General Chat

Oh my goodness here we go again, someone, apparently a neighbour, complained to the city about my snow tires being on the driveway, and weeds and 'lumber' which means that someone has looked in the back where I have pieces of wood neatly stacked beside the house, which the contractor was going to take away for me, then had a heart attack and won't be working again for some time. I flew off the handle at the person the other end nof the phone, there is NO way the inspector could have seen the wood pile unless he stood up high to see over the fence, so my neighbour who has mental issues, is obviously the person who called them. I was initially upset but now I am ready to spit nails; I have till next Wed to clear the weeds which are also behind the fence, and the wood. With my blood pressure having been high recently, each time I bend over I want to faint, so I cannot do it, was really waiting for the man to get back to work, and avoiding being outside in the heat. Now megan is cutting the lawn and Em is going to do the back. Why is it anybody's business what's behind my locked fence. It does not mar the local landscape, beyond me why a so-called neighbour would call the city rather than speak nicely to me about it. I really do not need the extra stress. Rant over.

I decided to call the Dr's and see if I could see the asthma nurse and get some antibiotics. The reception said she had gone home but they would get the Dr to call me. So I ended up seeing him and getting antibiotics.

Mary my neighbourghs garden is a mess has been for years. Even if I was bothered (I'm not) there would be no one to complain to. If I told him his garden needed tidying up he would soon tell me to mind my own business and if I wanted it cleaned up to come and do it! Why has your neighbour been able to complain to anywhere about someone elses property. Can't you tell them the same to come clean it up if they are that bothered by it?

Oh dear, Mary..
.I wonder how many more of us are out there who have had similar experiences like yourself!..Many years ago, too numerous to mention, I was chastised, not personally by a neighbour, telephone call or letter, but out of the blue...criticism came from headlines in the local newspaper! This article was read by many of my colleagues at work and I was teased relentlessly. I was so saddened and disgusted that 'whoever' in question had not got the guts to approach me in person that I sat down and penned a reply to the same newspaper, which they published, as follows:

Pleasure and priorities.........
.
Sir,
'Love thy neighbours' - how the true meaning of these words has disappeared through the ages. Most people of today identify the text with a television programme of the same name, and there the true meaning ends, perhaps today the text should read 'Respect thy neighbour'.
In life there are many pleasures; pleasures of the mind and understanding, giving and receiving, of satisfaction and achievements and so on, but unfortunately pleasures are also derived from pettiness, lack of understanding and ignorance if life in general, to me these pleasures are so petty as to assume no importance what-so-ever.
Unfortunately though, I have become a victim to such a person enjoying such petty pleasures. Sadder still is the fact that this person, for his or her own reasons, saw fit to report me regarding the condition of my gardens.
Firstly, let me say that my gardens may not be stately; secondly, that if I lived off the state then time would be of no importance and the stately gardens would emerge.
But due to the fact that my priorities are governed by my commitments;, e.g.full time employment to enable me to bring up three children, alone, and helping persons less fortunate than myself which is time consuming, then, sorry to say, the least of my priorities must, out of necessity, take a back seat.
But if it will give the person concerned pleasure on seeing my gardens as they should be, if true pleasure it gives him/her, then they will be put to right...but let them remember this well - 'No one person has the right to condemn another, whatever the circumstances'
On reflection perhaps the text quoted above should now be changed to 'Understand thy neighbour'.
Yours sincerely
J E Page (Mrs)

So Mary lass take heart and do what I did, up came the lawn and weeds and was replaced by what would be a future allotment, the kids and I went shopping and returned with a gardening book, packets of seeds of every variety and tools..tv was forgotten once the seeds started to sprout and there was competition between them on who could grow the biggest vegetable...I reckon my son cheated really by growing some sunflowers which grew, and grew and grew! maybe he thought he was Jack and was going to climb the beanstalk lol......end results of our exercise being loads of fresh vegetables, endless fresh air and lots of fun and laughter, but best of all no more complaints..I often wonder if my so-called neighbour was shamed by their action!

