General Chat

so your husband has agreed to bail him out on the condition, he hands over the credit card and a small amount deducted each week??? that sounds very fair to me. Perhaps when your son has calmed down he will see this is the best way forward. Problem is i can this being me in a few yrs, one of my boys spends money likes it going out of fashion. But currently it's only birthday money etc. He's almost 12. But he then complains when his twin has cash left because he's more careful with his money.

I just love the banks. They are forever offering me loans of THOUSANDS..... Just like the students, all they see is that they have no overdraft.....YET! I think it should be stopped. Then when they get in a knot over their money, the banks say 'well you should not have borrowed it!' I wish you well, and hope your son sees what they are all about .... before it is too late. Deanna X

Shelli, This was a conversation that OH had with David over the phone this morning, but he refuses to hand over his credit card so there is no deal. What he wants is for Vitor to give him his full allowance for the whole of the new year ( which starts next month) and he will govern himself. I don't know if you read a thread that I put up a few months back when he was going to chuck it all in and go with his girlfriend and her parents to Mozambique. Well that fell through as something or the other went wrong, did not ask, and they are now staying in England... As he was so determined to go OH told him that he would give him the last year of varsity fees to help get him get started in Mozambique. So his argument is that if we were prepared to give him the money when he was going to leave, why won't we give it now.... He is doing our heads in!! I would suggest that you clamp down on your twelve year old now, David was exactly the same at that age, money burns a hole in his pocket. Daniel has always been more careful. Deanna, Isn't it the truth! OH is rapidly running out of patience with him and when he has had enough, David is going to get a shock. Lindy

Although I think that 'clamping down' on youngsters can have an effect, some seem to have an inbuilt 'need' to spend and overspend. My nephew is like this, always has been, although he was never spoiled or over-indulged and his parents are by no means well-off. He is a lovely lad but, as I said to my sister, if I won the Lottery and was able to settle his debts and give him a clean slate, he'd run up more debts in no time! Unfortunately he married a girl with exactly the same traits (if not worse) - disaster!

Lindy if he has not spent up to his limit,then a compromise is needed if your so wants the suport of his parents,,,,First is his responibillity not to cause you both worry or more worry ,and see that you are both acting in his best intrest to at least reduced his debt and save that later on in life should he require any banking help he wont be able to though bad credit ref,,,, it has nothing to do with how much you spoilt him,he just hasnt learned to face to results of his actions,and perhaps he did spend to keep the intrest of his girlfriend, If he wont surrender the card till its sorted then ,,then personally I would flatly refuse to offer help toward it,

Sheila, That is so very true! Both my brothers earn good money yet have nothing to show for it. Maybe, it I had not given in to him all the time when he was younger he would be a bit more responsible as a young adult. I believe that it can be genetic...sigh.... Lindy

Kay, That is Vitor stance, he will not help David until he surrenders the credit card, which he refuses to do. They are both very stubborn, the thing is 'David will cut his nose to spite his face' This is going to get a lot worse before it gets better. I just don't need this agro at the moment... Lindy :(

OH has arrived home early so it is time for a long cool drink next to the pool. Chat later, Lindy ;)