General Chat

My husband was cook and baker in the Merchant Navy, about 20 years. On one voyage, some bright spark thought it would be funny to do a 'job?' in the cooks boots! My man is a wise and very STOIC fellow, and said ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! At the end of the trip, the culprit could not stand it any longer, and at breakfast in the middle of the Mess, shouted out. 'Who S$%T in 'Cookies' boots?' Hubby answered, without a break, 'AND, who had it in his soup the next day?' The Mess erupted with laughter. True story, not sure about the soup..........he just grins! Deanna

talking about army days has anyone heard of the initiation ceremony of a bath full of wee or even a bob sandwich (can't believe I said that) but blokes are mucky creatures!!

On this unpleasant subject, I'd like to say that it isn't only males that leave little presents in places they shouldn't. What did the world's top female marathon runner do in the London marathon a couple of weeks ago? in the middle of the race? in the middle of the street? 'Paula Radcliffe had to leave the race for a few seconds to empty her bladder' we were told.......nearly right!!! Brian, ;-O

Brian, I for one think that is unforgiveable. If any of the woman watching had done it, there would have been a court case over it. How could she let herself down like that? Deanna

i know! when i stopped in the street to relieve myself i was arrested for being drunk! typical double standards! lol!

Brian, I read in FHM that the strain on your body from running the marathon can ehm....cause accidents! My other half always has a pee on the way home so he never hits the wrong spot in the house. He's left some pretty patterns on the road lol. I'm only jealous that us women can't just whip it out and pee anywhere. Jack x

jack i read the same FHM. made me laugh out loud when it advised you to 'drop the kids off at the pool' before running!! lolol! xx

Someone, not unrelated to my husband, in a brotherly sort of way was camping with some friends in Cornwall. They had visited the local pub and drunk as much as was possible and staggered back to the tents. Bro in law was sharing a tent with a mate. In the night he realised he had to release some liquid build up. He was still totally off his head and had some difficulty locating the zipped entrance to the tent. He thought he found it once but in his stupor lost it again and so he fumbled on blindly crawling around pathetically. Eventually he found the entrance. It was all a bit complicated for a drunken student so he decide to just unzip the tent and kneel up to wee outside. Mid wee he heard a howl of outrage followed by a barrage of abuse. He'd started so he had to finish. This was unfortunate for his friend rudely awoken from his slumber. Sadly, bro in law had found the entrance the first time and somehow managed to leave the tent and zip it back up behind him. So he'd been blundering around outside when to his relief he found the zip, opened it a peed INTO the tent. He will never be allowed to forget it. Gwynne

A friend of ours (male) was so drink one night that he peed all over the 3 tier wedding cake his mother had just made for some poor bride and groom - and his mother STILL loves him!!???!! Lucy x

Kirsty - he is right - only it needs diluted - one part urine to 7 parts water! Titchmarsh and others recommend as does my husband. Ann

I remember when i was about 14 my dad had been out on the booze and about 3:00am he came in to my room went into the wardrobe and even shut the door behind him done what he had to then could not get out the wardrobe boy was he sorry in the morning dirty pig

Hi there - haven't contributed on this board before but couldn't resist telling you that ......my ex-boyfriend once admitted to hanging his backside over the side of a sailing boat and c****ing overboard!! Apparently the waves acted as the loo rolll Urgh!!

I went for a piddle in the kitchen sink and some dirty devil had left tea leaves in there.

Harry - that has had me nearly piddlin' myself!!! LOL!!!

When I was young we lived in a flat.My Dad was worst for wear one night and went through the front door up to the flat above and pee'd on the front door of that flat and the lady came out and caught him. Good job she had a sense of humour because she pulled his leg for years after about it. Davex

like claire mine doesnt need to admit it, he would deny it, however a few weeks ago he had a small problem , sleep/drunk walking , when i called him to wake him he claimed in his stuper, it was not the corner of the bedroom and his pile of clothes, but a work colleague that he was using as a toilet, and shouted ( loud enough to wake our 18 year old )' if you dont believe me have a look, im peeing over ----,' name withheld just incase , son thought it hysterical next day when he heard, hubby was so embarassed must be first appology i got in 18 years