Good luck with garden chores and love to your children and g/children.
Lots of love....Joyce xxx

p.s. I don't know if you missed my posting of the 18th July when I sent you a recipe for 'macaroni mess', sounds horrible I know but lovely as a meal, enjoy....

Joyce P

Instead of taking Umbridge at these nosey people,Give them a Quote from the Bible, And The Lord Said, "Go Forth And Multiply" Think of the conotations, :-S,Have a Laugh :-D,and be pleased you have said something rather naughty,but in a polite manner. ;-).**M**. :-D

Thanks merlin, my neighbour is paranoid about her property and complains if there is a piece of paper under MY car, on MY driveway (which adjoins hers with a chain fence in between).. With Gareth around you can be sure there is always a piece of paper floating by, as he carries a notebook with a metal coil edge, wherever he goes, so he can draw to his heart's content, if he's not content, he scribbles over the page and tears it out, scrunches it up and drops it. I am long past worrying about it, just pick them up wherever they fall - if they bother me.
This is a woman in her fifties who has some kind of issue, I know she goes for counselling (yes I have driven her to appts) - her mother with whom she lives, is schizophrenic and I am not sure if the daughter is the same, there have been some weird episodes. Her elderly mother is very demanding of her, neither leave the house much. On another day she is pleasantness personified, but currently upset because my Rose of Sharon bush is dropping it's few flowers oin her driveway. They are gorgeous in bloom but a bit of a prob for her when they drop. Oh to have so little to worry about. There is a city bylaw about waste being kept on the property but I didn't think it was anyone's business when it was neatly stacked behind the fence!!
Thanks JP, your letter is brilliant - I don't want to build the situation bigger than it is, have tried to be understanding of her foibles, and can choose now to realise she is mentally ill, bite my tongue, or go to war with her. perhaps she is upset because i moved my "allotment" to the front garden this year because the dogs were destroying the previous one, tomatoes are addicting apparently. Oh yes I haven't offered her any tomatoes . . . . Merlin I love your quote, thanks for the chuckle. The last thing I need is trouble with the neighbours. She has absolutely NO concept of what my life entails, especially this time of year when the children are home 24/7, their Mum is at work all day and I am here, cannot work on the front garden when I am watching S&G, they will escape if they are in the unfenced front garden. This woman has no concept about autism either and how my routine can change on a second's notice, how awful meltdowns are, and time and energy-consuming. I love gardening but just cannot work out there in the heat. perhaps I should just pave the whole area, no wait, that would take a bank loan! At least now C is home for the w/e and spelling me off for a few hours.
On my 3rd cuppa, time to reboil the kettle, I have truly become a "tea grannie".
Have a great day all, sun's out, if I can drag my sorry backside through the door, i'll do some clearing.
TTFN
Mary

Lavender good to see you on here again. Keep trying, progress doesn't necessarily happen in leaps and bounds, baby steps work gently towards the same goal.
I have had an exciting day, first thing this morning I received, officially, the keys to my new ATV!! I am going to try and sell it on the net to try and get as much as I can towards a new roof for my house. Came home feeling encouraged. Gareth was out in the fenced back garden, swinging on the swing very happily. I took a few minutes to look at the TV as the state funeral of one of our political leaders was being broadcast. A few minutes turned into 10 minutes and someone came banging on our door. The police had Gareth cornered at someone's house 2 streets over from ours. I jumped in the car and flew over there - despite every trick I could think of I couldn't get him to my car, and then he ran . . . with the cop in hot pursuit. He managed to grab him but G kept resisting so he was handcuffed. One of the sights I had hoped never to see. He rode home in the back of the police car and as soon as the door was opened he tried to run again. The cop all but dragged him to the house. This did not improve my blood pressure!! Apparently he has learned to climb the fence, or there is a hole I haven't found. Now his information is registered at the police station, together with all our contact numbers.
Oh for a quiet boring day!!
Still feeling very sad about our Deanna, was a wonderful, funny lady, we will truly miss her.
group hug, suspect we all need one!!
Mary

Oh Mary, what a todo! Did Gareth not have his dog with him? I thought they were supposed to stop this running off etc, have visions of poor dog being hauled over the fence behind G.

