General Chat

Dear Angelina

I am most pleased to learn that you are fond of sterling silver. As for drip trays ………………………. then your luck is well and truly in. For I just happen to be able to get my hands on plenty right now. They usually retail at £230 each but I can let you have one for £12 or, if you are already on the lookout for Christmas presents, I can do you for a special price of 10 for £119.99.

I must say that your preferred holiday destinations really suit you, I can imagine that they are home from home for you. I normally holiday on my yacht, which is berthed at Monte Carlo, and cruise around the Med popping into those more select harbours like Portofino, Vilamoura and Capri. I like to call in on some old clients, the Grimaldi family, while I'm down that way. I also have a couple of weeks at Kloisters during the winter and a business contact of mine, Richard, also loans me his small Caribbean island for a couple of weeks.

I will, of course, be only too pleased to see you before Mrs F, shall we say 2 pm ?

Your idea for two pillars with the Windsor Royal Crest, at the end of your driveway is, if I may say so, most refined. Might I suggest that your pillars be made of Duchy of Cornwall sandstone surmounted by the figure of a lion with the crest hand carved just below the pedestal ?

I am afraid that there is a two year waiting list for them. However I know where I can get my hands on a couple and, once you have decided you want them, I can get them for you overnight.

Shall we say £500 the pair ?

Whilst we are on the subject of the approach to your house can I ask you if you have thought about Peacocks ?

I know that they are noisy, messy and wander all over the place but I can offer you a nice line in remote controlled replicas. They are clean, don’t need feeding and look and behave exactly like the real thing.

What’s more you will have complete control over where they go, and when you want them to display their tails you can ensure that the rear end is facing Mrs F next door.

And for a small extra charge audio relay boxes can be fitted to each end of the Peacock, giving you complete control over a variety of sounds !

Perhaps, for a small retainer, I can offer you some more ideas to wet your appetite for uniqueness.

Sincerely,

Mick

Why thank you Julie -Ann
the paper does go on sideways doesnt it?????
I wish the painting fairy had hit me on the head before I got my paste out!
Angiexx

lmao
you write so well angelina windsor

and speak such good english
unlike meself in it

i do hope you chose the paper to your standard and glued it on right way up,
heaven forbid it should be the wrong way up,
lol
i dared to contemplate emulsioning my kitchen as my man that does , hasnt
however the good fairys were watching and hit me on head with wand for making such and error in contemplation

so when said micky above finishes at yours send him yer

My Dear Michelangelo

I can tell you are a person of utmost good taste and breeding and I am placing myself in your capable hands. I am particularly fond of sterling silver (I believe Her Majesty is aswell) as you appear to be but I must admit I do not have a drip tray and would be grateful if you can tell me where I may purchase one from-it sounds extremely useful and I would be pleased to view yours when you arrive.
Which brings me to my appointment time and Mrs Fortesque. She obviously knows you are calling on me and is trying to impress with her solid oak front door and triple coachlight lamp posts-how vulgar!
Now, I would be very grateful if you could possibly squeeze me in before Mrs Fortesque and her vulgar request-oh it makes me shiver just thinking about it,it will be like Blackpool illuminations,of course I have never been to Blackpool you understand but I have heard "people" talk about it and I can say with fervour it is a place I will never visit.We holiday in Scotland and Windsor as I do like to be near my Royal connections,it makes one feel rather special you know. Where do you holiday Michelangelo,somewhere very tasteful no doubt- I can tell as we are both of a similar mind.
Anyway back to my appointment ,I dont mind at all if you drop into the conversation with Mrs Fortesque that you will be tending to my needs very shortly,no doubt she will be green with envy,she is that sort of woman you know.
I would also like to discuss with you an idea I have to place 2 pillars at the end of my red crete print drive each displaying the Windsor Royal crest .I know you will offer some very tasteful ideas for these. Please dont tell Mrs Fortesque about the crimson flock wallpaper with the embossed E:R that you can alter to A ,she will only want the same. Could you also show me your sterling silver drip tray , it sounds most interesting.
Looking forward to my earlier appointment with you

regards
Angelina Ballerina Windsor

PS I assume the special one off knock down prices are just for me- sounds super I must say!

Dear Angelina

Yes my name does have a significant family history. I come from a long line of high class decorators and I believe my particular name has been around in the family since the 15th century, when we specialized in painting ceilings. In fact that original flair has resurrected itself in me and my home, a converted small church, has had the ceiling meticulously painted with a vibrant scene of my own creation.

I call it my Pristine Chapel.

I can tell you are a woman of sophistication and sound judgment and my expertise will be the perfect compliment to your most innovative ideas. You can rest assured that your trust in me will be greatly rewarding and I shall fit you up with the very best that money can buy ………………….. and all at one-off knock down prices especially for you.

I shall be most pleased to call upon you next Tuesday, however I already have an appointment with Mrs Fortesque at 3.15 pm. She wants a quote from my sister company, Mick’s Building Services, for a traditional solid oak front door and triple coachlight lamp posts all along her driveway. I shall not be very long and I can pop round to you after I have seen her.

Unless, of course, you would prefer an earlier appointment.

You can rest assured that I will leave my noticeable van in a prominent place on your driveway and that I shall ensure that your drive is fully protected by a sterling silver drip tray placed under the engine.


