General Chat

Good one Rebs, pmsl. Ooo Jood, that must mean we're nearly related! lol Lew x

Well glory be Lew Lew - when you were in Neutral Bay-Kirribilli- North Sydney, I was working in North Sydney and living in Mosman. Not sorry I moved to the mountains tho. Jood

Morning Folk !!! *waves to LewLew* Hiya Lew, this lot can really chat when they're having fun. I think they're having a 'lynch Daniel party' or at best deciding his fate. lol!! Here you go Mary....... Three men - an American, a Japanese and an Irishman were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly, there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The other men looked at him questioningly. 'That was my pager' the American said. 'I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.' A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear When he finished his conversation, he explained: 'That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.' The Irishman felt decidedly low tech, but was determined not to be outdone. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a long piece of toilet paper trailing from his backside. The others raised their eyebrows at him. The Irishman glanced around and said: 'Bejesus! Wouldja look at dat!! I'm gettin' a fax!' Rebs ;-ppp

Morning All, had to rescue us from Page 7! They have been chatty overnight. Well, Jood, it's like this. Born in Melbourne, moved to Sydney aged 5 and lived in Eastwood until 21, then purchased bachelor flat at North Sydney, then Kirribilli, then Neutral Bay. Hubby was a client of the Bank I worked for any already owned a farm at Scone. Anyway, 13 years ago decided to quit Pitt Street, didn't like the look of Scone town, but we always loved Mudgee, so that's how we're here! Phew, now I'm exhausted. Luckily, only 71 sleeps until the big R! lol Had a little rain overnight, but it's clearing up this morning. Hope to get another storm this afternoon. I have perused the contents of Hubby's wallet and relieved him of a 50! Will purchase the winning ticket today. *waves to all* Lew Lew xxx

Thank you for reminding me Mary. lol!! Just don't do it again or the jokes stop. hehe!!! Actually, I thought the game was quite boring...........the Swans take so long to pass the ball it's really easy to fall asleep. lol!!! Should be a couple of interesting weeks ahead though. We've got Hawthorn this Friday, Richmond the week after, and of course the week after that we get to kick a little black and white a*se!!!!!! Gee I love footy season. ;-)))

Hi everyone.. Just poped in to let you know that I am still here..Visitors still here so dont have time for puta... Laurie.. I will get back to you in a day or two.. Have sent off email to a son who is to ask a sister who does genealogy for some websites.. trouble is they may be in Danish????? We will see what comes back..LOL Rebs.. loved my daily joke.. keep it up.. did you notice the red and white won this week..??????? Love to all Maryxxx

I wuz jes wunnerin Lew Lew - you from Melbun originally? How'd ya come to end up in Mudgee?? Inquizzy Jood

Oh Naughty Miss Rebs. Glad you were already on the way to the Corner! Ah Lygon Street, me old stomping ground. mmm now I've got the munchies! Thanks! Lew Lew xxs

On my way to the naughty corner, but had to add this one first. lol!!! A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed at home, so he prayed............ 'Dear Lord: I go to work each day and put in 8 hours work while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen. God, in his infinite wisdom granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, fed them breakfast, got them ready for school and packed their lunches, Drove them to school, came home and picked up the laundry and took it to the cleaners. Did the banking, then went to the supermarket to do the weekly shop. Drove home, put all the groceries away and collected the mail. Paid the bills and balanced the cheque book, changed the kitty litter, cleaned the bird cage and bathed the dog. By then it was already 1pm, so he hurried to make the beds, put the washing in the machine, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor, then hang the washing on the line. Rushed to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies then got the kids organized to do their homework. Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper he loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen, swept the floors-again. Folded the laundry, then bathed the kids and put them to bed, finally cleaning the bathroom. By 9pm, despite still having chores to do, he was too exhausted and fell into bed. Wife came to bed, and he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint. The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, 'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was wrong to envy my wife being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back.' The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, 'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.................................... wait for it........ drum roll.......... You'll just have to wait nine months though. You got pregnant last night.'

Hi Rebs Sorry that your team didnt win, do you know who you are playing this week ???? hee hee, as you said at least you are above Brisbane. I didnt think about getting a pic for you anyway if we always go to that Uncles when we are in Melb. so next time if you give me the number of Drummond St I can get a pic for you. Cheers Sue

Hiya Devly!!! Gee, looks like everyones footy team won except mine. :((. Not to worry, at least we're above Brisbane on the ladder. Dev, you should have gone to Totos on Lygon St. Their pizza and lasagna is to die for. I didn't think about you staying in Drummond St. I could have got you to take a photo of the house I was born in, although it is technically a law firm these days. My grandfather moved there when he was small, and him and my grandmother ran a cobblers business from the shop front down stairs. Nanna closed the shop down after Poppy died in '65. Ooops, now I'm getting all nostaglic and homesick. *clicks heels three times and whispers 'there's no place like home' Q. What's the politically correct version of a 'wanker'?.................. A. An owner-operater. yeah, yeah, I know..........off to the naughty corner!!!

