General Chat

Elaine, I agree that pasta with sauces could be overwhelming - but this is a child who, until a couple of months back, regulary cleared a plate of pasta pesto (greasy and strongly flavoured with basil and parmasan) and then finished her sisters as well. I am hoping the mildness of the carbonara will not shock her too much. I thought reintroducing her old favourites, like the banana this afternoon and pasta, would encourage her to feel she was still getting her way, while I get what I want. I could be completely wrong, of course! (Taking a deep breath. Thinking happy calm thoughts and preparing tea.)

Most children go through a stage of 'fussy eating' my own four included, my grandaughter is now also the same! If to much attention is drawn to the situation, children often form a attachment to it and problems can then amount. Some children use their eating habits as a form of controlling their parents, because they know it is concerning you! My advice to you would be 'not to make to much fuss about it' believe me they will eat eventually :)) The first time after babyhood that my youngest son would try anything green was when he was approx 7-8 yrs, even then he would only try very small amounts, he now eats like a horse and cost me a fortune! Good luck! Lib:))

I wouldnt expect such young kids to eat such rich food as sauce laden pastas. Especially those started from scratch...(where the waste factor is harder to bear) maybe you should go back to plain type food. for the majority of the time...fish fingers, nuggets, etc. served with potato croquettes or mash potato with a tiny amount of cheese grated into it served with baked beans or sweetcorn. You can also put a tiny portion of veg or something new on the side,such as a tiny portion of the pasta dish, (freeze the rest) but not too many new things at once or you will have a mutiny on your hands. How about trying to buy those types of tray plates they use with school dinners ? Sometimes the novelty of such a plate may help. Elaine x

Thanks for all the extra support and ideas. The eldest is usually prepared to try these days, but the grimaces yesterday were winding me up. Once she was in bed last night, she did politely ask not to have that tea again, please. I can't really complain if she tries and declines politely. Littlest is only just communicating verbally. She is capable of shouting 'TOAS(T)' which, I suspect, would be her choice every meal. I am not sure she would link a star reward to what happened at mealtimes yet. That may be one to consider for the future, if needed. Littlest enjoys pasta pesto, so we are going to try tagliatelle with carbonara sauce instead tonight. If they don't like it, I shall calmly ditch it in the bin again. Fingers crossed.

Have you tried a star chart ? 2 stars If they eat the whole meal, (or a good percentage of it) an extra star if a new food has been tried (a whole spoonfull, or chunk of) Have a set amount of stars, say 10 stars, when they reach this amount on the chart, they get a treat (can be sweets or better still, a toy from the pound shop) You may find if one gets to the limit first, the other will try their best to reach the target. It wont be fun going to the shops watching their sibling get their reward, and them not getting theirs. Elaine x

HI congratulations on being stong last night, do you watch programmes like super nanny or little angels (i'm not saying that your children are like those little horrors) but they do often have good suggestions about mealtimes, one of the most important being do not make a battle of it, if they will not eat let them get down from the table and play or go to bed they will soon realise who is in charge, Linda P

Try asking them now what they would like for tea tonight, give them whatever they request, tell them that you will choose tomrrows tea and take in turns. Turn it into a game. xxhugxx

well done RW. Just think thats another day done and dusted. Do you want my tiddler she has just refused pasta for lunch and have had to cook sausages for her mind you she did ask for seconds. Keep going you will get there and hey a banana thats progress.

And so, having been 'starved', eldest ate porridge without comment this morning. Littlest declined breakfast, but has eaten a large lunch, including a banana, with gusto. Round 2 to Mummy. :)

Sadly, we already do the cooking thing. Until recently I'd be with you recommending it to the world. Pizzas were on eldest limited list of foods when she was little, so we could either let her make her own, or sneak all sorts on under the cheese without a complaint. Sausages were ok too, so we would get ones with extra fruit or veg content from the local butchers. Little just picks and rejects them. Who knows. Perhaps this evening will have shaken things up a little. The eldest usually responds well to a reminder that some politeness is expected. If she is not setting Littlest a bad example, perhaps I can turn a blind eye to the rest. Off to cook for Hubby now. Thanks again. Night, night.

RW The only thing I can say is don't worry! Our son ate what seemed like next to nothing for weeks on end at one stage but thrived and hasn't suffered. If you're concerned about the fruit and veg remember that a small carton of apple juice or orange juice is a portion in 5ADAY terms, as is a tablespoon of raisins (or one of those mini boxes of raisins). Baked beans are fine in their diet but watch the salt and sugar in them. Our kids like chomping on a thin slice of sweet melon, will eat cucumber sticks and baby plum tomatoes as a snack, and are better at apples if they are chopped up etc. Bananas go well with custard, and apples can be stewed with a handful of sultanas and served with a little icecream.... experiment to see what works with your kids but focus on experimenting at times when you are not stressed and so can deal with any tantrums without getting worked up yourself. If you are really concerned about whether the kids are getting the right diet, talk to your health visitor and I am sure they will reassure you. For kids under 5 its worth thinking about vitamin drops as extra back up - again you could discuss with your health visitor. And there are various official websites that might be of interest - the 5aday site at wwwdot5adaydotnhsdot uk (I think) and wwwdotfooddotgovdot uk - which is the food standards agency site but there's a bit of it that is about healthy lunchboxes etc and an 'eatwell' subsite by the food standards agency wales that I've personally found helpful. Anyway, thats enough from me as I don't want to bore you. You sound like you're doing the right things anyway - and don't stop offering 'sophisticated' foods every so often. Nothing wrong with exposing kids to themfor the experience - just watch the salt! Angela

