General Chat

Mine!!!!

Evening all . . . Just had to share this, Was shopping at Coles this afternoon, picking out some fruit when a young mum came along. She had a wee girl of about 10months in the trolley and Mr Preschooler walking along beside her. I wasn't sure I hear right, but I thought I heard Mr Preschooler saying 'V - ag - ina thats how you spell Vagina isn't it mum !' then it went something like this . . . . 'Yes Clint, would you like to help me pick out some apples' 'I like vaginas mum, do you like em too ?' 'Yes, What apples would you like, red ones or green ones' 'Can you get red and green vaginas mum' 'Come on Clint, you hold the bag while I put the apples in' 'vagina apples, vagina apples, vagina apples' 'vagina magina bgina' by now my whole body is in great pain from holding back the laughter - the tears are rolling down my face Poor mum is getting flustered and I am ready to explode . . . . Mum grabs the apples and heads for the Easter display obviously to try and change the train of thought A short conversation results in a bag of Fredo Frogs being put into the custody of Mr Preschooler Mum walks off pushing the trolley with Mr Preschooler in hot pursuit, skipping in that gauky way that only little boys can achieve, shaking the Fredos to provide the music for his little song . . . singing at the top of his voice 'v - ag - ina spells v - ag - ina, v - ag - ina spells vagina, v - ag - ina spells vagina . . . . ' I so hope that mum writes it down so she doesn't forget and brings it up at a 21st birthday in about 17years time! That little boy doesn't know it but he gave about 15 people the greatest laugh of their lives this afternoon. CONGRATULATIONS JOODLES !!!!!! Poor Jan, hope you have a good visit tomorrow . . be thinking positive thoughts for you ! Just think in about four years that could be your Lucas ! Off to add Lucas to my tree . . . catch you all later Hiiipppyyy Haaappyyy Easter (thats me after chockies) cheers luv Laurie PPPSSS Lara, I got the Lotto numbers on the second go hon, tah muchly !!!

Rebs, good jokes (my two nurses in training had told me the first one - they thought it hillarious) Don't think I'll show hubby the second!!! cuwl Vonny

One for the boys......... Subject: Why ARE Condoms Sold In boxes of 3, 6, 12??? A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, 'What are these, Dad? To which the man matter-of-factly replies, 'Those are called condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex.' 'Oh I see,' replied the boy pensively. 'Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.' He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks... 'Why are there 3 in this package?' The dad replies, 'Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.' 'Cool' says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, 'Then who are these for?' 'Those are for college men,' the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.' 'WOW!' exclaimed the boy, 'then who uses THESE?' he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, 'Those are for married men. one for January, one for February, one for March......'

good evening all , Tony hope Barb is feeling better now and her mum is ok . now about you and I do a duet I don't think so mate I've got nothing against the people who are coming here mate and you wouldn't inflict my singing on your worst enemy unless of course we hand out cottonwool and we can go for it then after a few VBs for you and for me a few pretendy Baileys lol Lew that will be lovely a little bub for you too cuddle will make you feel better and like Laurie I love the smell of new babies there is nothing like it is there in the whole world and bet you glad that it rained today. Anna let's hope for your son and my daughter we have some sort of win I would be very happy with about $10,000 thanks whoever is in charge of picking who wins, at least Cassie would then be able to pay her solicitor and fix a few of the blasted things that are wrong with the house built by the builders from hell Ezy Homes NOT they are the worst builders ever, everyone needs to be let know don't have anything to do with them under any circumstances . ok rave over Joodles congratulations granma,Lucas is a nice strong name for a boy and it's nice for when they grow up isn't it sounds strong and manly, love and best wishes to your daughter and hubbie too lucky girl you are you might get to have cuddle tomorrow and have that lovely new baby smell too or grief I'm clucky for some new granchildren Susan let's know when you get your broad band and what you think of it I have the slowest dial up of all time and it's driving me nuts Rebs come on what are you up too? mischief I bet? Di I would like one please ( aconvict that is) but not sent for nuffin nasty of course just a little crime picking a pocket or two maybe lol Sue have a lovely time in Melbourne , and enjoy yourself . Gwenda not too much choccie lucky duck I only have to look at it or go past Darrell-Lee's and half a stone jumps on my body lol ok am going to do some photo sorting and cleaning deja vue and will talk to you all tomorrow Love lara

