General Chat

I'm so sorry Catherine. Being such a little girl, it will be hard for her. Sheila's advice sounds good. My mother died at home when my youngest was only eleven or twelve. It was such a long illness, that we did not have to talk to him. He was there and experienced the whole thing at first hand. In fact Catherine, he handled it far better than I. You will do the right thing for your daughter. Who knows her better than you? God bless, Deanna X

Thanks Claire That's a nice thing to say.Thanks to everyone who responded.xx

please tell her the truth. my gran died when i was small and noone told me she was ill untill she had gone.. i wish i had known the truth,i would have spent more time with her and made sure that every time i left her ,i told her how much i LOVED her .she was the best gran ever. my childerns grt gran is 92 yrs old and as fit as a fiddle but my children ( 12.9.8) all know that she could go at any time. i just told them that soon she would be a star in the sky (when it happens pick the biggest star ) and she would be looking down on them always, and that if they ever needed to talk to her,just to look up at the sky and talk away

I used books with my children have sent you a pm Julia

Had to explain my dad's illness and death to my daughter when she was 5. The best thing is to be completely honest, explain that he is very poorly, in the simplest terms, and prepare her for that awful time in advance. I think it is awful for children if they feel they are being kept in the dark. When my dad did die, she coped really well, and we talked about all the positive things in his life and what a wonderful person he was, and that he was no longer in pain or feeling so very ill. I'm sure your daughter, at 9, will cope better than you think. Children can always see the light at the end of the tunnel. Very best wishes for you all.xxx

Catherine, I am so sorry to hear your news. I too would recommend the site Sheila mentioned. My children were 10, 6 & 3 when their Daddy died. He had been ill for six years. I was so shocked when my eldest told me 6 months before he died that she knew her Daddy was going to die. Children are a lot more knowledgeable than we think. They just dont open up like some adults. Go to the mentioned site, and if you need anyone to talk to please ask . Jenny. x

there is a wonderful charity called Winstons Wish - which deals with this - they have a website.

That is a hard one depends a lot on the child. My two were 9 and 7 when their Grandad died. They knew Grandad was very poorly but we didn't mention death till it happened. Then their daddy told them. Can't advise just be there with the hugs. So sorry. Germaine x

So sorry to hear your situation. Talk to your health visitor - they should have some useful info x

So sorry to hear this. I would have thought the hospital would be able to put you in touch with a councellor who is trained to deal with this type of thing. There must be advice of some sort to be had to help her come to terms with it. Gloria (((x)))

Have just found out that my (ex) father in law probabably has about a year left if less. He's in his 80's and suffers with kidney problems, was offered dialasis, but refused due to the strain of going to the hospital for 6 hrs a day.My daughter Amy (9) will be devestated as she's very close to him, i obviously haven't said anything to her, but I'm dreading the moment when it comes.Never had to deal with this situation before. It will break my heart as she loves him so much.