Genealogy Chat

Hi everyone,

This is a long shot and I am a total beginner at this stuff but I'm hoping somebody out there can give me a place to start.

My mother was born in 1942 in Hampshire and is still alive. She didn't find out until she was 70 years old, several years ago, that her birth father was not the man she had grown up believing it was. Her mother passed away in 1984 and she found out from her older sister that they did not share the same father. All she was able to tell my mum was the following:

His name was either Darryl KING or KNIGHT (we don't know either the surname or how he spelled his first name, it could be Daryl or Darrell for example).

We think he lived in FARRINGDON, in Hampshire. My mum was born in Four Marks and I believe he paid for Nanny's maternity care when my mum was born prematurely.

We believe he died suddenly from a brain aneurism or similar when my mother was small, so it would have been around the mid 1940's when he passed away.

My grandmother was divorced and we know she did love my mother's birth father but sadly he passed away before they could make a life together.

Ever since, Mum has found it hard that she doesn't really know who on earth she is and as her only child, neither do I. An entire half of our family tree is missing - but what hope do we have of ever being able to fill the gaps when we don't even know her birth father's name for certain? I found Mum's birth certificate online but it doesn't say who the father is on it. Is there anywhere else it may be recorded?

Apologies for the long ramble, I would really love to help give Mum some closure but I just have no idea where to start or if there is even any point. Thank you so much for reading this far :-)

Hi Jacqueline

I looked on Freebmd, but I can't find anybody named Daryl (any spelling) dying in Hampshire between 1930 and 1960.

I looked at births too, between 1900 and 1930, and found Daryl J Ellis born in 1911 in Suffolk - registered at a place called Mutford. But his Mother's maiden name was Knights, so could he be the man you're looking for?

As you say you are a total beginner hopefully this won't offend you, Freebmd.org.uk enables you to search for births, marriages and deaths, from 1837 till 1997 (I think) in the UK, you can play about with different names and dates until you hopefully find what you are looking for.

Good luck

Your best bet is for mum to do her DNA

I prefer ancestry for it as it will upload the results and find possible relative connections

They could be close or cousins etc but by a roundabout route she may narrow down some family connection

The Daryl j Ellis found can’t be the one as he died in 1976 in Australia

Do you know if your mum was christened?

By law, her mother would not have been able to name the baby's father unless he was present at the registration, but often fathers were named on a baptism record.
Being a premature baby might have made them think about having the baby christened.....

If he was around in 1941 / 1942 it suggests that he had a job that was considered a reason why he was not called up to go off to war.
He would therefore probably be recorded on the 1939 listings.

I agree with Shirley, d a is the only hope you have.
BUT this might not lead you to the right man but it might just lead you to a family group.

If your mother does an Ancestry test the results will be split into two. Unfortunately they don’t tell you which is which parent. If you are lucky you will be able to work it out either from known family matches or a particular ethnicty result.

Good luck

Have you found your mother's birth registration on freebmd?

It would give you info about what the registrar was told at the time.

Jacqueline says she has the birth certificate, found on line. I wonder if this was actually the baptismal entry.

On the assumption that Jacqueline’s mother married ( no offence intended) she would have to have produced her birth certificate. So either she didn’t notice a different name
or the man she knew as her father claimed her as his.

I rather think the poster has found the birth registration record....not the cert.

It shows an MMN

Jacqueline………….

Would you consider giving us your grandmother's birth name, married name and - if you know it - her birth year.

No-one with the forename Darryl - or any variant - in Farringdon on 1939 register

I don't think you needed to show a birth certificate to be married :-S

I certainly didn't!!!!!!!!

It’s so long ago I thought we did.
You do have to show it for other things, such as passports. I think I had to produce it when I first went for jobs, and not just the civil service, in the 60’s.

I didn’t but as I was 20 I had to get dad to give written permission

Hubby was 23 and he didn’t have to produce a birth cert

This was late 50,s

Mine was after the 1970’s marriage act so things may have changed then? I can’t find anything either way. Thinking about Shirley having to get fathers permission how would we have proved we were old enough not to need that permission ?

A birth certificate is definitely on the current list of possible proof of id.