Assuring you of my utmost attention at all times.

Mick

I am sure you will get the hang of it soon Angie lol (sorry, couldn't resist that lol)

Alas, poor Toby is long gone and at the mo I don't have any pets - I do miss them still.

Hope the papering goes bette today Tuesday.

Lizx

hi angie,
sorry went off yesterday so didnt answer
yes my kitty was ok after a wash and rub down, didnt go up any ladders after that though !!!

Hi Marilyn-yes dont you just wish you'd never started sometimes eh? Ah well I eventually got some paper up except I measured the walls wrong and cut three peices the wrong length-was the air blue or what!!

~~~~~~~~~~ waves to Daff x

Hi Liz-sounds like we would work well together-we could get our cats to do the arty bits lol
Angie xx

roflmao what a picture this paints for me if you will excuse the pun!

I once put a paint tray and roller on a chair to go to the loo, when in the midst of decorating, and my cat put his two front paws up to have a nosey and tipped the tray over himself. As soon as I realised I went after him, followed lilac footprints down the stairs and all over the house till I could catch the cat and wash the emulsion off him. Then had to work my way back and clean up all the paint marks etc. He was aptly named Toby, and he really was a toby too, always in mischief!
Hope you get a better bucket next time lol
Lizx

Wmsl...... this is brilliant......... were you two moonlighting as scriptwriters for Keeping up Appearances? lol

Love

Daff xxx

l loved your accout on the paste lm so glad that l chose to just paint over the paper that was up lv been moving furniture with the help of my gardener who like me will have a badback tomorrow. just got to put the new curtains up now so must be off. Gardener only comes every 2 weeks to do the big jobs lm not that well off!!
Marilyn

My dear Michelangelo,
what a truly charming name..is it a family name that has been passed down through the generations? Rather like my own Royal connections of course.
Well you sound like a marvellous company and as I dont know the first thing about interior design and you do, I am putting my self in your trustworthy and very capable hands.

Now down to business, Mrs Fortescue is not a refined lady like myself, she is one of the nouveau riche and it shows and as for calling her bathroom The Royal Privy Seal Of Approval...well how common.Mine will be called The Throne Room which sounds much more regal and tasteful dont you think?

Could I just point out Michelangelo that I have no need to keep up with Mrs Fortesque...I am already far superior to her and my genuine Tudor detached with the red crete print drive and antique cast iron lamp to the right of my royal blue front door will surpass her wildest dreams once it has been tastefully reddesigned using your expertise, and if that involves having my house completely redecorated then so be it,I trust you implicitely.

I have just glanced through my genuine royal calf leather day to day diary embossed with the royal coat of arms and I am free on Tuesday of next week at precisely 3.15pm and I am a stickler for punctuality Michelangelo as I am sure you will be,(besides which Mrs Fortesque will be outside polishing her peonies at that time).
Please do feel free to park your vehicle with the Royal crest on my crete print drive ensuring the crest can be seen from both sides, I will leave the angle up to you.
I have pencilled you in using my gold propelling pencil hoping that you will confirm this as soon as
possible.

Could you please bring the sample of the crimson flock wallpaper with the embossed E:R which can be altered to A as I am very interested in seeing it,it sounds very tasteful and very Royal.

I look forward to hearing from you
Yours in anticiaption
Angelina Ballerina Windsor

Careful Mick, those B Tudors had a very Nasty Habit of Chopping Peoples Heads Off,if they disagreed with them.aka, Henry 8th. Tread Carefully. **M**.:o)>.

Cariad snap :)
~~all

mick LOL - I think they need you as a script writer for so called sit coms on TV. You make me laugh.

Yes Angie, Mick is an abbreviated name, but it is short for Michelangelo.

I can do you a nice crimson flock embossed diagonally every twelve inches with E:R in gold leaf lettering. If you want it more personalised then my creative junior associate can change the E's to A's pretty quickly.

It's funny you should mention Mrs Fortesque. I refitted her bathroom for her last year. She insisted on the very best regal fittings and also got me to put up a plaque incorporating the monarch's coat of arms.

She calls it her Royal Privy Seal of Approval.

If you want to keep up with the Fortesques then you'll probably need me to quote for a complete house makeover.

Please be assured that my van is ex Royal Mail and the royal crest is very prominent on either side of it. It will therefore not look out of place when Fortnums are delivering to you.

Mick

>>>>>>>>>>>>>come back I was only joking !!
Angie x

Aaargghh!! (runs away into the night........)

Oh Romanay-you are no fun lol-give me your address now,I know you want me to come round really!
Angie x

Mick my good man-(is that abbreviated from Michael)do you have any samples from any of the Royal Houses-I rather fancy a regal look, nothing too ostentatious but I do have some royal nobility amongst my ancestors and I really feel I must pay homage to them by incorporating a little of their heritage within my Tudor style(genuine not mock) detached house with red crete print driveway and antique cast iron lamp to the right of my royal blue front door. We (the royal we) have standards to maintain within our select cul de sac (unadopted,we dont want the council owning OUR road) and therefore could you call on me at your convenience,but particularly when Mrs Fortesque next door is in and look me over to see if you can accomodate me?

Thankyou so much

Mrs Angelina Ballerina-Windsor

PS do you have the royal crest on your transport?