General Chat

( Inadvertantly)
From small stories I have written on here the older peeps will probably remember me as the unfortunate, befuddled, older mum for whom things always go wrong!! Honestly! Hand on heart I do set out with the best of intentions BUT, they always seem to backfire! (See old threads it could only happen to you mum!) The weird thing for me is that these mishaps always appear to happen when my daughter is visiting or, could it be they are a daily occurrence that I am unaware of, as I go blithely along the way?. I ask myself have I now reached an age where the abnormal becomes, (for me) the norm and I don’t give two hoots about people having a laugh at my expense! I defy convention, (within reason) and YES! I even wear purple although it clashes with the burst blood vessels on this tired old face. LOL Had I not refused the offer to become one of those older nude calendar girls, and not, I hasten to add because I have an issue with nudity, Oh!no,my refusal was only down to the fact the boobs have now drooped so far South they kept getting trapped in the camera mans shutter! If, dear peeps you are still with me after catching sight of the length of this thread I hope you enjoy my latest mishap!



I was at the till of, in all places, “The Pound Shop” when I noticed it! Hanging from a cheep tatty plastic mug tree were dozens of necklaces in assorted colours, reds, blues, greens, you name a colour and it was there. I ambled towards the display not wanting to appear too eager, well, you do have to show some decorum, don’t you? Even in the pound shop! Would I find one, I asked myself as I feverishly pushed the unwanted colours aside searching for the particular shade of green that would go with my new jumper. Eureka! Yes there it was the very thing I had searched for this past few weeks. Detangling it from all the others (wouldn’t you know, it was at the very bottom of the pile) I examined it closely. Come on now, it was, after all, going to cost me a pound! The round medallion was covered in green enamel with a silver (coloured) leaf embossed on its surface, really pretty. I had my doubts regarding the strip of black leather thong but reasoned I could swop it over to my silver chain when I got home. I made my grand purchase and left the store more than a little pleased with myself. I found on reaching home that I could not change my silver chain over to fit the medallion so had to settle for the leather necklace although I have to admit I felt it was too “young” for this old bird!

It was obvious that my colleagues at the O.A.P. club had the same exquisite taste as myself! The Oh’s and Ah’s as they admired my latest bauble made this apparent!
“Tell me asked eighty year old Sally, “Wherever did you get such a perfect match to go with your jumper?”
“Err I had it sent to me from a friend who lives abroad” I replied fingers crossed behind my back! Well now, I surely wasn’t going to tell them Id got it from the pound shop!!!
“Oh, it is stunning; I would just love one of those in purple”
“I will write to my friend and see what she can do” I replied hoping to salve my guilty conscience as I made a mental note to get her a purple one next time I was in the pound shop. What is it with older people and the colour purple? LOL

One week later

Hubby: Did you buy yourself anything nice when you went to town today dear?
Me: “No, just some school shirts and blouses for the grandchildren, I won’t bother posting them as they will be here soon. Mind you, I did have a strange experience. I saw a rather unkempt young man staring at me while I was in the shop. Strangely enough, I saw him again later and he cautiously approached me and asked “Have you any to spare” I did offer him a pound and he just looked at me as though I was crazy and walked on without taking it”
Hubby (patiently) “ No dear, you may have misunderstood him, he was probably selling the Big Issue”.
Me. “Well, I never noticed any newspapers”.
Hubby. “Never mind love, you did your best”.



Cont. below

Saturday Night.

We really had not wanted to go to the party. It was a “young peoples affair” but how could we refuse when it was a twenty first for the great grandson of one of my oldest friends? We agreed to show our faces for an hour or so and then make our excuses and leave. Anyhow, one glass of wine always found me ready for bed! The hour turned into two and halfway through I had need of the ladies. As usual at these events it was full of young girls repairing their make up and the usual giggling of “Did you notice him? He’s “dead fit” I joined the queue for the loo and noticed the girl in front turn to stare at me after a nudge from her mate. They both started giggling which I must admit left me feeling rather uncomfortable! Was my mascara running? Did they think I was too old to be attending this party? Surely not. There were quite a number of people my age in the hall. They were still giggling as I went inside to spend the proverbial “penny” I was glad to leave the toilet as the ghastly smell of whatever air freshener they used was making me feel sick,