Hi All I’m Back!!!! Hey Tony did you hear the Hawks won???? Wonder if Jude 2 has heard the news yet lol. Well we got into Melb Saturday and the day started of great. As we was organising our car another lady waiting asked me if I was going to the game as she obviously noticed mer standing with my Hawks jacket on, and she had her Geelong jacket on, I stated that we wasn’t and she said well her Dad was going to the game and when he goes Geelong loses hee hee. As we hit the South Eastern about 8.30 – 8-45 I did wave in the general area incase Tony was standing outside watching for me to go past and yes it rained off and on til we got to Morwell. Had a real flash car, air con, cruise control, sports body kit, so we looked real posh sitting up in this Toyota Camry Sportivo. When we got to Woodside beach I went for a walk with Davids Mum in the afternoon, of course I had my jacket still on and we walked past a couple of guys kicking the football in the caravan park, thay told me I should be listening to the radio as the Hawks were 5 points in front. Anyway we had 2 lovely quiet days no mobile service, no putas :-((( no traffic to speak of. Then it was back to Melbourne to stay in Carlton on Monday night, then to another Uncles place last night. We ran Davids Uncle before we arrived to make sure if they needed anything for tea, which they told us we was going out for tea. So when we arrived at their place they looked at me and after the usual welcomes they mentioned that maybe I should change my Hawk trousers as we was going to an Essendon house for tea. His Uncle goes for the Pies and his Aunt goes for Essendon, we assumed it was one of their childrens houses, so I stayed in what I was in. Then we was taken out, we stopped in a carpark and got out then I looked around and saw a horrible sign saying Windy Hill :-0 No wonder they mentioned about changing my clothes, anyway they let me in and fed me and I haven’t keeled over yet, pmsl. The we flew home this morning and arrived to a wet rainy day and hasn’t let up yet. All in all we had a great break, now the tell tale sign will be when I hop on the scales in the morning to assess the damage I have done to my diet :-( Vonny hi we have Mozilla firefox on our puta as well, I like it as I have put all my important pages. Like wattle thread as bookmarks on the bar at the top of page (never do know what to call them) lol, then all I have to do is click on tab and up comes the last message of the wattle thread. Lara gee now that is a hard question, let me think for a while and I will let you know lol. Mary you will be glad when you get your new car, yes Melbourne weather is a bit like our weather, if you don’t like it come back later. However it was ok when we got to Woodside Beach, where Davids Dad lives, a shower or 2 but on Sunday it was a nice day, a little cool but no rain, we had a barbie for lunch and lit the pot belly fire outside and sat around having a lovely time chatting. When we came back to Melbourne on Monday it was nice weather and Tuesday we was driving around with the air conditioner on, so we cant really complain about the weather. Laurie yes we are going to go ahead with a surprise party for my Nans 90th, weather she wants it or not as once it is here I know she will have a lovely time with all the rellies visiting. Lara answer is no. Sorry but the rest of the fans would have my guts for garters. Anyway it makes us, the Cats and Pies all on 2 wins so that aint bad lol. I hope the loss isn’t what made Tiger sick, hee hee. Rebs glad to see you have got your puta worked out, When we stayed in Drummond St Carlton we got some pizza from a shop in Rathdown street. Cant think of what they called the pizza but it was cooked then some thin slices of meat was laid on the pizza just so it was warm but not cooked, wasn’t half bad. Loved the jokes, keep them coming. Anna glad your son has found a place, they will have to try and sign the lease before they change anything else. Ooh and yes I am doing plenty of Squawking, but no crowing hee hee, sorry but I had to put that as we are hawks not Crows, I do forgive you as I know who much you don’t like our game lol. Well after reading 7 pages and adding replies where I could, I am going to leave it at this, Hello to those I haven’t mentioned, hope everyone is well. Cheers Sue

Afternoon All, Ah Vonny, the strap we didn't have, the wooden spoon we did! Got smacked a few times so hard the darn thing broke, hee hee hee. Didn't get to buy Lotto today, will have to do it tomorrow after I have investigated the contents of Hubby's wallet overnight (naughty Lew Lew - must make note to take self to Corner) Cheeky Tony! You're right to have him thrown off the Royal Barge, Trifley. I think we should keelhaul him first though. Thanks for the Jokes, Rebs, keep 'em comin'. Ah February Mudgee Meet sounds like it's going to be a hoot. Lap pool, spa, beautician. Ooo Tony, you're gonna look real cute by the end of the Meet, lol. Seeya, Lew Lew xxx

