General Chat

Top tip - using the Genes Reunited community

Welcome to the Genes Reunited community boards!

  • The Genes Reunited community is made up of millions of people with similar interests. Discover your family history and make life long friends along the way.
  • You will find a close knit but welcoming group of keen genealogists all prepared to offer advice and help to new members.
  • And it's not all serious business. The boards are often a place to relax and be entertained by all kinds of subjects.
  • The Genes community will go out of their way to help you, so don’t be shy about asking for help.

Quick Search

Single word search

Icons

  • New posts
  • No new posts
  • Thread closed
  • Stickied, new posts
  • Stickied, no new posts

Second Class Citizen

Page 0 + 1 of 2

  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. »
ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Jill 2011 (aka Warrior Princess of Cilla!)

Jill 2011 (aka Warrior Princess of Cilla!) Report 23 Jan 2008 22:45

Hi Elisabeth - he's a poppet. Lord knows how - or why - he puts up with an old trout like me!

David

David Report 23 Jan 2008 22:31

I have a joint account with my wife also. Our cards even have there own names when the statement comes in. Mines called Deposit and hers is called withdrawel. :o) Only a joke 1

Karen in the desert

Karen in the desert Report 23 Jan 2008 22:28

Shall I tell you how difficult it is for me living in the Middle East?? Apparently I'm not capable of dealing with anything, phone calls, money, banks, credit cards - nothing whatsoever.....
don't get me started - I could go on for days on this one!!!!!!
And waiting for any type of maintenance man to come and fix anything - they won't come unless hubby is in the house!!

K

Sally Moonchild

Sally Moonchild Report 23 Jan 2008 21:59

Had the same Elizabeth, I always used cash or cheques for preference, but found more and more I needed a credit card......when I asked for one I had to go through OH,.........I was hopping mad.....

Also had a problem years ago when we wanted double glazing......I had the time to see the agents, OH did not......did they want to talk to me.....no......it had to be both of us......in the end if the agent was not prepared to discuss our needs with me, then they would lose the business......they soon came round......

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Report 23 Jan 2008 21:47

Jill,

What an honest man. He sounds a treasure!

Jill 2011 (aka Warrior Princess of Cilla!)

Jill 2011 (aka Warrior Princess of Cilla!) Report 23 Jan 2008 21:28

This reminds me of the times we used to get calls from telesales people - before we blocked them. If I answered they would ask "Is that Mrs P ..... ?" and I would say no. (we're not married so I'm not Mrs P ....). They would then ask to speak to Mr P...... and I would hand the phone to his nibs. This was fine some of the time - he could sort them out and get rid of them. But occasionally they would go on to ask him to confirm that he was the main breadwinner !!! At this point he would say (quite truthfully) "Oh, no, that's not me - that's my other half - hold on I'll pass you over to her" Funny how the call seemed to end fairly soon after that!!!!

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Report 23 Jan 2008 20:27

Colin,

My husband does not suffer fools gladly ..... If things go wrong, he will cancel the credit card completely and go to another provider. There are plenty of companies offering good deals these days.

I will try to remember to come back and tell you the outcome.

Have a happy evening.

Elisabeth

Staffs Col

Staffs Col Report 23 Jan 2008 20:23

OOOh you wont get a new card, they will instead cancel all your unused cheques and approve a loan...not joking its what happened to us

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Report 23 Jan 2008 20:15

Further report on the contacting of the call centre......

The master of the house enjoyed his dinner, read the Telegraph, did the crossword and then got around to phoning the call centre.

It was a classic. He tried to inform them that the card is still usable but cracked and requested a replacement. For some unexplained reason - the person in the call centre asked him to accept his sincere condolences for his loss, and that he would cancel the card immediately. He seemed to think I had passed away! After a long conversation, he was told that I was very much alive, sitting here.

A new card and pin number is on its way, though if the current card will work in the meantime is anyone's guess. Thank goodness we have money in the current account to tide us over.

BarneyKent

BarneyKent Report 23 Jan 2008 17:36

ps. I do the cooking and the ironing in our house.

BarneyKent

BarneyKent Report 23 Jan 2008 17:35

I agree Elisabeth, it is daft. As for the call centre in India - well ! Say no more.
I may be accused of sexism here but we all know how asians regard women don't we?.

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 23 Jan 2008 14:10

Actually mum was a bit miffed when sis told her about her 'elderly' voice - she has got a VERY strong voice LOL.

maggie

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Report 23 Jan 2008 13:47

Maggie,

That has made me laugh - I often have trouble when sorting out things for Mum-in-law. I have often put on a very 'elderly voice', and when they ask if I am Mrs M..., I reply 'yes', which is true! She is in her 90s, but I'm not quite there yet. (I am always doing it at her request as she hates trying to sort out anything with utiilities etc. My husband does have Power of Attorney, but isn't always around at the appropriate time.)

Happy day to all. Off to use my cracked credit card again - in Waitrose this time.

Elisabeth

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 23 Jan 2008 13:41

My mum (who lives in Portugal) was due to receive a new cheque book from her (English ) bank. When it hadn't arrived, she didn't want to phone from Portugal - costs too much, so she asked my sister to phone and gave her all the relevant details etc.
All my sister/mum wanted to know was whether the cheque book had been sent - nothing else!!
Sister put on her most wavering voice and phoned. She went all throught the hoops of account number etc - then they asked for her password. Sister didn't know that , so she pointed out she only wanted to know whether or not the cheque book had been sent!!
They couldn't tell her - needed the password.
Sister put the phone down - then phoned as herself, (got a different person) and asked why they had asked her mother for a password when they had every other security bit - and she only wanted to know whether the book had been sent!!
This bloke said they hadn't asked mum for her password as they didn't need it. Sister says yes they had asked - she was stood right next to her mother.