It was the second day of my daughter and grandchildren’s visit. Apart from the trouble about finding a place to wee, which I wrote about a few days ago, day one had gone swimmingly. Tonight we were going out for a meal, so I went to put on best bib and tucker. I felt good, having had my hair cut and set that morning and wearing my favourite green jumper and of course my now beloved green pendant.
“Mum, you look really lovely” cried my girl as I entered the kitchen that was until she spied my necklace.
“Good God, why are you wearing that “she cried as she pointed to my necklace?
“Lovely isn’t it “I said as I ran both thumbs under and raised it so she could have a better look.
“Mum, what is the leaf that’s on it?”
“Err, I’m not sure darling, I think it’s a maple leaf”
Had my darling girl suddenly gone mad? Why was she now on the floor shrieking uncontrollably as she clutched her sides as though in severe pain? Dear God, she must be in pain, I could see the tears rolling down her face!!
“What’s wrong” I cried! (Now truly worried.)
“Oh Mum, it’s a it’s a (now speechless) and now even more gales of what I now realised were tears of laughter!
“Mum, (wiping her eyes) it’s a cannabis leaf”!!
“So what”? I asked
“Well, the people who wear them are usually supporters or users of cannabis!”
“No! You must be mistaken; I bought it at the pound shop”!
This brought forth even more shrieks of laughter! I knew it! I just knew it! When I saw her head go from side to side in disbelief and that look in her eyes that proclaimed “It could only happen to you Mum”
I was in no position to contradict her. A University graduate who had worked at Glastonbury and other music festivals to supplement her fees knew more about these things than I did!
Dear God! So many things fell into place, the young man who had approached me asking “Have you any to spare” and the giggling girls in the smelly (?) toilets.

(Mental note) Sally dear, I’m afraid my friend, you know the one who lives abroad, could not manage to get you a necklace like mine. Will you settle for this brooch with the nice purple stone instead??

Hurry up Bridget...its like reading about my mother...


taps fingers on desk waiting...

PMSL......Ahhhhh Bridget thats lovely...pssss if I send you a £1.00 will you get my very good friend one BC please ?

roflmao that's hilarious.

Bridget........................that's brilliant !!lololol

xx

Oh Haley! I could never inflict anything like that on the lovely B.C.! Pushes all the others aside as she mutters " There is only room for one dizzy old mum on this board. (Hums "High Noon" with necklaced drawn)
Bridget x

I really enjoyed reading that Bridget.....LOL

So.....are you still going to wear your lovely necklace ?

Amanda xx

thats is side splitting,,,brilliant,

now Hayley wants one..........its not for BC at all,,,,,,,,,,,))

im absolutley peeing my pants here, thank you so much

thats the best thread ive ever read on here

im glad im not the only one, who mishaps happen to

thank you again Bridget

xxLynnxx

Birdget it reminds me of the time my mum asked me what the karma suture (sp) was....I told her it was a Indian curry cook book but no she insisted going and asking for it in the library....

Great anecdote, and well written too!

Peace and Love Bridget!!

Dee
x

P.S. Were the purple ones heart-shaped by any chance, lol!

Amanda, I have wondered what to do with it, who could I pass it on to? Sadly, I could not think of anyone dumber than me. Mind you, there is always EBay LOL.
P.S. Sally was over the moon with her purple brooch but the ungrateful old G-T said she would still have preferred the necklace. God, I thought! don't even go there!

oooooooooooooo Dee giving some secrets away that you may of had a mis-spent youth there ....,lol

Dee, Would you beleive the penny has only just dropped! I I was sitting here thinking I must look out for a purple heart shaped penent for Dee, she must want one for a special occassion! Ye Gods! what am I like?

Well done Bridget you painted the pictures so well!!

I find it is true that the older we get the more we see the funnier side of life, and I for one , laugh at myself more than I ever did when younger (especially when my Grandsons are around) lol

Mau xx

I am far to young to know about such things....BC told me about them when she was a rocker. :-))))))))))

Wonderful Bridget! Can't wait for the postie to arrive:-) lol BC XX

B.C. You omitted to say what colour you wanted. I think with your hair colouring it has to be green. If the orders keep coming thick and fast naturally I shall have to charge postage. LOL

Mau, I think old age is fab. At last I can do and say anything I want and just be considered a daft old bat.
Bridget x

LOL Bridget...sorry to confuse you!


Hayley if you want the troof... my teenage years were all during the 60's, but I never even got a whiff of a joint or ever got offered any illegal substance! I would have run a mile if I was.

I did get hooked on the ordinary cigs though and still haven't managed to give em up :-((

Dee
x