Hope you can sell the atv and get the roof fixed before wintertime.

As you know I had similar problems with neighbours recently. It freaked me out to get a letter from our local council to say they had had an anonymous caller (coward!) tell them my rented garage has no car in but is full of stuff and combustibles, thus contravening the terms and conditions. The thought of facing clearing the stuff and finding a new home for most of it which I want to keep, furniture to be used when I get back into my house and such, was terrifying for me with my ocd and I was in bits. I couldn't tell o.h. as he is not supportive or understanding, I didn't want to tell my son as he was due to go away for a weekend and I didn't want him worrying about it, and I turned to texting my counsellor who didn't get back to me for hours, and calling a friend who thankfully listened and calmed me down. My bp must have rocketed! I left a message with the person at the council as they didn't answer their phone and stewed all weekend, feeling sick, unable to sleep and distraught. I was also upset that someone had been so unkind, and how did they know what was there, unless they had seen it several years ago after a break in when the door was left open till we were told and my son went and relocked it. The council charge a fortune for rent but don't put strong locks on so they are easily tampered with, it's happened three or four times. Did that person sit on the info all this while and why now? There is one person in the street where my house is who has caused bother for me before, long story, but unfounded dislike which turned a friendship into her damaging my car and other things happening. She was warned by the Police that anything else and she would be the first suspect. I later managed to speak with the council office and the woman was very kind, said she would give me time to sort it out but if I could take out most combustible stuff asap it would be good. I am away on holiday from 9th Sept for two weeks and won't have time to do much before hand but will hope my lad will help me get some stuff out and away and will have the rest to look forward to on my return from my hols. Not a good situation but couldn't get o.h. to alter his holiday at work till later on, he still doesn't know despite me saying I was troubled, he has no empathy and I realise now that he probably has autistic/Aspergers tendencies as does his nephew (strongly) and that's why he is as he is. Shame it took me so long to realise, I thought he was just being unpleasant and controlling but now I see the way it really is.

I am trying to stay calm and not worry too much, but isn't it awful that people can't live and let live.

I have a headache so getting off the computer for a bit

love to you Mary, JP and all my pals on here and newbies who are troubled and anxious.
My counsellor said to me You are never given more than you can cope with, altho it sometimes feels that way I think she is probably right and we are all stronger than we think.

love and hugs

Lizxx

Liz, Gareth did have the dog outside with him, but we can't tether them together when Gareth is swinging or going in the pool. So poor Dudley got left behind!! A "to-do" may be the understatement of the year LOL
We have been barely affected by the hurricane in the USA, though it's been a bit windier than usual, but nothing severe. So far, but there is an awful lot of air pressure round my head today.
Going for a nap now, seems to be my new habit.
Mary.

Hey Mary how awful to see G in handcuffs. I dread to think how you will cope with him as he gets older and stronger.

Lavender do you think it would help you to put your food intake on here?
Today I started with coffee. Been out to lunch had nandos chicken mashed potatoe and garlic bread.Went to see mum. Home to a ham sandwich, strawbery cheese cake and a cup of tea. My nephew lives next door but one and just came round with a dish of home made apple and sultana crumble. I added double cream, and will now finish my can of coke and packet of wotsits! Will have a cup of tea before bed later.

Ooh Carole, I just fancy that apple and sultana crumble with cream!!!! Or the cheesecake.

Ooh Carole, I just fancy that apple and sultana crumble with cream!!!! Or the cheesecake.

