General Chat

Anyone else feel that there is a definite meeting of souls and wit here? LOL BC

Dear Bright Ears I am gladdened by your eagerness, and perhaps a burning desire, to prolong our affectionate correspondence. Either I am on to a winner, or the evening class you are taking in basic letter writing skills is demanding further practice from you. I suspect it to be the former, for your starry-eyed reference to there never being another like me is quite touching, although not unexpected. I had no idea as to your acting abilities ( in fact I have seen no evidence of you having any ability in anything ). If you have appeared in pantomime then that would no doubt explain your propensity to over elaborate on the make-up. My mother welcomed your best wishes and asked me to let you know that her attempts at trying to achieve an intellectual conversation with you was first class preparation for communicating with those she is now caring for. In fact she now has them feeding from her hand, rather like the influence I seem to have over you. However you really should try to restrain your obsession with my mother. Although, to be fair, I do find it quite understandable, what with your mother being able to visit you just once every year. Still………….. the 31st of October will soon come around again. I would of course be more than happy to prove my red-bloodedness to you. I am sure that with the liberal assistance of mirrors, a large paper bag and a good book I could overcome the obvious obstacle of your discouraging appearance. I do, of course, understand you fully when you use the words thrill, excite and exercise in the same sentence when referring to me. I too am pleased to be working at McDonalds, for it does have it’s rewards. Perhaps I can get them to lift their ban on you. I have found it so satisfying writing this letter to you, I feel as though I am doing my bit for the community. I look forward to hearing from you again, just as soon as you have something interesting to say. I shall dream of you tonight …………………… and pray that I shall still be alive in the morning, Yours forever……

Sugar My evening classes are going so well, thanks to your obsession with writing to me i am able to help the other students too as they too pen replies (can't send them to you as there is a law against words like that) Of course you wouldn't have noticed my acting abilities as they were confined to the bedroom and you were far too busy having a good time...... I have ran out of nice things to say about your mother but i'm sure yours and mine could share a perfect friendship. I have no desire to lift my ban at McDonalds as the thought of seeing your face whilst eating just turns my stomach but i appreciate you need to keep me close at all times. I feel it wise that you stick with this employment as we have previously spoken about setting your sights too high and i don't know if you could cope with yet more rejection. (but please keep taking the pills as they make you ALMOST human) As for doing your bit for the community surely doing your community service covers your requirements.... It is so nice of you to dream of me as i have said keeping me near at all times. I do feel that you are becoming obsessed with me but by replying to you i too feel i do my bit for the community after all it keeps you off the streets and out of trouble. with bated breath i await your reply

Loving this! xx

Dear Adoring Bright Eyes Thank you so much for your idolizing letter, I am greatly underwhelmed to learn that you dote on my every word and await my replies with such eagerness. In fact I am glad you mentioned your baited breath, for it makes it easier for me to suggest that you seek an appointment with a dental hygienist as soon as you can. I hear what you say about the likelihood of our mothers forming a close bond. Perhaps, as soon as I have got my mother that crucifix I promised her for her birthday, they could arrange to meet. I am so sorry that I did not recognize the demonstration of your acting abilities. I was so engrossed in watching football on TV that I thought those noises were coming from outside in the garden. By the way, could you please apologize to your neighbours for the bucket of water that I threw over their cat. I did indeed dream of you last night. I cannot remember it exactly but you must have been very passionate, for there were duck feathers all over the bedroom this morning. I know exactly what you mean about suffering from nausea in McDonald’s. I feel the same when I am preparing the customers’ meals. I have found that a couple of scopolamine pills are a fairly good preventative treatment, however I decided to take a double dose before I met you, just in case. With your infatuation for me now seemingly blossoming I really would like to whisk you off somewhere warm and exotic. But could you let me know your availability very soon please, for there is always great demand for tickets to the Tropical House at Kew Gardens. I regret that you are, of course, totally wrong in thinking that I am obsessed with you when it is obviously the other way round. I am not complaining of course, for I am very much used to it and expect it, but I am concerned about your state of mind ( leaving aside the state of your body ). I detect that you are probably under some stress right now so I suggest that you get yourself a couple of sizzlers. Although I am sure that you will find that their magnetism can no way match that which draws you ever closer to me. I shall be sending you your Christmas card soon………………… I have found one that suits you so well. Yours, for as long as you need me, etc, etc.