Thanks Reb for that I needed it, You always make me feel better.. Love toJoodles.. thanks I know I will feel better in the morning.. Much love to you both,, Maryxxx

Hi folk, Here I am. Before anyone starts sending out a search party, I haven't gone MIA, just had a shitty week so I've kept a low profile. Seems it's been one of those weeks for a few of us, so I hope everyone is okay, and everyones problems and woes all get sorted one way or the other soon. For anyone going away, have a lovely, safe time, and may the weather hold out for you. Forget the diets (for a day at least) and enjoy your choccy. Always seems to taste better in the shape of an egg or bunny for some reason. Found this earlier. Hope it gives a laugh to those who need it........... A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four-hour, surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse,' he mumbles from behind the mask, 'Are my testicles black?' Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.' He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles black?' Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, 'There's nothing wrong with them, sir.' The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, ' Thank you very, very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely...... A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?!!? ' :-)))))) Have a great Easter everyone, and hopefully a lotto win. Smile!!! Love Rebs xxx

Yes Vonny - probably when I said in January I was driving down to Bendigo to see the 2 girls. btw - I dont get jokes, so I wont be sending you any mail Vonny!!! Isnt it awful when you use up your allowance. Anna I forgot to say - I hope your son finds some accomodation soon. Mary I know how you feel - but please think of the happy memories, I know I do. Still no Rebs - whyyyy?? Jood

HI everyone Not feeling very cheerful tonight ...I just saw my lovely caravan drive away and I didnt know how much I ,loved it..I thought I would be happy to see it go but when I saw it drive away I had a little weep..I have had such good times in it ,,, it was like a part of my life closing ...which made me feel very sad. Sorry to seem sad as it is nothing to what some on here have felt lately but it is amazing how circumstance changes ones life..and mine has had a big change in the last 10 months.I sold it to a very nice man and I know he loved it as much as I did... You would think it was something alive but it was a way of life we have had for 10 years and I think that is what I feel the most.. the end of an era..so to speak.. Will be back tomorrow in a happier frame of mind.. Love Maryxxxxx

Hi Wattlers, Firstly wishing you all a Happy Easter, safe travelling to those venturing on the roads, and may the Easter Bunny bring you lots of nice choccie– for those who are still eating it – like me – lol Lew – so sorry to hear about Chester. I have shed lots of tears over the years for all our pets – they are so much a part of our family. Joodles – congrats on your grandson – how exciting. Hope your daughter is on the mend too. Tony – give Barb a hug from me – such a horrible disease. Let’s hope our numbers come up this weekend. Sue – have a great time in Melbourne – hope the weather is kind. Anna – hope things look up for your son – very stressful for you all – no matter what age they are our children will always need us. Better get some food going here. Will be able to pop in again tomorrow, but working Sat/Sun – hopefully we will sell all our Easter goodies by Saturday. Of course if the shops are open the shoppers are out – doesn’t matter what the day is. Hi to SusyQ, Lara, Rebs (where ya hiding), Trifly, Mary, Vonny, Heather, Jude 2&3, Laurie, Shazz, Donna, Sandra – gosh hope I haven’t missed anyone – sorry if I have. Waving ~ ~ ~ ~ as I head to the kitchen Gwenda

Jood, Thought I had read about grand children for you but decided that I must have it wrong. It IS fun havng them just down the road and round the corner so to speak!!!! :) enjoy.

