General Chat

goodness, so many of you who need a response on here since I looked in yesterday.

but first....Ooof! That was a good day, but very hot and I am shattered now with all the walking in the heat. arrived at the showground at 9am and left at 3pm, could have gone on, probably missed something but it just got too hot and we were drinking buckets (cider lunch time then water and coke. got quite a few plants to put in now, three hostas, six aquilegias a white mallow a small Acer and a tall yellow flower , the name escapes me. also bought some sweet chili sauce, asparagus and a beef and ale pie for dinner tonight. Oh yes and a butterfly on a rock. fantastic show at Malvern (Malvern spring garden Show), but very crowded, I think they have done well this year.

I have just taken some photos of the garden as it looks very 'cottagy' and pretty. Haven't downloaded them yet as they are on the end of the Lake District ones. Pity we can't put photos on here.

Ben, please come on here as soon as you feel the urge to self harm and discuss it with anyone who is around. Please don't press on your pulse. Why do you worry about your breathing? would it help to talk about that?

Y Caz, Deanna good to see you on here, also Sue.

Also nice to 'meet' you Whitenancy. This is a wonderful thread, come back and visit it again, always somebody around night and day.

Mary, can you not put up something to stop the children from climbing up, as Liz suggested, trellis maybe.

gill, sorry you are not feeling great, you know where I am if you want to PM me.

Wavyone, It is good that you are getting support from your family now, lean on them and they will help you.


Better go and help OH sort out the new plants (well supervise where he puts them really. It is so hot we have been forced to put out the hanging baskets before they burn up.
Ann
Glos

Hi Deanna, the door was locked (we have keypad locks for her outside doors) but we were all outside in the garden, and Gareth escaped up the stairs with nobody noticing him, apparently sarah did too, eyes in the back of ones head aren't enough with those two LOL.
I seem to be fine again this morning, when those bad days hit, I can hardly put one foot in front of the other . Just looking outside makes me feel positive this morning, it's so tidy and looked as if someone cares. The neighbour took the time to say she liked what we were/are doing out there. It's an inch at a time. The 200 year old lilac is covered with white blooms, looks lovely despite being at 45 degrees LOL. I have an expert coming on the 29th (Meg's b'day) to assess my garden/lawn/trees for free. So we'll see if they have any suggestions for helping this lilac move to a bit more upright position. It's the neighbourhood curiosity,currently propped up with a long piece of wood - several people have stopped to comment. It is believed to be AT LEAST 200 years old. I must get Colleen to take a photo.

Sending encouragement and hugs to those who are down, it means so much when I'm down, for someone just to say they care, even if their issues are different, they are helping me to keep walking in my shoes.
WhiteNancy welcome to this amazing thread. we have friends here. And unbelievable support.
Ben I hope you are having some professional help with the notion of self-harm, I've been there, please remember it only take a second to make a decision which will change the rest of your life. Can you try forcing yourself to take your pulse on your wrist instead of the neck? Please come on here for a chat when you are feeling desperate, if there's no one else to talk to, there's usually someone on here, because of the varied time zones.
Hugs
Mary

Ben so glad to see you, but now a bit more worried about you.
do you have any help for these feelings Ben?
Glad you are back anyway.. just keep posting.... something will hot home eventually.
God Bless... X

Gill, you come back when you are ready.
Giving yourself somethin g else to worry about is not going to help you. X

Mary your heart must have been in your mouth.. your grandchildren... the idea of what could have happened.
Can't you lock that door?

Have a wonderful mothers day.
I will be back later everyone, but dinner is ready... gotta wash my hands and be at the table like a nice well brought up litte girl!!! Little???? ha ha ha

love to all,
Deanna XXXX

I dont think my family knew how bad I was and now that the penny has dropped they are spending more time with me..... going to try to go to the car-boot sale today,but not sure about the crowds of people....
did'nt sleep much last night, my brain would not shut ddown and my body is very painful,trying to feel positive about things, but its hard.....................at least the sun is shinning........love to everyone .......

Hello Ben,

Thank goodness I was really worried about you. Come back here as often as you need to :-))

If you have the compulsion to just feel your pulse, fine but please don't do anything more than that.

