General Chat

When I was divorced in 1990, I went from an affluent lifestyle to grinding poverty overnight. I got a job as a Waitress and my wages were paid in cash. I did not have a Bank Account and paid all my bills either in cash or with a Building Society cheque. When I finally got my divorce settlement I tried to buy a house. Absolutely impossible - I was told that as I had no Credit history, they could not lend to me. This despite the fact that at the time, the monthly mortgage repayments would have been less than the rent I was paying. Oddly enough, now that I am unemployed and have no visible means of support (LOL) I could borrow thousands at the drop of a hat! Personally, I think the 'money business' is completely and utterly amoral. If all the debt were called in tomorrow, this country would be utterly bankrupt. Most of the stuff we buy, we do not actually NEED. You only have to go round any Car Boot Sale to see enough secondhand clothes to dress the whole of Africa. And the artificial raising of house prices (led by the Money Lenders) means that my three daughters cannot afford to buy a one-bedroomed shack in the County of their birth. My daughter has a friend aged 25 who has just filed for bankruptcy with debts of over £45K. She does not own a house. The money was spent on clothes, makeup, cosmetics and going out. I would die! Olde Crone

My dad worked as a debt collector for a short time many years ago and witnessed the misery that being in debt caused. He instilled in us (five children) from an early age the importance of living within your means, he used to say, write down your NEEDS and your WANTS on two separate sheets of paper,then rip the sheet of WANTS into little pieces and throw it in the bin. Apart from having mortgages none of us ever owed a penny to anyone.

And often when these couples are interviewed they are sort of proud of the size of their debt. Ann Glos

Dea Yes I think they thought she was older than she is. Told her in future to give them a polite 'No Thank You'. Joy

Dea Yes I think they thought she was older than she is. Told her in future to give them a polite 'No Thank You'. Joy

Roxanne, I agree that advertising is to some extent to blame for the 'I want' society, and the ads are often aimed at children Joy, I find that worrying, that your daughter got offered a store card, did they think she was older than she was do you think? Dee x

Dee That sort of thing doesn't work with me. I always check if I can afford to pay for it before I buy it. No matter how much I want it/need it. I muddle through till I can afford it. Credit is all too easy to obtain these days. I can recall my parents were turned down several times when I was younger and my Dad wad in a secure job working as a Prison Officer. Joy PS: Daughter was offered a Store Card 2 weeks ago. She's only 15.

CB You seem to have been able to sort out a reasonable 'compromise' when you had your little one, and were lucky to get good child care. Sadly some of the childcare I have seen over the years has been far from adequate I was lucky and didn't have to work when my son was young.My OH had a reasonably well paid job, but we certainly went without holidays and things that we considered luxuries, but others in our circle at the time thought of as necessities I dread to think what will happen when my son and his wife decide to start a family, they certainly need both wages to pay their mortgage. Bob I don't have a problem with credit cards, I would find life very difficult without mine, for one thing I wouldn't be able to buy so many books online!!! Seriously though, we pay ours off each month, and I count myself lucky that we can. Not everyone is that fortunate Dee x

Dee, I agree with you, it an'I want society' these days, they think of credit cards as a magical way of paying, and then worry when the bills cant be paid, I blame alot on advertising.

I've been there in the past - a reasonably good job, but a mortgage and car loan meant I had little to spare for 'luxuries'. My first flat was kitted out with second-hand furniture and appliances and I didn't buy anything really 'nice' for years, or have a holiday. I couldn't have survived without some credit, though, and was often very lonely and miserable during those years - buying something nice always cheered me up a bit. Nowadays we pay off out credit card every month and have only one debt - the mortgage. I think it's quite easy to get into debt these days, maybe because things become obsolete so quickly, there is no desire to save up for items that will be discarded in a couple of years.

