General Chat

Evening All Most of you will have read my threads about my daughter and my grandchildren, well today my beautiful little grandaughter has left her foster family and gone to live with her new mammy and daddy, as some will know i fought very hard to get social services to agree to look at placing her with her older sister, and this is what has happened, so, i have the twins and the younger two have been adopted by the same family together. I feel totally crushed, did'nt think i would be so bad but have to admit to feeling really awful,it feels as if someone has torn my heart out and the only thing that tells me they put it back again is the pain i am feeling. God i know i am so lucky to have the twins, but i would have liked all the girls to be together with us here. I have not been able to get hold of my daughter for a week now which means she is on yet another drugs/drink binge, and that too concerns me. So for my two beautiful little girls as they share their first night together, I am thinking of you cariads and sending you all my love. kes

a big hug on its way to u.we are all here if u need to talk xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

What a sad tale - I really feel for you Kes. From what you write it seems that there wan't the option of an Open Adoption Agreement. Or was there and it was rejected for some reason?

Its not all sad, some days are brill, when i think of what i have and what i have achieved it kind of balances out- its just that sometimes the pain is bigger than the joy. Tomorrow will see a new day and the girls will run me ragged again, we are off to the preschool picnic. It only ever takes one of them running up to me and throwing their arms around me and saying 'love you mum' to make me feel that it is all so worthwhile kes

I also wish you and your family a happy and trouble free future. I'm sure everyone else here does too.

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams. You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems. I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long. But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong. Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin... Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind. (((HUGS))) Maz x

well i knew the tears wouldnt be far away and they have just arrived in force, so im going to go and sit in my back garden and watch the moon come out, this is something that i used to do with the girls when they first came to me over three years ago, they were just 4mths old and weighed less that 10lbs night all speak to you tomorrow heartbroken kes x x

Kes I wish I could say I know how you feel but I can't but I do know how I would feel if it was my grandchild(ren). Having worked for an adoption agency for over 11 years, I wondered whether you have any direct or indirect contact arrangements? I do hope so then at least you will know they are happy and loved. My heart goes out to you. Lynne

maz that is lovely i wrote a peom for amber and ebony, the last verse is this 'You will hear me sing to you on the gentle breeze that blows And as you walk barefoot through the grass-thats me tickling your toes You will see my tears that fall in the patter of the rain And find my smile in the sunshine as it comes out again' kes x x x

Lynne i have indirect contact via letterbox and it is a two way contact as i felt it important for my girls to have something from their younger adopted sisters and not just us sending to them kes

I'm thinking of you, Kes. Believe me, and I speak as an adoptive parent as you know, the girls' new parents will be forever grateful to you. We're forever grateful to our kids' birth G-Gran and maternal aunt, as they gave them so much love. They had no part in the kids being put up for adoption, and it upset them. Take care - thanks for letting us know. x

Kes I am glad you have some contact. Make sure you get your details on the National Contact Register as well then if the girls want to make contact with you when they are 18, the agency will be able to put you in touch. You never know, by then, you may be able to make the first move. I know it's a long time but you will get through it. Luv, Lynne

That is so sad. I can't even begin to imagine how you feel, I just know even the thought is horrendous. I just hope that the new parents will understand the need for the 2 children to know of their siblings, grandparents and other family. Keep a book going to give them in later years of the twins' lives and anything else that you would like to share with them. I do hope you will be given the opportunity to see them and for them to meet their siblings. A big hug to join all the others. (((((Jacky )))))

Kes, I don't know what to say. Can't imagine what you must be feeling. Thinking of you all. Jan x

Kes, None of us can really know how you feel. those of us who are parents and grandparents can only start to imagine the pain. I feel for you so much. But you have your two lovely twins and they will always bring you love. I hope that one day in the future your other two girls will come back to you to see you. And at least that they will stay in contact with you. You will always know that you did your best. God bless. And I hope you soon have some news of your daughter too. Thinking of you Ann Glos

Kes, All the very best to you and your family I cannot add very much here as I really do not know what to say to you. But I do wish you the best of health and much happiness in the future. Take care all the very best. Love Pat x

Ohhh, Poor you. The only thing I can do is send you a big kiss X. I do not no what you are going through and can only imagine. Hope everything goes as well as expected. Natalia xx

Kes, so sad that you couldn't have your other two grandchildren but I am sure they will be greatly loved and at least you have the two-way contact that in time may grow stronger and stronger. May all these little ones thrive and be happy, and may you find the strength to go on caring for the twins and being there for the other two as well. I loved both the verses on this thread. I wish you all well. Take care. Liz

Oh Kes, How sad Will just send you all my love and positive thoughts love becx