I think you are doing really well, at least you are posting your feelings, that's a lot more than others are able to do.

Stick with it, we are all here for you.

Sue x

Hi Sue

Yes thanks the pms did help last night. It is just OCD that is making me want to self harm. I think it is the thought of pressing on a pulse and passing out or even having a stoke and being severely disbled afterwards.

It is OK to gently touch the pulse area but no harder.

Ben

Ben,

I hope you are looking in. I don't know whether the pms last night helped you or not.

Please come back onto the boards and talk with other people who may be able to help you more than I could.

Sue x

Nice to hear from you Eileen but there's no need for apologies on here love.
We all get down at times and I know how hard it is, I'm like that at the moment. Although I haven't been on here much lately I think about you all every day.
Just keep popping in to let us know how you are.
A big hug for you 'cause I think you need it.

Caz xx

Sorry for not posting recently, have read most of the messages though.
I have been feeling really out of sorts for nearly two weeks now,it has affected me very badly.
Take care everyone and be happy.

Eileen x

Hi WhiteNancy, so glad you have support from your husband and hope one day your sister will seek the help she needs too. You are doing the best you can for yourself and for her, and if she can't accept your help there is not a lot you can do, so hope you don't feel guilty about it or anything. Hope she finds a better way through her depression soon.
Keep popping in on here and you will find many lovely people who will talk with you.
Off to bed in a mo,
take care, goodnight,
Lizx

just stumble across this thread and want to say well done for bringing this subject out in the open.

I suffer from depression as do my mum and my sister i like one of the other posters take 1 venlaflaxine a day and have tried twice to come off them but found life is just so much better with them so happy to carry on taking them.
I am lucky in that i have a wonderful supportive husband.
My sister on the other hand is on her own and wont ask for the help she so desperately needs choosing to try and blot out her problems with drink. I have tried to help her but she just seems hell bent on pushing the self destruct button.

Hi Mary, phew, glad you are ok, but it is never dull in your neck of the woods, is it lol? Maybe you need to fill that gap in the porch with trellis or something to stop any further climbing?
Your garden will be wonderful soon, wish I could send you a package of plants, I have so many spare grasses of all kinds, and hues, and lots of little viola/violet plants as well as other stuff that needs a home.
Also think I have a leafcutter bee as on Friday I had a tall stem with a bud on my peony, and this morning the stem was bent over and some of the leaves had big holes chomped out of the sides as did a viburnum in another pot nearby. I was so cross about the bud as it was the only one on there! Just hope more will grow but it was such a shame.
I have a fuchsia, two shades of pink with a big flower. When I first went to stay with my cousin in Buckingham we went to the nearby village where she and my Dad were brought up, in fact several generations had lived there, and on the way called into a reclamation yard where they were selling small plants too. I bought two fuchsias as my Dad always loved them but sadly one died when I had to take it on to another destination from my cousin, and it got scorched cos the weather was so hot. However, three years on, one of them is doing well so now whenever I water it or catch a glimpse of it, I will think of you Mary and your plant.
Have a lovely Mother's Day, hope Colleen is pleased with her pots the girls did.
Off for an earlyish night so take care, Mary and all who come on here later today.
love
Lizxx

