General Chat

<<<<HUGS>>>> to you all for being so lovely! Lots of love, Becx (and Gav')

Hi Bec - just seen this thread. Do hope it works out with your brother, bless him - BUT bless you too for being such a caring sister:o)))) Take care Keep us updated:o) jude sarf wales x

Bec Keep us posted on how things go for your little bro and you. I hope dad and stepmom can keep their feeling about your mum out of family life (or atleast save it for when your brother is out of the house). I know how hard teenagers are to look after and have a 15 1/2 yr old brother myself. I'm luck that my parents are still together but when my brother was younger, I had a niggleing thought in the back of my head 'what if mum and dad died, who would look after us? could I bear to be seperated from my brother?' I knew the answers but it never made it easier. When I het 16 and my brother still wouldnt listen to my I snap and said in frount of my mother ' If anything happened to mum and dad who do you think would have to look after you' both me and mum were nearly in tears but I managed to say Me thats how! I would be expected to look after you untill you are 18 so you had better do so I say. Poor mum had to back me up. 7 years on my brother still doen't listen to me unless we are on our own or he comes to stay with me. But at least he listens a bit more now. Now I'm the one who's moaning! Sorry :-(( ((((((((((((((((((Hugs to you and your bro)))))))))))))))))))

oh bec, take him in i feel so sad for him, and you, you could both do with a hug, dont let them distroy his confidence, and make him sad, hell love it with his big sister can i just add, hubby was in a distructive situation as a lad, he joined up at 16 , he said his life began then, he didnt have someone to offer him a life line at that age, i hope you and your brother can remain close, and im sure you will , what ever you decide to do, youll always be there for him i wish you both all the best, hell soon be a young man, (well he is now) i send you a hug both of you

Wish I had a sister like you Bec :-)!!

Bec - well done for explaining the situation to your Dad and I'm really pleased he's agreed to work at it. Hope everything works out well. Daisy

Great news, Bec. I hope your Dad's proud of his daughter for being such a caring one. Well done! (Er, ask Gav to give you a hug from me, will you? Ta!) x

That's good news Bec, you're too young to start playing mum to a teenager. Now just enjoy your life, you gave me a laugh on the gentlemen thread. Vivienne

Am sooooooooo relieved. He FINALLY replied and said that he hadn't realised how bad things were. He's going to try A LOT harder and work at it. He's also going to stop badmouthing Mum. Thanks for everything everyone. Looks like Gav' will be staying where he is for the meantime! Love Becx

becs for one your step mother and afther should not be badmouthing your mother in front of him.if i were his sister i would be sitting down and having a chat to my father about what they are doing and how it upsetting your brother and i assume you.i would never let my father do that.i was in the same boat as your brother when i was 16.my father just didn't have the time for me and said to me if i didn't like it then i could move back with my motehr on which i packed my bags and left...my mother took me in straight away without any fuss and i lived with her for 2 years.she would never turn me away.just because children grow up and parents think tehy have no responsibility to their children it is a mothers duty to be there for their children no matter what age.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx((((:

Well I've sent him (Dad) an email. Not very personal I know but I cried throughout so would be worse on the phone. Let's hope he takes it in the vein it was meant :0S Thanks again everyone, Love becx

Thanks Glenys It'd be good for him to have someone else to talk to, for another perspective if nothing else. I will pass the number onto him, it's difficult for me to advise him when I'm so involved. Thanks again, Becx

Bec, I know Gav is 16, but hows about him ringing Childline for advice? I suggest that, as it's there (so I understand) for quite a lot of different aspects, as well as the obvious ones. I may be proved wrong, and if I am, you're quite within your rights to call me a prat!! But it may be worth a try. Good luck. x

Lou - no, I'm just his big sister... and I feel a responsibility for his happiness. Jean Joy - Mum would never have him back with her. She has minimal involvement in my life and his, she has a nice and easy life and she wouldn't change that. I'm so bloody angry! I spoke to my Dad about this situation a few months ago, and he disagreed when I said that my brother should be his focus. He believes that his new marriage should be his focus! Children are for LIFE! You can't just have them, and then when you get distracted by someone new, move your attention!

bec hes lucky to hav a sister as nice as u good luck with watever u do lou xx

Ann - I wish. After being apart for 12 years they still HATE each other. They're more interested in scoring points against each other and being hurtful then caring for their childrens' welfare! Mum's happy with her new quiet life with her fiance. Dad's too concerned with his new wife than his son. Feel like I'm the only one who really cares about him sometimes!

Thanks Lunar. If he was to move in with me then I would expect both my parents to provide completely for his financial wellbeing and towards a larger flat. I just get SOOOOO angry! They both said that when they separated (and consequently divorced) that they'd make sure we were as unaffected as possible. Yet now it seems they've both found new lives and are more concerned with their new OHs than their children. My sister and I may be adults now, and brother a teenager, but we will always be their children and they need to realise that! Sorry for ranting, am just so sick of this, I've had over 12 years of covering up my parents' mistakes and caring for my siblings! Becx

Can't you get your mother involved, afterall he is her responsibility aswell, she cannot just wash her hands of him. Maybe she should be talking to your Dad about a solution.

Bec, I think that if your brother was living with you and in full time education, you would be able to claim child allowence for him, just as your dad would do now. Technically at 16 your brother could leave home if he wanted to but couldn't get a loan or morgage until 18. If he's sitting GCSE's this year then a move may not be the best time to move to another school but he is old enough to make his own choices. May be he could come and stay with you for a few weeks in the holidays and see how it goes (I know it would be cramped but short term as a trial run may be it would work) What ever happens I hope things work out for you all

Thanks Julie... don't suppose you know where I can acquire a Magic Wand from? lol xx