General Chat

Aww Caz, There is nothing silly at all about how you feel. Cherish every moment together you can.
Mums and Dads are very precious to us, my dads a similar age to yours, had a triple by pass 15 years ago, he does the things he wants to do and we let him, I was round there today helping him set up a new record deck so that he can record all his old records onto the computer and make disc.
I know how you feel and if you are silly then I am silly to, they have had me in tears more then on the odd occassion. We love them so much.

Take Care

Colin :):)

You haven't caused me pain love the hurt cant change any more.
Just cherish your time with your dad
Love Malc xxx

Caz, I am sure that he loves you every bit as much as you love him. But you wont stop him working in the cold for you that is what Dads do. My Dad would have done and my OH would for his kids too. treasure each other and value the time you have together. But as Diana says don't waste time worrying about what you will do without him, enjoy the time you have with him.

My dad died on Christmas day 2001 and I still miss him (he was 93) there are still times when I want to tell him what I have found out about the family - he was the one who got me interested in F History, he was a great family man.

Ann
Glos

Right, got your tissues ready?
My dad was not the sort to show his emotions, never said he loved us or anything, but did show it by things he did. He died in 1990 from lung cancer when I was 42.
When I was at school, about 11 I think, I started to get this rash on my hands, elbows and feet, like big blisters so I couldn't even wash myself, it hurt to open and close my hands as the palms were so blistered. The doctors didn't know what it was, and it came up about every 6 months. One day I heard Dad telling Mum he had been explaining about the rash to someone he worked with, and they advised fuller's earth cream so he had been all over the place to get some. That's what Dads do. He also sat up with me when I was 3 and had to sleep downstairs by the fire to get well. When he had his first heartattack, he took up embroidery and cross stitch to pass the time, and one Christmas presented me with a sampler he had stitched - it had the saying on it 'Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life' cos he knew I liked that saying. When I had my son, I had to stay in hospital for 10 days as I had stitches and had no one at home to look after me and the baby. Altho my Dad hated hospitals and wouldn't go near them if he could help it, after a couple of days he wanted to meet his grandson so badly, he came in to the ward with my Mum, carrying roses and sweet peas he had grown, I howled. I think the best gift I gave him back was his beloved grandson, he was not so close to my brother's son born 4 weeks earlier, but my lad and him were as close as could be.
Just before he died, he said to my Mum 'I love you all' and she passed that message on to me and my brothers. It would have been lovely to have been more open in our feelings for each other but he was ex army and typical British Stiff upper lip type.
Dads are great and it is only in the last few years, and more so since I started investigating his side of the family tree, that I have thought of him as a person in his own right and not just 'My Dad'
Rest in Peace, Dad.
Lizx

Carol have sat reading this thread in tears, mine passed away 14 yrs ago and I still think of him every day and him and my mam are the reason I took up this hobby, I really wish he could have been around to see how I have done etc ;;
Listen to the advice you have been given as you have to enjoy the present and tell him you love him now ,,,don't worry about the future as Purple says Tomorrows another day and the start of the rest of your life;;
Big (((hugs))) from me to your dad for helping you like this , but age outside doesn't matter its the age you feel from inside that keeps you going and doing what he does keeps him young ;;;

Babs x

~~~~~~ to Caz I hope you don't mind just read this thread and brought tears to my eyes as well.
My dad died when I was 15, I was one spoilt daughter and he was 50 when I was born.
Years later started doing family history and found out why I was so spoilt. He and Mum had a son and twins before me but none lived. Mum was really upset when I found out.
Then found out Dad was married before and had two kids a boy died from diabetes and a daughter died in childbirth. Mum didn't know about this.
I will always wonder why Dad never said anything to us. The joys of family history.
Loved my Dad to pieces, would love to talk to him now.
SD xxx

SD, my Dad didn't really talk to me much about his family as my Mum didn't get on too well with his Mum, so they moved back to here where Mum came from, and I didn't know my gran much or my paternal relatives. Mum did tell me a few bits and now I am researching that side of the family, I wish Dad was still around so I could ask him questions about my findings.

Some families don't talk much about things, my o.h.'s sons were amazed one day when I mentioned her late ex husband, she had never told them anything about being married before altho they were grown up. Also they don't know secrets of their Dad, he told me early on in the relationship but never disclosed to his wife when they were married or since, or to his sons, that he has a daughter, 7 years older than his eldest lad. His father discouraged him from speaking out when the mother took him to court to prove parentage, and he was never asked to pay maintenance. Apparently when the girl was about 18, she is now 32, her mother asked him to meet with the girl, and altho he was separated from his wife, he chickened out as he was suffering with depression at the time and cancelled the meeting.
He has never bothered since and I have had no luck trying to find her. I feel so sorry for the girl but what kind of father does that to a young woman with questions to ask. I lost a lot of respect for him when I found out.

Hello Liz there were a lot of secrets in some families sigh.
My stepbrother has been doing his family history with a cousin and they found that there Granddad had another family before their Dad was born. The Granddad had taken off and changed his name. They have all had a big family reunion and written a book.
Sad to think what you miss out on by not communicating. But thats life
SD

I think things are better out in the open, don't you, saves a lot of heartache most of the time.
I am glad your stepbrother's findings have had a happy outcome.

I wish I had known about the secrets in my Mum's family, apparently her mother was thought to have married beneath her so my Mum didn't know many of her maternal relatives. Too late to find out much now, as most of those who would have possible known information, are dead.
Lizx

Same here with the researching, Mum and Dad are both gone as are all their siblings and there partners bar one. I am an "only child" so find it difficult sometimes.

Frustrating isn't it?
Off to bed now, so will say goodnight.

Lizx

Nite Liz talk soon SD xxx

Thanks so much Colin,SSD,Liz,Ann and Malc,


Your words have touched me very deeply and mean a great deal to me.

Dads are very precious indeed and I say love you to my Dad every single time I speak to him.


Caz xxx

Hi Carol

Your Dad sounds wonderful, my dad passed away in 1981 and although things at home hadn't always been rosy I'm glad he agreed to let me nurse him in my home for his last few months.

The war years especially Dunkirk took there toll on him and many, many others.

Give your Dad a hug and kiss from me.

Frances xx

awwwww
dont know what to say
so ill send ya some (((hugs)))))
Rosex