Vonny thanks - Im not a new granny - I have four grand daughters 2 in Qld - 13 & 9, and 2 in Bendigo 6 & 7, but this one is in NSWWWW's !!!! My kids were very very late in having their offspring! Jood

Congratulations Joodles on being a grandma. It is sooooo much fun. Sorry to hear that your daughter had such a rough time. I hope she recovers quickly. No rain here to speak of - we had a few drips this afternoon - that's all. Tony, hug to Barb from me too. Such a difficult time. My mum died unexpectedly after a short illness at only 69 and I miss her so, but we did not have this long drawn out sadness. I am not sure which is hardest - maybe both are but in different ways. Happy and safe Easter to everyone. We are staying put also. My sister and family are coming down tomorrow afternoon. I think they hope that everyone would have left Sydney by then. :) Have to go shopping tonight as I have been sooooo busy this week that I haven't had time to think of food for the weekend visitors :0 better go - just leftovers for dinner and have asked hubby to come and do the shopping with me! Vonny

Hello Wattlers – You have rain – or should I say WE have rain. At least in Sydney and the Blue Mountains and in between. It hasn’t arrived at Wollongong yet tho amd according to my B.O.M. map it is heading out to sea now. I hope the traffic slows down on their way out of town as the roads are always slippery when we haven’t had rain for a while. Im staying put over Easter, but I will sneak down to the hospital tomorrow (of course). I live very near to one of the main highways that lead out of town – at least I know the road well, but it’s the other drivers !!! <late news – crash on that same highway just a little while ago – mini bus over turned :-(( > Well meet the new grandma – my daughter had her first baby today – a boy – Lucas Robert, a whopping 8 and a half pounds (breech, caesarian) – she had an epidural and then suffered an epileptic fit (never had one before). I hope she is ok. She wasn’t up to seeing anyone today and I can understand why. Will pop down tomorrow. I’m kinda floating on air today – wonder why? Good luck to all for Saturday night – have a great Easter everyone – safe trip Miss Travel Addict and everyone who is going away. Special hug for Lew lew and Barb and WHERE IS REBS???? Jood

Afternoon Wattlers. Not to bad in Melb.( warmish ) but no sunshine and only the odd occasional peep through the grey clouds can you see blue sky. Thanks for your well wishes for Barb and her mum. I suppose the good thing is we only live 1km from her, and someone is always checking on her to see if she is o'k. We are thinking of having the Gas oven replaced for her, and having hot/plate elements installed. The suburbs around Melb are starting to fill up ( traffic wise ) as peeps head out of city for the country area's with luggage and bedding piled up on the back seats, and kids bicycles tied to the rear heading for their favourite holiday destination. Seems more people on the roads at Easter rather than chistmas to me, and i guess its a last chance holiday before winter sets in. We are staying put this year, and not going away, as our trip in June is not far off. Our youngest ( Sarah....Barbs 1st......my 5th ) has gone camping with her big sisters, soooooo...we are kid free....:>))))) and that means........p.p.p.p.p. peace...:>)) and bliss. Sue ( Tassie) have a safe and great trip to Melb. mate, and perhaps the roads will be empty????...with everyone heading outa Melb, so maybe a good time to come to Melb....lol Every one else thats travelling, have a safe trip and a happy easter to all and your families. Lara. Hope your going to sing.....:>)) if i gotta bring me guitar to Yarrawonga. Maybe we can do a duet, and give out free ear muffs to the other Wattles..... I wont need them as I'm already partially deaf anyway. It could be good, as i wont know what I'm playing ( on Guitar ) and wont hear you singing, so wont know if wer'e in tune or not, and if everyone else is wearing ear muffs, they will just think we sound great anyway........LOL...:>)) Well have a great easter everyone, and stay safe. Tony & Barb......:>))

Hi Wattlers, I hope that it is true 'A sorrow shared is a sorrow halved' Lew, I am very sorry to hear about poor Chester. He wasn't just a cat, he was very obviously an old and dear friend, and it is only natural that you should be feeling grief. Like others I too have lost very close pets and it is never an easy time. Tony, please give Barb a hug from me. I am lucky in saying I have never been in her position, but I am sure this will be a very difficult time for her. I got the numbers thanks, here's hoping. Well, I have now put in my order for Broadband and Hopefully I will recive the modem after Easter. I just hope that it is as good as I am expecting and that they don't send bagpipes with it. I hope that every one has a really happy and safe Easter and you can all have my choccies because I don't eat them. We are staying put, don't like to be out in the holiday traffic. That's a good part of being retired, you can go out weekdays when everyone else is at work or school. I will be about over the holidays so don't forget to let me know how much we have won. Love SuzyQ

