General Chat

Steedie I know this is an awful shock. We tend to think when we are young that we will live for ever and so will all our relatives. The older you are, the slower cancer progresses, so things aren't necessarily as grim as they seem now. The important thing is to be grateful for what you had, and what you have, and not bitter or regretful for what you might not have in the future. I only had one grandparent effectively, in my childhood. She lived to be 97 and was a remarkable woman. Now I have discovered more about her life I am even more amazed by what she coped with. She is an inspiration still. nell

sending u a hug xxxx

awwww sweetie sending you huge hugs Love Jan n Rick xx

I am so sorry, Steph. Joy

Hi Steph, sweatheart you really must stay positive. Listen to all the positive peeps on here & give your Nanny all the support you can. You've had a dreadful shock but as others have said, it may not be as bad as you are imagining. Positive thoughts are on their way to you all now but would you like me to add you all to the healing book as well? Stay strong Love Vivienne

My brother in law had what he thought was a tummy upset a few months ago. A couple of days later he turned yellow, literally overnight. Out of the blue he found himself with advanced pancreatic cancer - one of the worst kinds of cancer to get. He had a long operation, then MRSA(definitely not planned) now chemo. He has good days and bad days. At first he and my sister were shellshocked, then devastated, then angry. Over time those feelings, though they never go away and vary from day to day, have been overlaid with quiet persistence and determination to get through it. Nothing can make what he has any less serious, but he and we have come to terms with it and make the best of what we have. My advice would therefore be to live for today, make th most of every moment, hope for the future - but most of all love each other and share your positiveness and strength. It does help. Angela

Chin up Steedie. I lost my gran who brought me up unexpectedly. She went into hospital for a cataract removal and died there. Make the most of the time you have left with her and, for her sake as much as yours, be positive. (((((((hug))))))) xx Jim

Morning Steedie, so sorry to hear your news, am thinking of you all, take good care :)

Thinking of you Steph, Magi

thank you all so much for your replies, i cant explain what it means to me. i did call my nan, we didnt talk for long, i didnt cry on the phone to her (but she did tell me off for not being at work) i told her i love her and to give me a call when she wants someone to stamp her feet with. we didnt talk for long neither of us could manage to. thank you for all your positive thoughts and replies. you have all made me feel more positive. xxxx

Whatever you do keep going to visit her regularly as before, discuss everything and anything with her do not let your own feelings stop you. The one thing she will need most is the company of friends and family. Have been there it gets very lonely when people stop visiting because THEY can not face up to the situation, your Nan will have to. People are frightened that they will say the wrong thing and upset you so tend to stay away to save themselves the embarrasment. Dont be afraid be yourself, go and visit her she will love you for it, your support will help her feel stronger and more able to face the future positively. Six ops and treatment and I am still here 12 years later, stay POSITIVE you may find it hard but it will be of great help to your NAN. Best wishes to you both. Ken.

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Thinking of you hun. Maz. XX

Steph, thinking of you and your nan. But do listen to all the advice you have had on here, especially Ken, what he says is right, don't stop going to see her because you are upset, she need you to carry on as normal. Positive thoughts for her that she gets through this, and if they have caught it early enough she will Lovexxxxxxx Ann Glos

im so sorry Steph, Thinking of you. Roxanne xx

Steph You know I'm here for you sweetheart anytime. Lots of love Clare, Katie anf James xxxx

So sorry Steph..... My prayers are with you and I hope it isn't cancer. All my love, Natalia x

Try to keep your chin up. My nan practically brought me up, as mum worked and nan was always there, as she lived with us. It was terrible when she died, but we had to be strong for mum. Still, we had spent as much time we could with her and did a lot for her, she was surrounded by love right up until the end and she knew that. We've just had a fright with mum, as her doctor told her she had skin cancer. We got her an urgent appointment with the consultant who took one look at it and said that although the mark might be cancerous it certainly shouldn't be life-threatening and is easily treatable. I really despair of doctors saying these things without really knowing, I wish her GP hadn't put the fear of God in her (and us) until it was confirmed. I hope things turn out ok for your nan, but do let her know you're there for her and give her lots of hugs and encouragement and try not to get upset in front of her. Jan

Hi Steph, Sorry to hear your news. On Friday I was with a lady I look after (Cleaning, laundry etc). She is 89 and has had five different cancers, the last around eighteen months ago being bowel cancer. She had to have a stoma fitted but copes very well with it and is a very determined lady. Until this last cancer she was going to classes at college to learn italian, before that it was German, and French. She also had piano lessons. Now she is a little less active and can't quite get out on her own(lack of confidence) but the thing is, she has no relatives in this country. Her husband died 41 years ago, her sister and niece are in Canada and her friends are fewer and fewer as they die off. She is in sheltered housing but as she is deaf finds it difficult to mix sometimes, so she spends a lot of time alone. If someone with so little support can get through this, I am sure your nan with all your love and support will get through this too. If you can't always speak to her or visit, send a funny postcard or card - it is nice to have something to open in the mornings and to re read during the day, or catch a glimpse of , or show to visitors. MY very best wishes for her speedy recovery and may you find the strength to cope with this sad time. Liz

Steph this does not need to be a death sentence,as I know five people who have been diagnosed with bowel cancer in the last few years my bil in particular had a huge operation but is working like a young man again on his farm and they are all still going well after their operations .So please ring your Nan and tell her how much you love her and that you will be waiting for her to be a great grand mother to your children make sure you let her know you expect her to fight this and not to give in that you love and need her around but especially just call her it doesn't matter if you cry it will do her good to have a cry too probably . I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers Fond regards Lara