Thank you to all those who have given me help on the board recently re bipolar, mood etc. There is more care to be found here than other forums relevant to mental health conditions. In my long experience, as soon as one discloses such detail people run a mile which has always surprised me since if somebody had confided in me I would like to think that I would have been wondering what I could do to help. It was a bit of a revelation which took many years to fully believe! I think the reason being that people are worried that demands will be made upon them, yet I have never telephoned a friend and put upon them ie moaning on phone! I always use a local mental health helpline. Our new line only allows 20 mins per day which can feel really limiting when particularly unwell but at least it does give everybody the opportunity to getting a daily lifeline. It is tough having a mental illness, I'm loads better than many years ago, however. I could never relive the past suffering and fortunately won't have to! Offering a hand to hold to anybody in need this evening :)

Thank you Carole for the kind thought of putting my food diary here (if I dare!!!) I do have a disorder in that department so some days I could be filling up the pages! I'll consider it but would be concerned about it all looking a bit me, me me! Many thanks to all for kindly mentions which are much appreciated ((((((((((hug))))))))))

I am SO excited!! I have found TWO new 'cousins' in the past week!!!! We share my great-grandparents. My grandfather was #13 of 15 children and my mother never knew her paternal cousins as some were so much older and the family became widespread. This is the family I have been wanting to "put back together" for years, finally the door has been opened. Of course they are thousand of miles separated from each other and me, we are circling the globe. What a shot to my mood which hasn't been the best recently. Now I really need to work on collecting air miles!!!
Another busy day today, but finally I have some energy, been taking high doses of vitamin B complex and at last i can feel some effect.
hugs all round, still remembering our precious deanna, what a dear friend she became to so many.
Mary, where the heat is finally abating, Fall is arriving, I hope some more tomatoes ripen before the frost sets in LOL.

Laveder, bite the bullet, list your food diary on here, you will receive no condemnation, only help and we will not consider it to be you you you I promise!

Mary how exciting for you. I hope it gives you a bit of a lift with your mood. It's a great adventure to find new connections to add to your tree isn't it.

Lavender I think this thread works as there is distance and none of us get sucked in feeling they are having their lives taken over by a demanding friend. Saying that we have been here to answer mail of our friends needing to off load. So if listing your diet helps list it. I found it a great help when I was seeing a homeopath as each week I had to take in a diary of my diet to show what I had been eating. Knowing I had to 'report back' made me stick to the right foods. I could have cheated but that would only have been cheating myself.
Today I had sugar puffs and coffee for breakfast. Tea break was cheesecake and fruit buscuit thing! And coffee. Lunch was ham sandwiches two finger kitkat, coffee. And for tea Steve cooked fish in cheese sauce with chips and peas. Goodness looking at my diet it's all sweet stuff!! I should be 30 stone!! Haha

And hyper with all that coffee Carole :-D

Lavender there's a fat bird over 'ere too LOL. I had a cuppa for bkfst and started a tuna sandwich for lunch, which was taken off my plate by my granddaughter sarah! She hasn't been well the last 3 weeks, still haven't got her seizures under control, but as of this morning her dosage is up again, so hopefully we are now on the right road. She looks pretty zonked this morning, I suppose until she adjusts to the higher dosage. very pale, very quiet, but can still find her way to raid the frig LOL
I am recovering from a tumble last evening, just cannot learn to walk sedately!! tripped over an electrical cord, which had no business placing itself in my way. Certainly shook up the marbles, oh I wish it would have knocked some sense into me!!!
Mercifully the kids return to school next week, some peace and quiet is on it's way.
TTFN
Mary

Hope you are not too black and blue Mary after your tumble, thank goodness you didn't break any bones.

Thinking of your granddaughter, it sounds a difficult problem for a youngster to cope with. Bless her.

Have a good day tomorrow, L

Just got back from the Drs office, seems the blood presssure medication is the wrong one for me LOL. You think???? Talk about confirmation of the very obvious! Had multiple falls, crashing into walls, losing balance, weakness, light-headed (more than usual), dizzy, now decorated with bruises, quite a sight.
BTW my "crazy" neighbour now waves at me as if nothing happened!!
off to fill my new prescription, hopefully it'll put me back on steady feet LOL
Mary