Dee, I'll echo that too. I think employers should be given incentives to employ mothers part-time, and job-sharing should be far more widespread than it is. Despite being determined not to return to work till my son started school at age 5, I was forced to give up work early due to a difficult pregnancy, which left us short of cash at an awkward time. Interest rates were high, and so 15 months after my son was born, I needed to go back to work to maintain our standard of living, which was by no means lavish. I was lucky enough to find two days' per week sharing a job in London, which meant commuting from home, so a long day away from my child, but he was well cared for and I could earn far more in Central London than locally, so it was worthwhile. I wasn't too pleased when, after a couple of years, I was told I'd have to work 3 days per week or lose the job, but the pay was very good, so I took on the extra day. That cut out my 'free' day each week, but by then my son was at a nursery, so he wasn't missing out on company or activities, and I could still get all my household chores done on the other two weekdays, leaving weekends free for fun. Subsequently, I managed to find three other part-time jobs that fitted in with my son's school hours, but I was really lucky to find those, as they were very much in demand. As for mortgages, I shudder when I think how many times his salary my son would need to be able to afford to buy the cheapest of homes in this area. I don't see that there's anything wrong with taking out loans, as long as you have the ability to pay them back. What I think is wrong is people knowingly overstepping their limits in the hope that the banks and credit companies will just raise their lending limit all the time. I think that's asking for trouble. I've seen people take advantage of that and come to grief when something goes wrong (such as redundancy or being widowed), and they've really suffered for it for years afterwards. >*|*<

We actually have 4 credit cards but each time we use them I (in my accounts book) write the amount down and take it off what we have in the bank, if we don't have the money to pay it doesn't get bought. then we pay off the whole amount each month, it is just a cnvenient way of having tow rite one check for ppayments. but I am quite strong disciplined and would not spend what i don't have. Ann glos

does having a barclaycard count? since my firm went''cashless'' I have had a barclaycard. however I make sure that the monthly bill is paid in full, I wont, if I can help it, pay interest on a loan...........(mortgage was different.........) bob

I think that the mortgage lenders have a lot to answer for. They offer so much money now that young couples actually feel they can afford bigger and better houses and end up needing two jobs to pay for the mortgage. As somebody just said, when we were young it was 2.5 times your annual salary. I remember when we moved her 13 years ago our lenders offered us so much money we said we wouldbe way past retirement age and probably dead before it was paid off. Thhe spokesman said 'that is OK, we can just reclaim it from your estate'. We didn't take it. Ann Glos

Well I am pleased to see that I am not the only one who still has 'old fashioned values' . Brian, I tend to agree with you about mortgages. I am disheartened to find so many children left to their own devices while their parents struggle to earn enough to keep a roof over their heads. I would like to see more women given the chance to be full time mothers, or for that matter men having a chance to spend more time with their children. Perhaps that is a debate that we could take further sometime Dee xx

Hi Dee I don't know if you're being old-fashioned:) I don't have a lot but what I do have mostly came on HP or through bank loans because if I hadn't have done that I wouldn't have bugger all lol. Our car, fridge, oven, settees & our last holiday were all only in our grasp because of borrowing. Not wild extravagances but I wouldn't want to go without them:) I don't see mortgages as being any different (although I don't have one now) - people are still buying something and paying for it in instalments. David

I'm not sure that mortgages ARE any different. When we got married you could borrow three times your own salary or two and a half times joint. House prices were fairly stable. Then the banks and building societies started lending higher ratios and you needed two incomes to service it. House prices took off. Full-time mothers disappeared, unless the husband had a very good job. Kids were left to their own devices, with the ensuing social problems. Inheritance tax and how to minimise it used to be a problem for the wealthy, now it affects everyone who owns their home. (No way do I want to give Gordon 40% of what I've worked for).

Nell How very true. I was the same. Got most things from jumble sales. Went picking 'tatties' or even pinching them to survive. Did get new socks and knickers at xmas though lol. I made my own kids pay part of their £80 trainers etc from their paper round money, and made them save if they wanted something I thought was a waste. They now say it wasnt fair on them at the time but are glad we treated them like that. A few of their friends got everything they wanted, some are still living off their parents. We do spoil them a bit now though. Marion

Hi Dee Well if your old fashioned then I am too But happy that I am If I can't pay cash for it then I simply don't buy it. It is too easy to get yourself into debt these days I do have a Credit Card but have never had to pay interest on it yet. Infact I have had it for 4 years and only used it twice for air fares that I booked on the internet. I immediately drew the money out of savings and payed Credit Card off. I know many people that live on Credit. I would worry myself silly if I had to do that. Regards'Jackie

Buying a house with a mortgage is a bit different as, most of the time, the property increases in value, unlike most other things that are decrease as soon as you remove them from the store. Have taken advantage of buy now pay later, but like Ann I have had the money to pay anyway. Will soon, in two weeks pay the mortgage off and only have a settee and chair on interest free credit. Seems silly not to take advantage of it when it is on offer, better my money in my account. Ros.