General Chat

Too many parents too lazy or ignorant to bother with teaching kids manners or consideration towards their neighbours or fellow men. Too much greed or selfishness and I can't see it changing for the better however hard schools try, the 'bad lot' outweigh the decent caring parents and seem to breed more and more children to be dragged up in ignorance!

I went to a well known Edwardian school in Liverpool in the 1960's.

I remember we had lessons on etiquette, and were given a text book which was written in a rather light hearted style.

Apart from learning the correct way to lay cutlery on the table and how to address people politely, the one that stuck in my mind was the chapter about conducting yourself when invited to someone's home for a dinner party and in particular knowing the right time to leave.

The trick is to leave just before the host gets the family Trumpet out of the attic and attempts to play "God Save the Queen" That way you get invited back.....!

Seriously, though, many of the comments on here are true. I remember my wife coming home from school 20 years ago saying how sad it was that some of the kids didn't know how to hold a knife and fork nor eat properly - and yes, these are the very same that have kids of their own today.

But surely, social skills start as soon as they are born, not when they go to school. By then it is too late.

Errol it was reported on Radio Leeds, not sure why they were reporting it?
They said it was manners that were to be taught at a school and gave the example of how to use a knife and fork...................and then the traffic news kicked in on the car radio and I missed the rest of the report hence the thread asking the question.

Good debate though in who should teach children manners

There was a letter in my local paper complaining about gangs of teenagers in our central state of the art award winning library, annoying people trying to use the computers, by playing loud music and generally being obnoxious. The staff have a job to keep control and anyone saying anything is treated to abuse etc.
The person said at the end of the letter : Grow up and go home and let your adoring parents put up with your charming behaviour since their lousy parenting created it.
Oh how right he is, and what sorry kind of parents will they be in a few short years time? I fear for our country, I really do!

Lizx

Liz is quite right - this is an independent school.
Part of the role of an independent school is not only to educate those pupils but also to equip them with the necessary skills to move in certain circles. This was not a report about teaching good manners but instructing in correct etiquette - there is a rather distinct difference between the two.

Manners, maybe the parents should be taught how to instill good manners in their offspring..........starting with putting their cast off litter in a bin instead of dropping it to get blown all over......one of the schools near me has closed.......sad to see it go because it had many amenities that will be lost to the public............but at least now we dont have the litter trail.........

Bob

I left school Dec 55. We were taught 'manners' in the Secondary School. ie Walk on the left up and down public stairs. Give up your seat on buses to ladies etc etc. Can't remember being taught how to use knife and fork tho as my parents did that job. It is true today tho' that some kids going to their first school have never used a knife and fork

When I was little the "dinner ladies" at school were forever switching my knife and fork over ( I was using them the wrong way round).......my children all use theirs the "wrong "way round now....it's how I happen to lay the table.....in fact the only family member who eats "correctly" is OH and he is left handed........lol
Amanda

my youngest daughter was 17 when she had my grandson boyfriend was 19 when grandson went to school he won an award for being the best mannerd child in the school, Juat to add daughter now 34 still with same partner have a lovley home 3 wonderful children and both work and have never claimed benefits.
Love Jackie

We were out for tea on tue's little girl about three had a dvd player on the table watching telly tubby's i could not belive it she was also standing up on the seat when she was eating. All my gchildren know to behave when out my autistic grand son is the best mannered of the lot Valxxx

Blimey whatever next. Nanny state or what.
It starts in the home, my 14 month Grandaughter says 'peas' (please) everytime she wants something and ta (thank you) when she gets it, if she can do it every other child should be able to do. I know myself and my sisters were all taught from babies and we have taught our children the same, and I'm glad to see my daughter is teaching her child good manners.
Lesley x

Wow, came back to see what the responses were to this and a very mixed bag, but we all seem to agree that manners are lacking and do need to be taught, but probably the parents need to take some personal responsiblity before any school is involved

All the kids in our family have good table manners, even my nephew who has severe learning difficulties knows how to hold a knife and fork (he struggles with cutting but is determined) and they all know how to put them when they've finished.

The only thing I can't abide is the younger two (8 and 6) have picked up the worst habit from their mother (I hasten to add that she's my sis in law as we'd be shot for it) of chewing with their mouths open. And if one does it the other starts up again after being corrected. It drives mum and I nuts, we seem to spend every meal telling them to chew with their mouths closed.

I think this is a boarding school, fees £24,000, and they are going to teach how to set a table correctly, iron a shirt, tie a bow tie, use the right cutlery etc etc which is fine as there will be extra time for it with the youngsters living in.
I was a school dinner lady (oops, midday supervisor) at a first school, and I was amazed at how many children had no idea how to hold a knife and fork properly. In fact, my o.h.'s sons were the same, one held his arm round his plate and shovelled food in that way, holding his knife pointing up in the air, the other one ate so fast he would be finished first everytime, you would think someone was waiting to steal his food the way he went at it, and he still does it at the age of 26, and neither of them knew to place the knife and fork together when they finished eating. When I tried to show o.h. the difference between his main course forks and dessert forks, setting the table one day, he told me I was a snob!
His kids would just shovel their food in and get up from the table, without a word even if others were eating, they were dragged up.
Lizx

Totally agree with you Claire.

Children should learn manners and social skills in the home. School should not have to teach them.

I worked in Education for many years and some children have no idea what a knife and fork are for. they eat with their fingers, talk with their mouths full, never use please or thank you and never listen to adults.

Unfortunately many parents of these children have never mastered these skills either.

Viv

Maybe they should be teaching the parents the manners from the horror stories I've heard.

my grandaughter is two and a half
the first two words she put together were
tan choo thats thank you in baby talk
never too early to be taught manners
lynnx

Bring back school dinners at reasonable rates!

couldn't make it up could you!

I remember when I was a very new teacher in a primary school (about 30 years ago) a fellow teacher came into the staff room clutching a letter from a parent. The teacher was so amazed that she was almost speechless because the parent had asked the teacher if she could teach her child (aged 5 or 6) to use a knife and fork.
When the teacher checked her register that particular child didn't even stay for school dinners but was a packed lunch bringer!

Sue