Anyway, if Jacqueline’s mother had ever had a passport she would have needed the birth certificate.
Jacqueline, have you asked your mother if she had ever seen it or actually have it?

Added, the, Farringdon villages would have been very small villages at the time, so if there are no similar surnames in 1939 it would suggest that he was an infomercial.

Thank you so much everyone, I so appreciate your help! I did take a look on FreeBMD but it only showed the same information as the rest. In answer to ErikaH's question I can give the following information on my grandmother:

Birth name - Rose Ellen May Hughes (daughter of James Hughes and Elizabeth Cooper)

Married name - Rose Ellen May Fletcher. She married Horace William Fletcher but he wasn't my mother's father. Rose and Horace had three other daughters together before my mum was born.

DOB: May 31st 1907 in Southwark I believe, she was from the East End.

My mum told me that when she was a small girl she was 'rummaging around where she shouldn't have been' and she found what must have been her birth certificate with another man's name on, not Horace. She had always felt she was 'different' but never spoke to her mother about finding the certificate, she just remembers seeing this Darryl King/Knight's name on it - but if she was that small perhaps she read it wrong or remembered it wrong. Any other information she had on the man came from her sister a few years ago but she was already in her late seventies by then and never realised that mum knew nothing about him.

So I'm guessing that Mum's birth certificate may hold the key to his true identity but it's strange if she has previously been christened (I'm picking she was, as I know she is definitely confirmed), and also married - plus she may potentially have needed it when she emigrated to NZ in 2000 - that she still has no real evidence or recollection. Curiouser and curiouser! I've always had an interest in tracing my ancestry but it's become more important in recent years due to medical history and things like ancestral trauma. I would love to know more about where these things may have potentially come from - as well as the hope of finding a whole new branch of the family! Will definitely look into a DNA test.

Thanks again so much for all your help and advice so far!

Use the references on the freebmd entry and buy the certificate from the GRO - then you will be able to see if there is, indeed, another man’s name on it.

As a married woman, your grandmother could have got away with using her husbands name as the father.

The freebmd entry suggests that your mother was indeed registered with her mother's married name.
Unless the mystery father was present or had given written confirmation of parenthood, he is unlikely to be named on the birth certificate.

EDIT
At that time, a child's surname was not shown as such, but was implied by the name given in the 'father's name' column.

Which leaves the question... What document and information did your mother come across all those years ago?

Is your aunt still alive?.. Would she consider a DNA test to discover whether or not they are half or full sisters?

If theAunt is no longer alive and you decide to go down the dna route then one of your Aunts children would do.

Added: it ,looks as though Rose married again , to Philip Harwood in 1955.
Ancestry gives this in her maiden name but freebmd states it shows as Hughes or Fletcher.

Did Rose also marry Victor Baker in 1940?

Marriages Jun 1940 (>99%)
>>Baker Victor Fletcher Surrey Mid.E. 2a 828 Scan available - click to view
Edkins Rose F Penrose Surrey Mid.E. 2a 828 Scan available - click to view
>>Fletcher Rose E M Baker Surrey Mid.E. 2a 828 Scan available - click to view
Penrose Frederick R Edkins Surrey Mid.E. 2a 828


and Horace William?


Marriages Jun 1952 (>99%)
Davidson George W Sear Essex S.W. 5a 448 Scan available - click to view
FLETCHER Elsie M FLETCHER Essex S.W. 5a 448 Scan available - click to view
FLETCHER Horace W FLETCHER Essex S.W. 5a 448 Scan available - click to viewAdditional information available - click to view
FLETCHER Horace W STEVENS Essex S.W. 5a 448 Scan available - click to viewAdditional information available - click to view
FLETCHER Horace W HUGHES Essex S.W. 5a 448 Scan available - click to viewAdditional information available - click to view
HUGHES Elsie M FLETCHER Essex S.W. 5a 448 Scan available - click to view
SEAR Enid M DAVIDSON Essex S.W 5a 448 Scan available - click to view
Stevens Elsie M Fletcher Essex S.W 5a 448 Scan available - click to view

EDIT This has been proved to be a different Rose marrying Victor Baker so please disregard this.