Me again How about pizzas, either buy or make the bases and let them decide what goes on their one and make it themselves. My son eats the pizza base with nothing on it? Went on a school trip to pizza place and they made their own pizzas and ate them in the park on the way back to school, his teacher just looked at me and said he had it plain nothing on it, my reply was that is normal at least he ate the base. Children love making their own things. Fruit juice counts as a portion of fruit so if shes drinking juice no problem.

My youngest went through a non eating phase. We agreed he could prepare his own food even if it was peanut butter sandwiches every day for nursery packed lunch. He is now 17 and nearly six foot tall so I don't think it did him any harm. I was told that at about three children actually need to eat less as they are not growing very fast. He still quite enjoys cooking which will be useful when he leaves home. Can you provide buffet style meals little packs of cereals or different flavour crisps so they can choose what they like.

Thanks all. I kept it calm on the outside, but the inside has calmed down as well now. The eldest was a fussy eater with a tiny appetite when she was smaller, but had a repetoir that covered all the food groups so I didn't worry. Once she started school meals she opened up to all sorts. She usually tries something because she has learnt a few times that it sometimes tastes better than it looks. I'm more worried about littlest who is now rejecting almost everything and hasn't eaten anything resembling fruit or veg (apart from Bkd Beans) in weeks. (Still drinks fruit juice). Ah well. Deep breath. Thanks for your time and input. She wont starve and beans on toast is suposed to be highley nutricious, right?

RW another thing that have thought of that works with us is if we put the food in dishes in the middle of table and let them help themselves they seem to eat more than if put on a plate for them. And as for cooking three different meals thats what its like in our house, hell at times but like you sure we will get there in the end

I'm kind of in the business as, though I am an administrator, I work in the early years nutritional field for Government. I also had the same problem as you with my eldest who has just turned 7. He started off as a toddler willing to try everything, then backtracked and refused all but a very few things. We kept putting the things he was refusing - mainly salad items and veg - on the table at every meal and we all dug in even though he ignored them so they weren't wasted. After months of this, and years in the case of some veg, he decided to have a try. Now apart from anything that looks like a leaf he'll have a go at most things I serve. I can't pretend it was easy getting here, and I'm glad I don't have it all in front of me but we did get there and you will. My personal tip would be cut new foods into small/attractive pieces and put it into in lots of small plastic bowls on the table for kids to help themselves. Giving kids pitta pockets or tortillas to fill for themselves from the bowls goes down well in our house. We also create games around healthy food - for example we open our sugar snap peas to see which of us has the most 'money', make salad gardens on our plates, and mashed potato faces with veggie features. It relieves tension at mealtimes and makes them much less stressful. Angela

All is calm in the camp then, good I'll tell you now, My mum Did it to me when I was small and I cried till i made myself sick - she never did it again. I agree, you shouldnt be subjected to kiddie choices and nor have to cook 3 meals to satisfy all. Can you give them something they like for say, lunch, then as you know they have had a reasonable meal ( and strangled Egg on toast is a lot better than many lunches I could name) Just present them with a titchy portion of what you have chosen for tea and then just say ''well, get down then, if you dont want it'' They'll not starve, and they'll get bored far quicker than you. (1/2 dozen smarties for the one that eats the titchy tea though) jess x

I wouldn't force mine to eat. I had a similar problem when my daughter was little suddenly refusing to eat. I found what she liked and gave it her, she grew out of it eventually.She wouldn't touch an egg but got her to eat the yolk, one day said to her dad make sure she eats that she likes them now. Not thinking he made her eat the white, she promptly threw it up and she didn't touch another egg for over 20 years. She has the same problem now with her little one. Be patient they will grow out of it. When they are older they will try things as you will be able to reason better with them. For now indulge them and sneak a little bit of something different to them now and again. Don't try and hide the sprouts in the cabbage though LOL they spot that. Germaine x

thanx jess :-)

Re the fritata. I thought perhaps as the little one likes eggs and the eldest tolerates them and liked the extras, we might have found a mutually acceptable tea. It would appear I will be cooking three separate teas for the next few years, two of which will be frequently rejected on whim, one will be eaten in less time than it takes to walk it to the table. Ah well. Littlest has just said 'No' to trying her tea again and gone to sleep.