Hello dear friends, sorry Deanna and Liz I've been awol but am OK now. Pushed myself to go outside this morning, a lovely day, came in with my cheeks bright red - not sure if sun or wind - feeling absolutely exhausted in a good way. Our house sits on a lot which is 84'x142', a double lot compared to others on the road. I picked up a secondhand electric lawnmower at the end of last summer, and by Jove, it works. I gave away my 2 gas powered mowers because the strain of pulling the cord to start them had become too much for me. It took almost 4 hours for me to cut the lawn (and the dandelions) but I took my time, took some breaks to sit in the shade,Colleen & I moved the shed, and moved about 2 dozen large rocks to edge one part of the garden. I cannot believe how much better it looks.
Unfortunately we had some excitement (as per usual). Colleen's back door is at the top of a 2-storey outside staircase, there's a little porch at the top. I looked up and here was Gareth, had pushed 2 boxes to the railing and was on top of them above the railing. mercifully he responded when I shrieked at him and got down and came down the stairs. Not 10 minutes later I looked up and Sarah was straddling the top of the railing, 2 storeys up. She was giggling and I was petrified!!
All safe and now asleep, thank goodness.
this morning I took the 3 girls,Mary,Sarah and Em to a garden centre where they were doing a children's seminar, as tomorrow is Mothers Day here, they were provided with a nice flower pot, with paint to make a design on the outside, and soil and their choice of plants for each one to create a Mother's Day planter for their Mum.They were each allowed 3 good-sized plants. MiniMary was a huge help with Sarah, who wanted to finger paint everything but the pot!!!
Colleen presented me this afternoon with a HUGE gorgeous fuschia, little did she know that was my grandmother's favourtie plant, and this particular one, red flower with purple centre, happens to be my fav.
I've hung it from the overhang of the front porch and it looks lovely.
Thanks for all the concern and good wishes, I did have 3 really bad days this week but seem to be Ok today.
Take care of yourselves - and each other. I'm off to sit in the Jacuzzi before bed.
hugs
Mary

Hello Ben,

Lots of people get urges to self harm, you have to get them under control using diversion tactics. Do you have something around the house you can throw or beat with your fists? Sounds silly but it will be a release until the urge fades.

Do NOT press on any pulse in your neck, you could have a stroke!

If you get really depressed come on here and post, someone will be here.

Sue x

hello
just a quick note to say I am still reading the thread, can't seem to find an answer to some of my problems and that is keeping me depressed.

Try again tomorrow

Take care evryone.
Gill

Hi

I am fine at the moment. I have just asked for second opinions on an illegitimacy and they reckon that the man who married the mum was the real dad as she was then baptised as his natural child. Also they wouldnt lie in church and have her baptised as his if she wasnt because the family were churchgoers.

My OCD has dwindled a lot but I have been having a few self harming worries. I do obsess over my breathing, and I sometimes gently feel the pulse on my neck near the chin. I get unwanted temptations to press hard on it though . Would doing that cause any damage at all as I worry whether I am going to press hard on my pulse with my fingers.

Ben

Didn't know you had posted Joyce, I broke off typing to have a cuppa so it took from 5-30 to get it sent lol. Hope I haven't let secrets out.

Caz xx

JOYCE........... so glad to see you love.

No , you will be the 3000 th... so get well if you are not feeling too great.
will pass on your wishes to Allan.

good night love.XX

And to all of you too
Deanna XX

Hi gang, and yes Deanna I have been resting. Joyce is ok, was speaking to her on phone this morning, talk about laugh. She has had a busy week galivanting but I will let her tell you, she is also going out tonight to a party....one of the old mens birthdays in the community hall.
Your poor hands Deanna, I know how mine are sometimes and I can't type, but it's my fingers.

I only came on to tell you I am feeling better although a bit sore and bruised but it is the shock that's worse I think.

Talking about gardens, when we arrived home from hospital on Wednesday there was a big space in next doors garden where three big sycamore trees had been. The men were still putting all the wood in the lorry. I said to hubby that we could do with them to sort our trees out so he went and had a word with them. In 2-3 weeks they are coming back to take our line of conifers, about 20, down by half and trim them back. Then to cut three flowering cherries, a silver birch and the rowans back, they said the other trees are ok. What a relief, the garden is getting a bit wild now with me not being able to do it. When hubby gets home from work he has to do the h****w*** that I can't do so doesn't have time for garden.

It was Carole who started the thread Deanna but I don't think she could have thought in a hundred years what it would turn into. A lifeline for us all, thank you Carole, you deserve a medal.

Well a short message this was supposed to be.

Love and hugs to you all

Caz xx

To my watchdogs Carole, AnnG and Deanna, thank you for caring....if for some reason I happen to miss out on the 3000th posting, may I delegate this honour to any of you three deserving lasses, with my love.

I have had a most unusual week so far, a little topsy turvy, which has thrown me somewhat!

I promise to reveal all tomorrow when hopefully I shall have no distractions.

Deanna, please give Allan my regards lass, sorry he is not too well... and you take a break from typing and give your arm a rest, okay xxxx

Bye for now all,

love JoyceP xxxxx