Bloke then said 'Could I speak to your mother' LOL Sister just hoped he wouldn't see through her false wavering voice!!. But he told her there and then exactly when the cheque book had been sent!!! So why all the fuss the first time when they thought they were dealing with an elderly woman? Are they in cahoots with the telephone companies???

maggie

*Helen S

*Helen S Report 23 Jan 2008 13:19

I already had a house when I met OH so he moved in with me, my name is 1st on most things as Its just easier.
My parents have a joint account with my dad named first, they won't speak to my mam so she puts my dad on, he tells them that he doesn't deal with the finances (he actually tells them that he puts the money in and she spends it!).
It's absolutely rediculous though. If it's a joint account it should be either person who can authorise transactions, replacement cards etc.
There was a time when my ex had let our joint account go overdrawn after we'd spilt up, the bank then froze my single account until it was sorted out. BUT they wouldn't allow me to close the account as it was a joint one..Mad eh? As the account was in my name first, I did have to pay the small amount, they waived charges and rethought their policy on closing the account, when I said I might change banks, so at least they saw reason.

Littleimp

Littleimp Report 23 Jan 2008 13:17

A few years ago OH on trip to states. His company had messed up the hotel booking so he had to pay on his credit card for 3 rooms. They swiped his card on the first night (which blocks the funds) then again when he left this time taking the amount but leaving the blocked amount on the account. When he got to the centre where the course was being held he had to pay for the 3 courses. He didnt have enough funds. So phoned me to get it sorted. I phoned the credit card co but they would not speak to me as only named on the account. I explained the situation but still no go. It was only when l insisted that an account manager be available to speak to him when he finished the course for the day at 9pm NewYork time - which was 1 in the morning here that they agreed to up his limit.

We have a password on our accounts to say that either of us can control the accounts. Although l have been known to say l am him when we get phone calls. Its funny the response from overseas call centres when you say your name is Robert.


Dawnie you can sign up for 'caller preference' Its free and it stops companies in this country from cold calling. If they do call you you take the details and they could get a fine. Contact BT and they will put you thru to the company. Takes about 3 months to stop fully. funn y how you want them to call after that jsut to catch them out. We also just say 'hang on i will just ftch him' then forget about it for a while
Also can get BT to stop you getting 'number withheld ' calls check it out

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Report 23 Jan 2008 13:07

Wow - thank you for your replies. (I have been going about my wifely duties - washing his socks, underpants etc.)

Man of Kent ... My argument was not a sexist problem - merely the fact that they went through all the security questions. By giving them my card number - which is different from my husband's, they knew I was not the primary cardholder. All I wanted was a replacement card, not an increase in limit or any thing to do with the account itself. If I wished, I could go out this afternoon and spend many thousands on the card, and had used the card in a couple of outlets this morning. Still I wasn't able to request a replacement card.

It just seems 'daft' to me.

Elisabeth

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 23 Jan 2008 13:03

Lol Gwyn, I was one for almost 34 years... I should have had a medal for that!!

Man from Kent... I agree, it is slowly being tightened up so that it is the account holder....whether male or female... who has to be the person who makes the alterations/requests. However, I would say that it most certainly WAS a sexist issue almost universally a short while ago... and there are still elements of this sexism lingering! When a bank account is altererd to from Mr XY Anyone to include his wife Mrs AB Anyone... the first person on the letter head stays as Mr XY with Mrs AB next.

Try changing Mrs AB's account to a joint one with hubby Mr XY... and lo!! MR still takes the lead! Petty, I know... but it is sexist.

My husband has NEVER been asked for details of my income when he has wanted to take out a loan in his name, from our joint account, other than for those things like mortgage, which is in Joint names.

However.... in 2004 I had huge problems when I wanted to purchase a new car, and needed a small loan to complete that purchase. The car was for me... my money, I earned an excellent wage, my own bank account.... but they wanted to know our joint income... it had no relevence. Strange though.... a couple of years before that, hubby had no probs at all.... and he only has the joint account!

Recently, a relative's male partner managed to change two of her utility providers by explaining that he pays for them, they are out of his account (it was hers, but she changed it to a joint acct when they moved in together) etc etc.... she is furious with him... and it shouldn't have been allowed. When my father in law died 7 years ago, my mother in law had to send copies of his death certificate to get the utility bills put into her name!

So I reiterate... it is getting loads better, but there is still a long way to go before women in this country have full equality.

Love

Daff xxx

Dawnieher3headaches

Dawnieher3headaches Report 23 Jan 2008 12:19

Pink

they have started calling in evening when tiddler and laddo are playing up so am very tempted next time a certain gas company call to tell them i will go and look for him and give the phone to tiddler sure they will soon hang up with the stupid things she would ask them lol

PinkDiana

PinkDiana Report 23 Jan 2008 12:17

Oh they are great aren't they!!

i love it when I get calls to my home asking for "Mr Mysurname" and when i say he doesn't live here, they don't want to talk to me!