to tell his mates, if he has any, so they can give him a slap.

Just to add a bit.......

When the parents go on holiday he takes a week off work and stays in the house. even the cats aren't allowed out!

I've gone wrong somewhere. I'm running around after my kids (it's OK they're all school age) and my parents.

I stay at home till i was 34....I just knew which side me bread was buttered

thank goodness my Grandsons have been brought up to be self sufficient. Oldest at 19 is already living in a shared house and cooks for himself and his mate. Mate does the washing up. And that is proper meals too not convenience stuff. Other two at 16 and 18 can also cook.

Ann
Glos

And I thought mine was bad. Just got off the phone telling him to do things for himself he laughed and said that is what Mums are for.( had to phone to make arragements for him to get some thing)
He was 30 when he eventually left home. Mind you had taken him 5 years to get back on his feet after being taken for a ride by an older woman.
Now he has his own house does his own washing cleaning and cooking and apart from going messages for him I can't really complain his answer is I am at work can't do it myself.
After reading about that lad I will count myself lucky.
Germaine
x
Oh his excuse for not phoning himself was he was busy and covered in thinners and of course he had to have a bath before he football started so it is you do it mum.

Sue this is the whole point.

Parents today have to help their children, of any age.
I heard a couple on the radio this morning, aged parents who live in America.
They said that there is no money, and they have to help their children now.
It is all over.
Some people just don't realise just how hard times are.
The picking hi up and taking him to work... that is a bit puzzling... but then I know nothing about them.

Goodnight my friends, see you in the morning.
Deanna X

I`ve got a friend who does her sons bed linen -washes it- as they won`t put it out in their back gardens in case it gets stolen . one is 32 , other 42 , both live in their own flats!!!
Ros xx

oh my goodness

i know i do anything for my son and daughter
(gotta get son in min from work,)
but why dont she wait till his train gets in and then pick him up,
avent he got a mobile

Somehow i cant see him getting a wife who would tolerate him, imagine marrying a bloke whose lived with his Mum for that long lol!!


Caz xx

great!!! I was on the phone to my sister one time when her son was just leaving the house - she called out after him "You lunch is behind the door and did you remember to clean your teeth" He was forty at the time!! She is a control freak, won't cut the apron strings ever and they are happy with the situation

In the long run they are absolutely NOT doing him any favours. As mentioned previously he will not be able to cope when he is left without them. I
think the main thing about having children is to prepare them for an independent life.
Perhaps it is the parents being selfish because they do not want their son to leave them, therefore they molly coddle him.
Not saying this is so in all cases.
Sue

If he makes a good enough offer :-)))