Oh Boy This game of tit-4-tat is getting so boring and as my mother always said ' when there is nothing to say, say nothing'. One thing though your admiration for me is commendable but how many ways are there to say GET LOST. Yours xx

My Dearest Bright Eyes Well............. in that case I had better let you have your Christmas card now and say goodbye. It will be with you soon, Allways your admirer etc, etc

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM YOUR ONE AND ONLY With thoughts of you on such a joyful day There are so many sweet things that I could say For I recall ALL of the seasons spent with you Such unforgettable times, all year through In springtime you bloomed like a fresh young flower That grew and grew, hour by hour Like a beautiful daffodil you did sway After Pernod and lemon all night and all day Like summer’s sweet nectar your perfume was inviting So many of earth’s creatures around you I kept sighting Such halcyon days they will always be for me For you did float like a butterfly, and sting like a bee Like autumn’s harvest you were abundant and ripe And you warmly welcomed the season’s charitable hype I was so proud of your insistence every day To test all of the offerings before being sent on their way I am so sorry I cannot be with you on the festive day For after such a trying year I must get away I shall be in the Maldives, where I will raise a glass To my “Adoring Bright Eyes”……………and her loveable fat **** ( Stands back and waits to be kicked off GR )

welllllllllllllll i dont care anyway i musta been mad in the first place to think youd ever get off the prozac

Not much of a poet but stole these words, think you will agree they fit perfectly. You're a bum You're a punk You're an old Sl*t on junk Lying there almost Dead on a drip In that bed You scum bag You maggot You're cheap and you're haggard Happy Christmas your ar*e I pray God It's our last I could have been someone Well so could anyone You took my dreams From me when I first found you I kept them with me babe I put them with my own Can't make it all alone I've built my dreams Around you Merry Christmas Darlin xxxx

Your words, like no other's, have touched my heart I can no longer bear for us to be apart To Venice! we will go, this weekend together Your Sun will shine brightly.................... whatever the weather Throw some things in a bag, what you are wearing will be fine For I, with a taxi, will call about nine Please don't say no, for everyone can see That in the whole wide world..............................you're the only one for me.

THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER ASK Think this covers my answer The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat, They took some honey, and plenty of money, Wrapped up in a five pound note. The Owl looked up to the stars above, And sang to a small guitar, 'O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love, What a beautiful Pussy you are, you are, you are, What a beautiful Pussy you are.' Pussy said to the Owl 'You elegant fowl, How charmingly sweet you sing. O let us be married, too long we have tarried; But what shall we do for a ring?' They sailed away, for a year and a day, To the land where the Bong-tree grows, And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood With a ring at the end of his nose, his nose, his nose, With a ring at the end of his nose. 'Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?' Said the Piggy, 'I will' So they took it away, and were married next day By the Turkey who lives on the hill. They dined on mince, and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon. And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand. They danced by the light of the moon, the moon, the moon, They danced by the light of the moon. Forever yours xxx

So! ............................... how many of you guessed that there would be a happy ending? I hope no one is disappointed. LOL My thanks to Lisa, who was cultured and witty from start to finish, for allowing me to have some fun with her on her thread. And I would just like to say................................ that no animals, friendships or vain conceited casanovas were harmed during the course of this thread. Keith

Just read this and have one word to say BRILLIANT :0)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

well done both of you it was great!! Julia

We (Keitn and I) are so glad you have all enjoyed this thread. My thanks to Keith for getting my brian working again and keeping me sane over the last few weeks and everyone who PMed us both to let us know you were having fun with us. Also thanks to my Producer, Agent etc etc etc Hey you never know when part 2 will appear Watch this space!!!!! Lisa XXX

MORE MORE MORE!!! Brilliant Thread You Two!! Very Witty Indeed!! (Well Done!) Kim XX