Afternoon Wattlers, Hope everyone had a good easter. I had a very busy one, with family coming and going. Last of them left this morning. OH had some dental work done this morn so is feeling sorry for himself ( I am feeling sorry for him to, hate going to the dentist). Made pumpkin soup this afternoon, for poor old sore mouth to have for tea. Went visiting some relly's at the cemetary over the weekend and met a relly (live one, he he) who has been doing a bit of reseach on one of the lines i have been researching. She threw me some curved balls re wether an ancestor died on the ship to Australia or not. Now I will have to go back over old ground to confirm my info grrrr. Sound like some of you have been having some fun,...... fishnet stockings???? I didn't read all the thread, so might be missing something but somes a bit risque... lol ....And fun. OK i had better go and get organised fo my working week Take care all Wilson

Von, my Dad had his Army belt on a hook on the woodbox beside the back door, but I never felt it - brothers did a few times - (I was responsible for its disappearance down the pit toilet tho) Mum had the wooden spoon - felt that on the back of my legs a couple of times - but they never lasted long being10 children in the house, there was always someone willing to break it. Sisters were the meanest thing in my childhood . . . . the ones closest to my age - the older ones were my protectors. You never got away with anything in our house - there was always someone ready to dob. My boys say I didn't need a wooden spoon - I used 'The Look' lol cheers luv Laurie

Oooh Vonny, that strap. ;-((( When I was about 8, my old man had bought easter eggs, and hidden them in a box on top of the wardrobe. Easter Sunday came around, and one of the eggs had been nibbled at. He blamed me, and for punishment I had to present my bare bum over the end of the bed to re-aquaint it with the strap. It was actually my 5 year old brother who had climbed on top of the cupboard and done his mice impersonation with the eggs. Years later I got my own back and demolished an entire pack of choc royale bikkies (the dome shaped ones with marshmallow and jam) that the old man had bought. This time my brother got the blame and the backhand to go with it. My old man was never big on sharing. lol!!

Afternoon all, ~~~~~ to Heather, look forward to catching up with you. The car we brought back from Albury that time STILL isn't going! Thanks for asking those questions about the ticket Lew Lew. I don't have a clue either! But I'm going to get Lara to hold my hand :) Rebs :) re the joke. Isn't it funny how something trips a memory? Last night I remembered getting belted (with the razor strap) for chanting a little ditty that contained words that rhymed with 'it'. Can't remember how old I was (old enough to have known better perhaps, but I think I was pretty innocent as a child). I can still remember the ditty to this day - it concerned a cow LOL Anyone else grow up with the dreaded razor strap? Got to go and finish the washing and start packing. We are leaving for our break this Saturday. Cheers, Vonny

That's it Tony................no rides for you on my Royal Barge! I'll have you know I don't do things like that.............talk on the phone AND drive....never! It makes it too hard to concentrate on the conversation pmsl :o) AND..........who's fault is it women's bags are so difficult to use? Men, of course! Like Louis Vuitton, Calvin Klein, Emilio Pucci, Versace and Tommy Hilfiger! It's a wonder women can find anything in their handbags let alone a little piece of plastic like an ATM card. That's it ........you are banned from the Barge......'throw him overboard Nefer!' (means beautiful and boy, is he ever!!!!) Trifley sails off while Nefer feeds her grapes.

Hello Everyone, I am lurking about reading the posts when I get a chance, pmsl at the scenery described herein from day to day! Just not enough hours in my day to keep up with everyone. Will definately be at the Yarrawonga meet though, Vonny I am ALSO hoping to learn heaps from the 'experts' there as I am pretty new to all this and don't have any discs of data etc. I will bring my onfo on the Beechworth side of the family as I'd like to learn about how to look up Victorian bmd's etc. I havn't done any Australian stuff on computer yet, suppose I should confirn all the names and dates I've been given from all over. Tony you did really well with that Irish query didn't you? Well done!! And such a lovely answer. My second cousin leaves Melb today for UK 6 weeks, my hotmatch second cousin in Devon has been in touch and is going to meet up with her and yet another second cousin from Canada, I am so excited that GR enabled all this esp as Devon cuz had no other rellies on his father's side at all, until our Hotmatch!! OK I'm having the rest of the day off, it's too too nice and we worked heaps over Easter, I'll pretend I've retired LOL, 'waving goodbye' Heather in Albury

Of course your worth it Lara.......your a Collingwood supporter mate......:>)) Hope Mike is O'k......and dosent come down with the orribull... 'MAN FLU' .....its a killer. People dont realise that ' DEADLY MAN FLU'..knocks the crappers outa us male species, and we need lots of TLC..and attention, and anything else that we may require,..:>))))) to get us back on our feet. And if that requires R&R and lots of Fishing, and Golf to help with our recovery.....then so be it.....:>)) Rebs. Loved you Clingon joke mate, but like my one better. A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.' MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. FEMALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Take a quick peek at yourself in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on mobile phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake. Tony Oz........:>))