General Chat

Hi all, I dont post here a lot but I am always looking in to see how you all are. Well the delema is this without going into all the ins and outs of it, We look after our 2yr old granddaughter 3 days a week and I painted her finger nails with a clear varnish, it was really a nail wrap which I had barrowed from a neighbour as I was going to a do at the weekend,well went to the do and on the tuesday d/in law sent a message with my son to say she was FUMING, and did I not think to Ring and ask if I could do that, as she has a book and it says if 2yr old had put her fingers in her mouth she could have died if she bit it off,and if a health visitor knew about it she would have come down on me like a ton of bricks, This has caused a lot of trouble between us and I was just woundering if you could give my your honest opinion, is she right to have been that upset,oh by the way 2yr old has toe nails painted bright red. Regards Margaret

Hi Margaret, i too would have been miffed at anyone doing that to my 2 year old without asking me first, however i would have politely asked you not to do this without upsetting you or going on about it.

Seems a storm in a tea-cup to me., Margaret. From practical experience you have to be very careful. Parents can be funny like that. On this one I would slightly side with the parent, but you acted in good faith and really have almost nothing to blame yourself for. People who never do anything never get blamed - but who would want to be one of them. happy days

I think she was a bit hasty!! my granddaughters had thier nails painted when small didnt give a thought, but now there is so much written in books and young mums tend to follow what they read, we had to go by our own instincts and i cannot see anything wrong in it, she will put more than that in her mouth as she grows!! Love Helenxx

Hi Margaret, I do sympathise - it can be difficult being a granny! Perhaps you could say to your daughter in law that you're sorry if she felt upset by the nail varnish, but perhaps if there's something in the future she feels really strongly about then could she let you know. Impress upon her that no harm was intended - after all, you all love the little girl don't you. Hope it doesn't escalate as these things sometimes do. x

I have a two year old and I can honestly say that clear nail varnish on her finger nails would not have worried me to fuming extent. Perhaps she was just having a bad day?! :-) Helen

What a lot of fuss about nothing really ALL little girls love their nails being painted. I take it this is DIL 1st baby? As a first time Mum you do take everything written in books ( full of good intentions ) as gosspel. I think she has over re acted . Personally if I was in your shoes I would call and just say how sorry you are and it was a spur of the moment thing.That you understand her worry and how awful you feel as you had no idea that you may have harmed her - She'll soon be putty in your hands and see how silly she has been Kill with kindness. lol Much happiness Debi ( aged 40 going on 90 )

As far as I remember, 2 year olds are also able to put their feet in their mouths so your D-i-L should be made aware of that fact. (Sounds like she can too!) She shouldn't have responded as she did and perhaps a phone call to you to ask politely for you not to use nail varnish as she is worried about the safety aspects, would have been much better. As for getting your son to deliver the message!! Well! I personally think she was wrong to have a go when she herself uses the product on her daughter. Don't get upset about it. You and your granddaughter were having fun. Jacky x

I personally would not put nail varnish on a two year old, but I think your d-i-l's reaction is a bit ott especially as she puts nail varnish on her daughters toe nails and if she is anything like my 3 year old would at some point put her toe in her mouth (as most kids do at some point). Juila ps I only have boys bythe way!

Margaret, what is the difference between a nail wrap and nail varnish?

Hi I think a calmer mention would have done. I doubt a 2 year old would think of biting it off!! She obviously needs/relies on you for her childcare - odd human mistakes can happen where ever she would have left her. Hope this soon blows over Penny mother of 2 young boys (who put all sorts into their mouths!) - who also isn't a perfect parent. PS They stay wth their grandparents when I'm working. We have disagreed on a few occasions . It gets worse when they get to school!!!

Hi Bella, Thanks for your honesty, I am really trying to understand where the limits are,It just feld like we were having a little girlie time. Regards Margaret

I believe she is over reacting just a little bit. I used to paint my daughters nails when she was a toddler and no one ever said anything to me ... clear varnish ... not coloured. I think that as long as the varnish had dried on the nails before any possiblility of the fingers entering the mouth, then all should be well. My daughter has slipped far worse things into her mouth ... with trips to the hospital, to have the nurses in stitches ! Vaseline, Sudacrem, Birth Control pills ! and even tried to Talc Pwder. They always checked her out and sent me home being reassured that unless she had swallowed MEDICINE or TABLETS /Bleach etc, then not to panic, just expect many dirty nappies. I understand that my stepdaughter once drank Turps when she was a toddler... she was obviously taken straight to hospital ... but she's 25 now and none the worse for wear. That girls daughter aged 6 months drank Car Wash last year ... she's fine ! Your a Mum, you know how paranoid we get ! but its always best to be safe than sorry. I have NO medical training ... so I hope that someone WITH medical background can confirm or deny Mum's fears for you. Elaine :-)

After reading some of the other replies, I started to imagine my mum or my M-I-L doing the same with my daughter. All it did was make me giggle at the thought of them being 'girls' together. Jacky;-)

tinsy winsy bit over the top i think, but hey all mums are different, she should have had my 18 year old girl shed have been too busy keeping up with her to send messages, had to keep me eye on her every second as soon as she could walk, and my son once got my nail varnish (red) and painted his nails his tshirt , his trousers, lovely for a soldiers son, daddy wasnt impressed , but son has grown into a lovely young lad whose a proper boy, maybe try being over the top appologetic margaret, say im really sorry i upset you, i hope youll forgive me , i just thought it was harmless, dont grit your teeth when you say it, lol im sure you dont take your eyes off her so she wouldnt have come to harm keep your chin up

Margaret - having checked out what a nail wrap is I have to say I would have probably felt the same way as d-i-l. Nail varnish wouldn't have worried me though.

Wendy, What IS a nail wrap? I am intrigued and feel I OUGHT to know the difference at my age! lol! My daughter paints her own nails (all of them) with whatever she can get her hands on. I once quietly watched her paint her left hand and then just as competently paint her right hand. I can't do it as well as she can! Abigail

Hi Abigail. I had never heard of a nail wrap before (my own are far too strong to need anything doing to them) I found this on the web. Wraps are nails strengthened with the use of fabric placed on the surface of the nail then secured with a resin. (The fabric is not wrapped around the nail.) Two types of wraps: silk and fiberglass. The application process is the same including the same resins being used for both types. The only difference between them is the fabric used.

Oh Margaret! Did you use the fiberglass ones! The silk won't do her any harm but she must be the sort of child that eats only the food put in front of her. Mine will have anything and my brothers used to eat beetles earwigs, coal, worms and slugs But they wouldn't touch sprouts! LOL! Just make an apology, say you didn't realise the difference, and promise to ask before you do anything else to the child! Your DIL might be upset that she has to leave her daughter full stop, rather than what you do with her when she is with you. Wendy thanks for the explanation. It sounds like precisely the sort of thing I need. My nails bend like a sheet of paper! Well you live and learn - I have a 'do' this weekend so I will be phoning the salon tomorrow to see if they can wrap my nails! Abigail

I love the sound of sharing the girly time Margaret - I had a vision of the two of you dressed in feather boas surrounded by dressing up clothes, fizzy lemonade, fondant fancies and the nail kit and a bit of smudged lippy.