I'm off home , early day - yeah! Where is everyone today? Sue glad to hear you are organised for your trip, if we win tomorrow night I'll come back from Alexandra to celebrate with you. lol Have a good weekend, hope all your teams win. byee jude 3

Afternoon Wattlers Well it is a yucky day today, raining most the time, I have done all the last minute things, I had a break for a moment and was looking out by bedroom window at the road, with all the traffic, nearly as bad as peak hour traffic in Melb lol. Well not quite, but cars were bumper to bumper in the 2 lanes heading towards our shopping centre. I was only thinking I am glad I am not out in it today. Then just a while ago we had a visitor who wasn’t too happy as he was driving down the road when the car behind him didn’t stop when he did and run into the back of them which pushed them into the car in front, so they have got a dent in the tailgate which now wont shut properly and a broken grill, headlight and bonnet wont sit how it should. Anna, Hope your son soon finds a place, it is no fun to be in that type of situation. Hopefully the new owners will hold off until they find a place, especially if they realise the rental situation there. Also I hope your family get together is a great success with a lot of sharing of information. Jude YV3 Yes we have got our winter woollies packed. I have got my clothes all ready, apart from a couple of items that are on the line under the veranda trying to get dry with the rain, so I can pack them. David will get his things ready tonight, although we will still be here tomorrow, we will be busy at my Nans and catching up with the family. Tony sending hugs and wishes to Barb and family in this hard time. Thanks for the Lotto numbers. If we win this weekend I will have to hunt all you Vics out and have a drink. Lew sending hugs to you too, it really would put a damper on your new house and retirement plans, just when everything is going along great, something has to come along and spoil it. I may pop in before I go, but if not have a great Easter, I will catch up when I return. Cheers Sue

Happy Easter all and I hope to bunny will be good to you. Well it's finally raining here in Mudgee and I'm sure that it's Chester letting us know he made up it there! Better get back to work - 11 Fridays to go. Lew Lew :-)))) xxx

Happy Easter fellow wattlers, So glad you are feeling a little better this morning Lew. A new bubs how exciting - you forget how small and and delicate a new born is but so nice to give cuddles to - and then hand back when they cry! Fingers, toes and eyes crossed for Saturday night - I want to do a Lew Lew and have a few months off! Winning lotto is the only way I can see the way clear to do so my OH wont let me retire - I keep trying to get the sack , I even sleep with the boss (OH) and he still wont let me out of here - lol. He says I would be bored - huh I don't have time to come to work with all the things I would like to be doing. Phone is sooo quiet today and only 1 car in for service and repairs - its eerily strange. We are normally inundated with last minute jobs for people who have decided they are going away and they must have things done today. Does mean I can catch up on FH and update family tree with some new finds though. There has to be some bonus. I hope Sue has bought some winter woollies with her to Melb, its not looking too brilliant today. Yesterday was glorious, today 23 and expecting rain (sorry sydneyites) Friday and Saturday - yeah no watering the garden. Hope the weather picks up for Sues sake and she has a great time here. Thanks for lotto numbers Tony - hugs to Barb , we had MIL with Alzheimers and she passed away Feb last year, very confusing time for her but terribly distressing for the family our thoughts are with you. Sounds like you need a few VB tablets and a lazy weekend to help you recover after all that partying at the 5 yr olds! So glad it was a success. Not looking forward to being on the road this easter, but at least only have a 100km trip, although its all the idiots that share the road that are the worry, the Black Spur is going to full of traffic heading to Eildon for the weekend. I am looking forward to having 4 days off though. Had some lovely photos in the mail yesterday of my 'adopted ' grand daughter ( my kids wont have any, so my daughters friend allows me to share her daughter) who lives in Port Douglas, she is the one I was finishing off a quilt for ( I think Vonny asked about it - and I forgot to answer her) , its now being quilted and she will hopefully have it in May. Have of course now started another one - this ones for me (finally). glad to hear you are on the mend Trifley, take care and don't overdo it . Well I have waffled enough. I'll try and look in later Hi to everyone/waves jude 3 (the one that stays mostly in Melbourne! - well victoria anyway!) Have a lovely weekend, take care, stay safe and don't eat too many choccies.