General Chat

errrrr......................think I will stick with my trousers and top. lol

xx

And finally, in those wee small hours when the household is in bed, your bath is over, your make-up is stripped off, and so are you ……………… you just cannot resist one last log-on to see who else cannot sleep.

But do you really need to sit there in that undersized canvass-like bra that is straining and groaning on threadbare straps ? And those ever shrinking Littlewoods bloomers that now cling to your once wineglass-like figure like the stuff that they wrap Christmas trees up in nowadays !

Try;

Generous cut midnight blue and black basque : £96.99 from Size Up
Gossamer silk net negligee : £93.99 from Agent Provocateur

Stockings are optional ………………….. but, for health and safety reasons, please get them on your legs before tackling the basque.

Oh ………….. and don’t bother about shoes. You really don’t want to sound like a pregnant elephant and wake everyone up on your way upstairs to bed.

And for the next day …………………… we’ll leave you to decide !

Late afternoon you will no doubt be breaking off to prepare dinner for those ungrateful ones who do not care what you look like as long as their bellies are filled. So there is no need to get changed. Just don a stylish pinafore.

Try;

Disposable apron in sea green : £6.99 for a pack of 10 from Holby Hospital Supplies.

After dinner is the glamour time on GR. You really do need to look and feel your very best if you are going to indulge confidently in bun fights, banter and bitchiness. Not to mention your tales of who did this, who said that and how little Johnny cut his knee whilst playing polo on the dog this afternoon.

Whatever you wear now just will no longer do ……………… elegance is demanded.

Try ;

Silver satin gown with train : £1,699 from Dolce and Gabbana
Silver calfhide shoes with 5 inch heels and red rose buckle : £400 from Gucci.

Spray a fake tan on your legs and feet if you have to, and airbrush out those varicose veins …………….. but for god’s sake please don’t wear stockings or tights.

You will need something close at hand on your computer desk to store your make-up kit, anti -ageing cream, dentugrip, pocket Oxford English dictionary and Cassell’s book of insults and English slang.

Try;

High end handbag in beige soft leather : £239 from Louis Vuitton.

Winnie and Joanna.......

How the h*ll did you know what i was wearing????

Deanna X

After lunch comes the time for serious website discussion and research. You need to look and feel important and intellectual. That JJB polo shirt sporting the escapees from today’s, and yesterday’s, lunch just will not do. And please, please bin those M&S slacks. The legs are so wide you could audition for the role of Mary Poppins …………………… without an umbrella !
And are those ancient FHW sandals really you ?

Try;

Shaped gabardine trouser suit with short cut jacket in red and black : £220 from Harvey Nicholls.
( don’t worry about your bum looking big in it ……………. your webcam cannot see around sizable corners ).
Small heeled black cowhide shoes with acorn tassels : £69 from Russell and Bromley.

Jewellery is optional …………………….. but please try not to rattle like a bottle of pills.

Then on to mid-morning through to lunchtime, combining topical discussion of the day with your usual superficial attempts at housework. You need to be wearing something light and airy for this, enabling you to flit effortlessly between computer desk, vacuum cleaner, washing machine and kettle.

So dump those heavy denims with the now unfashionable ripped look. Likewise the woollen cardie that you got from Oxfam. Your charitable instincts are excellent, but you can still donate without looking like a sack of overheating potatoes. And as for those Gola trainers ……………… need we say more ?

Try;

Printed pattern dress in azure blue and summer gold : £99 from Jaeger
White woven slip on’s : £55 from The Natural Shoe Store

If you feel a little cold then why not don a cape, Roman style, across one shoulder and knotted upon the other.

Try,

Red and green tartan car blanket : £6.99 from Halfords

We cannot help wondering what you lot look like while your eyes are glued to your screens.

But has it ever crossed your mind that if you look good, then you’ll feel good, and if you feel good then your threads and posts will come across so much better and will always appeal …… whatever the mood of your audience. And surely we all want that ……………………….. don’t we ?

Just take a look at yourselves first thing in the morning.

How many of you sit there looking like you have just got out of bed ? With your hair pointing in all directions, your once fluffy slippers looking like shorn sheep, your knee length bed socks no longer elasticised, and your BHS “Peanuts” nightie so full of holes that even the moths no longer bother with it !

How could you possibly hope to communicate cheerfully with anyone dressed like that !!!

But help is at hand. Might we suggest for your early morning stint greeting your friends on the Board ;

Shaped silk pyjamas in peppermint green : £119.99 from Jigsaw
Soft velvet slippers in cream : £49 from Anne Fontaine
Cream chiffon robe : £70 from Kaleidoscope.

your heart on your sleeve................someone might break it.

xx

on the Boards !